Inheritance

Jackieboy

SuzieSue wrote: »

Not always. If the person dying is anything like the people on here who are selfishly boasting about spending their kids' inheritances just because they can then it won't be much of a loss to their children.

Nobody has an inheritance until somebody dies. Until that point, it's just somebody else's money.

borkid

Happier_Me wrote: »

I completely understand this and any large gifts we are ever in the position to hand to our kids will be timed carefully. They need to be well on their way to carving out their own lives/careers and be able to make good use of any financial gift. I do not intend to be bank of mum and dad bailing out or encouraging our kids to spend or behave recklessly. So if my son hits his 30's and can't hold down a job but still insists on getting the latest iphone then he won't be seeing a penny until he grows up and sorts himself out.:D
Controlling maybe, but we have worked hard for what we have and so have my parents and I would hate to see this frittered away.

The bolded part is something we don't know about the OP. If the OP is short of money due to extravagant spending or if the mum has bailed her out before maybe mum thinks enough is enough.

If I came into some money, which I have when long term saving have matured, then both my children have had a small share but they don't waste money and don' expect any. If either of them expected to have a share they wouldn't get one.

ibizafan_2

When my sons were small, my main priority was a good education, so much so that we actually moved county to get into a better system. Both of them went to university and also have Masters degrees, and now have very good jobs and their own properties. I certainly don't feel the need to hand them out large sums of my hard earned money. I don't know how long I am going to live, and I want to do a fair bit more travelling first. Thankfully, they have both said that they don't want any of my money. They'll still get a fair bit when I go, but at least they're happy to wait for whatever's left and aren't trying to get their hands on it now.

Pollycat

SuzieSue wrote: »

All of it, but if a mother can't bear to share her good fortune with her children then she isn't much of a mother.

Put the boot on the other foot:

Maybe a Mother wouldn't share her good fortune because her offspring hasn't been much of a child to her.....

TBagpuss

OP - the money is your mum's. You are notentitled to it, there is no reason at all why you should feel you have any entitlement to it at all.

So no, you shouldn't feel hard done by or that your mother (or grandparents) have done anything wrong or selfish. You're not, and they haven't.

Your mum has been generous to you and has bought stuff for you and for your house.

Do you have a specifc finacial problem? If so, then it might be reasonable for you to talk to your mum and ask her whether she would be willing to help you out with a loan, but it would be perfectly reasonable for her to say no. equally, it would be perfectly reasonable for her to chose to lend you the money or even give it to you, out of her inheritance.

You mentioned that you don't know how much she inherited and you haven't spoke to her about it. It may well be that she inherited far less than you think. You grandparenst / the estate may have had debts or expenses to pay, equally, your mum may need, or feel that she needs whatever funds there were to endure that she is able to afford care if she needs it, or to pay for other things.

Bottom line: The house nad other assets belonged to your grandparents. They owe you nothing, and were perfectly entitledto leve their property to whomever they wished.

The assets noew belong to your mum. She owes you nothing and is perfectly entitled to do whatever she wants with the money, both now, and on her own death.

For what it is worth, when my Granny died, she left £1,000 to each of her grandchildren. I don't know, but would guess that that was probably less than 1% of her estate. I was grateful for mine, and it never occured to me to think I ought ot have had more, or that my dad was selfishfor not handing over a chunk of his share to me or my siblings.

When my other grandparents died, they didn't leave anything to me. I don't feel 'wronged' - they left their estate to their children. I don't know exactly how much my mum got, I would hazard a guess that she and my dad didn't 'need' the money, but I don't begrudge it or the fact that they didn't decide to gift any of it to me or my siblings.

I don't know whether their 2 month holiday in New Zealand was fnded by their inheritance or by other savings. I'm an argument could be made that they didn't 'need' it, but I am glad that they went, and it is absolutely none of my business how they chose to spend their own money.

paddy's_mum

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

I can't decide if I feel a bit badly done to.....

What would you do in my position and how would you feel if you were my mother?

I've taken the liberty of altering your words quoted above.

If I were your mother, and got even the tiniest hint that you were thinking like this, you'd be out of "your inheritance" quicker than I could speak the words Last Will and Testament!

If I were you, I'd be seeking advise and perhaps counselling in order to address the distasteful, pompous, grasping and unhealthy attitudes currently informing my thinking.

HeavyMetalFan

It's a wonder anyone asks for opinions/advice with the sanctimonious folk on here basing their views on massive assumptions.

annandale

Don't think there were assumptions. You made your position pretty clear in the opening post.

Pollycat

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

It's a wonder anyone asks for opinions/advice with the sanctimonious folk on here basing their views on massive assumptions.

OK. What assumptions have people made?

HeavyMetalFan

Just read it through again - plenty of assumptions that I can see. You even rebuffed one yourself.