Renewing your wedding vows

Lily-Rose_3

Person_one wrote: »

Its ok Lily Rose, it wasn't difficult to understand, but now I wonder if I've worded my response badly to have given you the impression that I didn't read what you had written properly!

The situation you describe, of such a small number in a group of young adults having married parents still together, is unusual. Its not the norm. If you were to gather several random samples of 23 adults under 35 you would not find those results repeated very often. You would generally find more people with married parents.

As a counter example, I'm in my early thirties and myself and most of my friends the same age have parents who married before we were born and are still married, some don't of course. Most of my friends who have children are married to the other parent, again of course not all of them are, and not all of them will stay married but the stats do say that most will.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: LOL! What are we like?!

I guess I can only go on my experiences (and that of my daughter's) and you can only go on yours.

And I do know a few people around my age whose young adult offspring had the same experience. (Many parents of their friends were not married, and many of the friends had parents who they can never remember being together.) Although I get that some people will have different experiences.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

I'll just pop this here...

More useful would be a link to the non-anecdotal evidence itself.

catkins

Person_one wrote: »

Statistics also show that couples who cohabit for a length of time before getting married are less likely to divorce.

Well I have seen statistics showing the opposite. The longer a couple live together before marrying the more likely they are to divorce.

I certainly know of quite a few couples who lived together for a considerable time (from 6 years to 14) and their marriages broke down fairly quickly

seven-day-weekend

We renewed our vows after thirteen years of marriage as we had both become Christians and wished to make our promises before God.

We have now been married 45 years. I would like to do it again for our 50th.

Why? Well it's a landmark anniversary and I think it is romantic to publicly declare that we still love each otehr and re-iterate the promises after all this time.

I haven't mentioned it to my husband yet. He might not want to. But I think he will.

(Neither of us has been unfaithful and we are not fed up with each other).

onlyroz

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

We renewed our vows after thirteen years of marriage as we had both become Christians and wished to make our promises before God.

We have now been married 45 years. I would like to do it again for our 50th.

Why? Well it's a landmark anniversary and I think it is romantic to publicly declare that we still love each otehr and re-iterate the promises after all this time.

I haven't mentioned it to my husband yet. He might not want to. But I think he will.

(Neither of us has been unfaithful and we are not fed up with each other).

I can understand why you wanted to renew for the first time but I really don't get why you need to do it again.

seven-day-weekend

onlyroz wrote: »

I can understand why you wanted to renew for the first time but I really don't get why you need to do it again.

Thanks for understanding about the first time. xx

We don't NEED to do it again. I just want to. It may yet not happen as my husband may not want to.

We shall see.

We have friends who do it every ten years.

ETA : JUst asked husband. He is up for it ).

catkins

onlyroz wrote: »

I can understand why you wanted to renew for the first time but I really don't get why you need to do it again.

Why do posters keep using the word NEED? No one needs to renew their vows, no one needs to get married in the first place. No one needs to have a birthday party or an anniversary, no one needs to have a holiday.

We do things because we want to not because we need to

seven-day-weekend

catkins wrote: »

Why do posters keep using the word NEED? No one needs to renew their vows, no one needs to get married in the first place. No one needs to have a birthday party or an anniversary, no one needs to have a holiday.

We do things because we want to not because we need to

Absolutely. I could say why do you NEED to have that huge wedding costing £1000s with 250 guests? I didn't have that, and you are just as married if it is done in in a registry office with two witnesses.

To us the big wedding was a complete waste of money, so we didn't chose to have one.

You do it because that is how you want to celebrate. Same with renewing vows, people do it because they want to. This does not mean there are problems within the marriage (in my experience it usually means exactly the opposite).

Just a celebration of the couples' choosing, same as the big wedding.

onlyroz

catkins wrote: »

Why do posters keep using the word NEED? No one needs to renew their vows, no one needs to get married in the first place. No one needs to have a birthday party or an anniversary, no one needs to have a holiday.

We do things because we want to not because we need to

I've already said that I'm fine with people doing this if they want to - I just find it a bit bemusing. Each to their own though, and I'm always up for a party