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  • r2015
    r2015 Posts: 1,136 Forumite
    Home Insurance Hacker! Cashback Cashier
    They finally settled on £300 a month but she still gives him his "dinner money"


    Not bad for getting a room with meals, heating, gas and electricity, internet, washing and ironing and even his room cleaned included.


    When I started working I got £2 19s 4p and gave my Mum £2 a week and still had to pay my bus fares to get to work.


    When I got married my wages were £26 gross and I gave my wife £20 a week for housekeeping I got what I had left for pocket money.
    over 73 but not over the hill.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,767 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    r2015 wrote: »
    They finally settled on £300 a month but she still gives him his "dinner money"


    Not bad for getting a room with meals, heating, gas and electricity, internet, washing and ironing and even his room cleaned included.


    When I started working I got £2 19s 4p and gave my Mum £2 a week and still had to pay my bus fares to get to work.


    When I got married my wages were £26 gross and I gave my wife £20 a week for housekeeping I got what I had left for pocket money.
    Glad you came back to update.

    So he thought £100 was OK, parents thought £400.

    He's paying £300 but getting £3 per day back to fund his lunches which comes to £65 per month.
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,451 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I don't think she's doing him any favours giving him that money back. Or doing everything for him. It's not a bad deal because he gets his room cleaned? Get him to clean his own room.

    If every penny counts because they are on benefits and losing housing benefit as he's working, the last thing you are going to do is waste 65 quid a month giving someone their dinner money when they've got the funds to pay for their own.

    If she's determined to sort the lunches out, he could make sandwiches and take them in.

    65 quid a month is a lot of money when you don't have much to spare
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    r2015 wrote: »
    They finally settled on £300 a month but she still gives him his "dinner money"

    Just being nosy but do you know why she's doing this?

    He gives them money and then she gives it back to him - wouldn't it be easier if he gave them less and sorted out his own dinner money?
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,767 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    annandale wrote: »
    I don't think she's doing him any favours giving him that money back. Or doing everything for him. It's not a bad deal because he gets his room cleaned? Get him to clean his own room.

    If every penny counts because they are on benefits and losing housing benefit as he's working, the last thing you are going to do is waste 65 quid a month giving someone their dinner money when they've got the funds to pay for their own.

    If she's determined to sort the lunches out, he could make sandwiches and take them in.

    65 quid a month is a lot of money when you don't have much to spare
    I do agree with this about the dinner money, I think it's bonkers .

    And yes, she certainly isn't doing him any favours by waiting on him hand and foot.
    She's making a rod for some poor woman's back sometime further down the line.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Pollycat wrote: »
    And yes, she certainly isn't doing him any favours by waiting on him hand and foot.

    She's making a rod for some poor woman's back sometime further down the line.

    Or making sure that her darling boy won't ever have a serious relationship - why would a young woman take on a partner who wants to be waited on?
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,767 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Mojisola wrote: »
    Or making sure that her darling boy won't ever have a serious relationship - why would a young woman take on a partner who wants to be waited on?

    My first husband thought that any dirty pots put into the sink miraculously washed & dried themselves & hopped back into the cupboard without any human intervention.
    He also used to take his shirts off and leave them inside out.
    I washed & ironed them like that & hung them in the wardrobe. :D

    Husband #2 (current) came knowing how to cook.
    TBH, it wasn't anything to do with his Mother, he went off to uni & learned to fend for himself.
  • just_trying
    just_trying Posts: 1,010 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    This question is asked regular.

    I've asked for a third taking into account other things, which is cheap for them, what they give. Yes I still give them money, buy things for them. My sons wage is due to go up, by £50, no I won't charge him any more which he knows.(£50 a week).

    It's about teaching them to budget and hopefully not be in debt, which is common now. They need to learn.
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,451 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    To be fair I think a lot of 21 year olds would take the line of if someone does something for me I'll let them

    I just find it odd that it's being described as such a good deal that the mum does this that and the next thing for the son when he could be doing his share

    And when the mum gets a job she's not going to be around as much to do all this housework, it makes sense that it's shared
  • just_trying
    just_trying Posts: 1,010 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Well he's not doing his share from what's been said. It's his parents house and they've asked for a certain contribution. When you move out there's one bill after another.

    Someone mentioned a room in London, but what about when you add everything else.

    You don't know the expenses, the rent council tax etc. Where we live the private rents are very expensive, eye watering.
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