Inheritance

HeavyMetalFan

sulphate wrote: »

As others have said, legally you don't have any claim over the money.

My parents are slightly older than average (they were 42 & 53 when I was born) so therefore all of my grandparents died a long time ago. At the time I was young and my parents could make good use of the inheritance money (I think they paid off part of their mortgage). I certainly don't feel they should have put it aside for me because I didn't need any money at the time. They always brought me up with values that families help each other. They also believe that money that they earn (and we earn) is not "theirs" but rather family money, that should be spent as and when required. Therefore, if we were a high-earning family and my parents needed financial help, I would bend over backwards to help them. They would be upset if we were living the high life and let them struggle. I know that if they came into some money they would gift some of it to me, that is if they didn't need it of course. It's not that I "expect" it, because I don't, and I've never asked for the money, but it's just how I was raised.

My in laws are different. They never, helped my husband with university, although they could easily afford it, then the year he graduated they upsized and expected him to take unpaid leave from his job to help them move because they didn't want to pay a removal company.

So two ends of the scale.

So... I think it really depends where the money is needed. Does your mother have plans for the money, is she spending it on her house, or saving it for retirement, etc. Do you genuinely need some money for a house purchase or similar, or are you just bad at managing your incomings and outgoings and could do with some free cash? I think the answer to your question depends on individual circumstances as well as your relationship and there isn't enough information given on this thread.

I will give a bit of context so that people don't think this is the widow's mite. My parents are happily married 40 plus years. My Dad had a good job with a public sector employer and took voluntary redundancy after 36 years. He still works but doesn't need to. Mother has her own private pension and her state pension. My Dad has a very generous private pension - no idea if he can claim this yet and I would not ask. They get a brand new German car every other year. They have no mortgage or debt of any kind. They do not believe in it.

So, they are very comfortable. If they were not I would not have given the money a second thought.

HeavyMetalFan

Bogalot wrote: »

I haven't seen any posts that Pollycat needs to apologise for.

She offered to apologise. I said no need.

Pollycat

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

She offered to apologise. I said no need.

Actually I offered to apologise IF I'd made any assumptions but you didn't say which posts of mine contained assumptions.

FBaby

So, they are very comfortable. If they were not I would not have given the money a second thought.

What different does this make? My DD is just getting driving lessons. When she gets her licence, I would be able to afford to buy her a brand new car. Will I? Ha ha, no chance whatsoever. I won't even buy her a £1000 one. What does she think of the matter? Well, she said herself that even though by then she will have probably save enough from her week-end job to buy herself an old but reliable car, there will be no point to it because she doesn't have a real need for it, it would just be luxury.

The question really is: why aren't you wealthy enough through means of your own to afford all the things you wish your parents helped you with?

HeavyMetalFan

FBaby wrote: »

What different does this make? My DD is just getting driving lessons. When she gets her licence, I would be able to afford to buy her a brand new car. Will I? Ha ha, no chance whatsoever. I won't even buy her a £1000 one. What does she think of the matter? Well, she said herself that even though by then she will have probably save enough from her week-end job to buy herself an old but reliable car, there will be no point to it because she doesn't have a real need for it, it would just be luxury.

The question really is: why aren't you wealthy enough through means of your own to afford all the things you wish your parents helped you with?

She might say that to your face, but I bet she says the complete opposite to her friends. I'm making an assumption there but I bet it's bang on.

annandale

The OPs mum has helped her out financially. Was detailed in the opening post

Person_one

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

I will give a bit of context so that people don't think this is the widow's mite. My parents are happily married 40 plus years. My Dad had a good job with a public sector employer and took voluntary redundancy after 36 years. He still works but doesn't need to. Mother has her own private pension and her state pension. My Dad has a very generous private pension - no idea if he can claim this yet and I would not ask. They get a brand new German car every other year. They have no mortgage or debt of any kind. They do not believe in it.

So, they are very comfortable. If they were not I would not have given the money a second thought.

Maybe they were going to surprise you with a gift from the inheritance but then they saw this thread and changed their minds.

HeavyMetalFan

Person_one wrote: »

Maybe they were going to surprise you with a gift from the inheritance but then they saw this thread and changed their minds.

They've been keeping it a surprise for a long time then.

Person_one

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

They've been keeping it a surprise for a long time then.

Then presumably they thought the £3K they spent on you was generous enough.

HeavyMetalFan

Person_one wrote: »

Then presumably they thought the £3K they spent on you was generous enough.

Presumably they did. Either way, we won't be falling out over it.