Renewing your wedding vows

Mrs_Bones

koexelek wrote: »

And I think it also draws attention to the fact that you marriage has been a bit rocky in the past, where as if things are now good again, I'd rather keep that private.

I think that's a big assumption to make about others. Some may do it for that reason I guess but I don't think you can assume that it covers the majority. A friend who renewed her vows did so because when they'd got married they couldn't have a wedding she had dreamed about. Circumstances and money don't always allow someone to have a wedding as they would really have liked. After many years down the line her other half asked if she'd like to do it all over again, he must have been doing something right all those years they'd had together because she yes once more. It was a fun day full of love, why would anyone want to pour cold water on someone elses happiness.

Mojisola

catkins wrote: »

OH doesn't feel strongly about it but is happy to renew our vows if that is what I want. I don't know why exactly but I feel that I do want that. Our wedding was in a registry office which was my choice but I feel it was all over so quickly.

I would like to write my own vows this time and now that you can get married just about anywhere, choose somewhere a bit nicer. Our registry office was ok and in a pretty location but it would have been nice to have more choice in those days

You're not getting married (you are already married!) so you can choose anywhere you like for a 'renewal of vows do' - you're not restricted to places which are licensed for marriages (which will probably charge you a lot more than an unlicensed place).

DigForVictory

I mildly like the idea of renewing vows, but (a) the existing ones are still solid, (b) the wedding industry has had one bite out of me & (c) I sincerely doubt my husband would cooperate, thinking it all a howling waste of time & money.

I won a *free* photo session at a studio & he & the lads refused to cooperate, calmly pointing out all it guaranteed me was one 6x4 photo taken by a stranger, with plenty of opportunity to spend silly money. Torn between pride at their canny study of the small print & regret at the opportunity lost, I was delighted when the lads appeared a few weeks later, told me to grab my phone & cooperated with a few phonesnaps.
Another time I must try & get them to finesse my husband into a photo with me... I'll not hold my breath.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

catkins wrote: »

There have been other threads about this in the past. On the whole, other posters seem to have the same view as you.

I think it is quite a nice thing to do especially if the couple have been married a long time. It does seem silly when couples do it after 2 or 3 years together.

Me and OH have thought about it. We did think about it for our 30th and now are thinking maybe our 40th.

For us it would be a very small affair so certainly not attention seeking and we would not be having a party.

It annoys me when people assume that any couple that does renew their vows must have had problems in their marriage. I am sure that it not true. It is certainly not true of me and OH.

I see it as re-affirming the love we have for each other and, in a way, showing that we have not had any problems and are still very happy

So just out of boredom then.

TESCOBABE56

How would you avoid it if the missus brought it up?

"Sorry love, got a darts match"

We got married a month before Chas and Di, so I always tell her to "think on" as to how well she has fared. Shes still alive for a start.

Torry_Quine

catkins wrote: »

I don't "need" to re-affirm my views. I just personally think it is a nice thing to do.



Again I don't "need" to.

I think in this day and age of so many marriages breaking up it is a nice thing to show that you still love each other, you still honour the vows you made and, in our case, that we are still happy.

When people hear I have been married 36 years (first and only marriage) the normal first reaction is "wow". When my mum tells people her children have been married 36 years, 34 years and 33 years (all first marriages) she gets the same reaction and lots of people are just amazed.

I find that really sad and see nothing wrong in celebrating a long and happy marriage.




We would probably make our own vows this time so it would be different anyway.

Surely it is more a case of re-affirming the vows not re-making them?

Each to their own but I know so many unhappy couples and couples that don't celebrate their wedding anniversary or anything else for that matter. Why not celebrate the fact that you still have a happy and loving marriage?

I totally understand celebrating your marriage but why would that include the renewal of your vows to do that?

Caroline_a

I know of someone who went the whole hog with this, wedding dress (£2k!!), castle, oodles of friends and relatives, etc. They aren't wealthy, was all done by credit card and loans. They also overshadowed their daughter's wedding that was happening 4 months later. Most people thought it was tasteless beyond....

borkid

I would never consider renewing my vows in a formal way .We've been married 42 years and celebrate our anniversary every year. For our 40th we went on a holiday of a lifetime to the Galapagos islands, we'd wanted to do this for a long as I can remember, it was magical. This year off to a 2 night stay in Suffolk and some birdwatching at Minsmere. Renew vows, why? To me every kind gesture, every day is a renewal of how we feel.

Why do you need an excuse to party? Just have friends around if you want to party you don't need a reason, just have one because they are there.

peachyprice

Nope, don't get it either. Surely this is what anniversary celebrations are for, especially the milestone ones, a public affirmation that you're still happily married after all those years.

The promises made in the vows are still intact, they don't loose potency over time. My assumption too would be if you need to re-make them it's because they've been broken.

Jackieboy

TESCOBABE56 wrote: »

How would you avoid it if the missus brought it up?

"Sorry love, got a darts match"

We got married a month before Chas and Di, so I always tell her to "think on" as to how well she has fared. Shes still alive for a start.

I read that as "Chaz and Dave".:o:rotfl: