Renewing your wedding vows

Lily-Rose_3

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Who officiates at a renewal of vows ceremony?

In the register office, the registrar will do it.

You can do it in Church too (with the Vicar,) even if you didn't get married in Church originally.

https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/article/renewing-your-vows/

Mojisola

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Who officiates at a renewal of vows ceremony?

Anyone you want - there's no legal stuff to comply with.

jackieblack

Lily-Rose wrote: »

And our daughter's friends seem shocked that she has parents who are still together, and still married! Literally, when our daughter was around 14-15, she was one of only 3 pupils in her class with 2 parents still together - and married!

Person_one wrote: »

That's very unusual.

My daughter's experience was almost identical.

Person_one wrote: »

More married couples still stay together than divorce. The divorce rate is actually on the way down, at 42% and dropping.

You're assuming the parents were married in the first place though. You need to include the unmarried parents that split.

Lily-Rose_3

Lily-Rose wrote: »

All of this from Catkins. ^^^ :T

People have told me and my husband that we deserve a medal for being together over 30 years - and it's always people of our generation (around 45-55 years old,) who act like this.

Many of our old friends/ current friends/ acquaintances/ ex work colleagues/ ex neighbours/ general people we have known from the past etc, have been married (and divorced) several times, or in several long-ish relationships and never married, or just permanently single, and they are in shock when we say we have been married almost 30 years now!

And our daughter's friends seem shocked that she has parents who are still together, and still married! Literally, when our daughter was around 14-15, she was one of only 3 pupils in her class with 2 parents still together - and married!

Person_one wrote: »

That's very unusual.

More married couples still stay together than divorce. The divorce rate is actually on the way down, at 42% and dropping.

Sorry I didn't word it very well. What I mean is that there were 23 pupils in her class, and only 3 (including her) had parents who had married before they were born, and were still together by the time the kids were 15.

There were the 3 sets of parents (including us) who were still together and married, then 4 or 5 sets of parents who had been married and had got divorced; but most of the parents of the other 15 or so kids, had either not been married, or had never been a couple (ie; it was a single mom who had had little or nothing to do with the father.)

So, as I said, only 3 kids - out of 23 - had parents who had married before they were born, and were still together by the time they were 15-ish.

Hope I've made it a bit easier to fathom this time!

jackieblack wrote: »

My daughter's experience was almost identical.

You're assuming the parents were married in the first place though. You need to include the unmarried parents that split.

Interesting.

Thanks Jackie,.

Primrose

Having been married for several decades I think the daily way you behave with each other is a constant reaffirmation of your wedding vows. Once is enough if sincerely and genuinely meant.

catkins

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

So just out of boredom then.

No. My marriage is not boring and I am not bored by my husband in the slightest.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I totally understand celebrating your marriage but why would that include the renewal of your vows to do that?

Because I think it is a nice thing to do. I am obviously in the minority in my view though.

borkid wrote: »

I would never consider renewing my vows in a formal way .We've been married 42 years and celebrate our anniversary every year. For our 40th we went on a holiday of a lifetime to the Galapagos islands, we'd wanted to do this for a long as I can remember, it was magical. This year off to a 2 night stay in Suffolk and some birdwatching at Minsmere. Renew vows, why? To me every kind gesture, every day is a renewal of how we feel.

Why do you need an excuse to party? Just have friends around if you want to party you don't need a reason, just have one because they are there.

I don't want an excuse to party. I hate parties. We celebrate every wedding anniversary as well as the anniversary of the day we met. I think a renewal of vows would be a lovely way to celebrate our marriage.

peachyprice

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Who officiates at a renewal of vows ceremony?

Anyone you like, it's not an official ceremony.

catkins

peachyprice wrote: »

Nope, don't get it either. Surely this is what anniversary celebrations are for, especially the milestone ones, a public affirmation that you're still happily married after all those years.

The promises made in the vows are still intact, they don't loose potency over time. My assumption too would be if you need to re-make them it's because they've been broken.

We celebrate every anniversary but only ever the two of us. We didn't have a party for our 25th or 30th as neither of us like parties.

Our renewal, if we have one, would be a small quiet affair. We would probably go for a meal after. Certainly there would be no party.

Your view is that you don't need to remake them and that is fine. My view is that I do not NEED to renew my vows but I would like to

Person_one wrote: »

That's very unusual.

More married couples still stay together than divorce. The divorce rate is actually on the way down, at 42% and dropping.

I know the statistics show the divorce rate is going down but sometimes that is hard to believe. Almost all of our friends have been divorced at least once, quite a few twice and a couple three or more times.

I went to a work reunion recently and was amazed that out of 20 of us 12 have divorced in the last 10 years.

suejb2 wrote: »

Looking at the definition of renew

Resume(an activity) after an interruption
Give fresh life of strength to
Replace something that is worn out of broken.

My marriage hasn't had any interruptions, I take that to be splits or divorciing
My marriage is neither stale or weak
Certainly not worn out of broken

Each to their own but I have always thought them a pointless exercise.

Well as you say, each to their own, and I don't see them as pointless

barbiedoll

We got married on the anniversary of the day we met and yet one or the other of us still manages to forget it most years. To be fair, it's at a time of year when other stuff is going on and we're not big on celebration dates anyway, we just go out and enjoy ourselves when we get the chance, we don't wait for a particular day or date.

I did tell my husband that I wanted to renew our vows in an Elvis chapel in Las Vegas. He told me that it was bad enough marrying me the first time, he certainly wasn't going to do it again! :rotfl:

Person_one

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Sorry I didn't word it very well. What I mean is that there were 23 pupils in her class, and only 3 (including her) had parents who had married before they were born, and were still together by the time the kids were 15.

There were the 3 sets of parents (including us) who were still together and married, then 4 or 5 sets of parents who had been married and had got divorced; but most of the parents of the other 15 or so kids, had either not been married, or had never been a couple (ie; it was a single mom who had had little or nothing to do with the father.)

So, as I said, only 3 kids - out of 23 - had parents who had married before they were born, and were still together by the time they were 15-ish.

Hope I've made it a bit easier to fathom this time!

Its ok Lily Rose, it wasn't difficult to understand, but now I wonder if I've worded my response badly to have given you the impression that I didn't read what you had written properly!

The situation you describe, of such a small number in a group of young adults having married parents still together, is unusual. Its not the norm. If you were to gather several random samples of 23 adults under 35 you would not find those results repeated very often. You would generally find more people with married parents.

As a counter example, I'm in my early thirties and myself and most of my friends the same age have parents who married before we were born and are still married, some don't of course. Most of my friends who have children are married to the other parent, again of course not all of them are, and not all of them will stay married but the stats do say that most will.