Renewing your wedding vows

koexelek

Other than attention seeking, or as excuse for a big party, why do people do this ?

To me it seems like retaking your driving test or Maths GSE, when you've already passed it ?

And I think it also draws attention to the fact that you marriage has been a bit rocky in the past, where as if things are now good again, I'd rather keep that private.

catkins

There have been other threads about this in the past. On the whole, other posters seem to have the same view as you.

I think it is quite a nice thing to do especially if the couple have been married a long time. It does seem silly when couples do it after 2 or 3 years together.

Me and OH have thought about it. We did think about it for our 30th and now are thinking maybe our 40th.

For us it would be a very small affair so certainly not attention seeking and we would not be having a party.

It annoys me when people assume that any couple that does renew their vows must have had problems in their marriage. I am sure that it not true. It is certainly not true of me and OH.

I see it as re-affirming the love we have for each other and, in a way, showing that we have not had any problems and are still very happy

wymondham

Why do you need to re-affirm your vows? Surely daily love etc should be enough? Nice to have a get together though I suppose!!

Gloomendoom

catkins wrote: »

It annoys me when people assume that any couple that does renew their vows must have had problems in their marriage. I am sure that it not true. It is certainly not true of me and OH.

Probably because the assumption is that a promise would only need to be made again if it has been broken.

Wedding vows don't wear out over time.

System

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Probably because the assumption is that a promise would only need to be made again if it has been broken.

If only it was that simple.

koexelek

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Probably because the assumption is that a promise would only need to be made again if it has been broken.

Wedding vows don't wear out over time.

Exactly.

I fully understand celebrating wedding anniverseries, but dont see why you need to renew vows you have not broken in the first place.

System

koexelek wrote: »

I fully understand celebrating wedding anniverseries, but dont see why you need to renew vows you have not broken in the first place.

Well ive been married 31 years and apart from the bit about staying faithful in sickness and in health i cant remember what i agreed to. I didnt agree to obey him though, i know that much.:rotfl:

catkins

wymondham wrote: »

Why do you need to re-affirm your vows? Surely daily love etc should be enough? Nice to have a get together though I suppose!!

I don't "need" to re-affirm my views. I just personally think it is a nice thing to do.

koexelek wrote: »

Exactly.

I fully understand celebrating wedding anniverseries, but dont see why you need to renew vows you have not broken in the first place.

Again I don't "need" to.

I think in this day and age of so many marriages breaking up it is a nice thing to show that you still love each other, you still honour the vows you made and, in our case, that we are still happy.

When people hear I have been married 36 years (first and only marriage) the normal first reaction is "wow". When my mum tells people her children have been married 36 years, 34 years and 33 years (all first marriages) she gets the same reaction and lots of people are just amazed.

I find that really sad and see nothing wrong in celebrating a long and happy marriage.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Probably because the assumption is that a promise would only need to be made again if it has been broken.

Wedding vows don't wear out over time.

We would probably make our own vows this time so it would be different anyway.

Surely it is more a case of re-affirming the vows not re-making them?

Each to their own but I know so many unhappy couples and couples that don't celebrate their wedding anniversary or anything else for that matter. Why not celebrate the fact that you still have a happy and loving marriage?

Lily-Rose_3

All of this from Catkins. ^^^ :T

People have told me and my husband that we deserve a medal for being together over 30 years - and it's always people of our generation (around 45-55 years old,) who act like this.

Many of our old friends/ current friends/ acquaintances/ ex work colleagues/ ex neighbours/ general people we have known from the past etc, have been married (and divorced) several times, or in several long-ish relationships and never married, or just permanently single, and they are in shock when we say we have been married almost 30 years now!

Other people who are older - like over 60, don't seem as shocked, but do think it's 'lovely,' and see us as a happy couple who do lots together (which we are most of the time haha.)

Younger people 35 and under, and especially people in their 20's, seem stunned that we are married, as it's not the done thing with many young people now apparently. And our daughter's friends seem shocked that she has parents who are still together, and still married! Literally, when our daughter was around 14-15, she was one of only 3 pupils in her class with 2 parents still together - and married!

Not sure why people do renew their vows? Is it just when they have had trouble in their marriage? (or one has been playing away, or they both have?) Or do people just do it to celebrate a milestone anniversary? Are there other reasons?

Jackieboy

catkins wrote: »

I don't "need" to re-affirm my views. I just personally think it is a nice thing to do.



Again I don't "need" to.

I think in this day and age of so many marriages breaking up it is a nice thing to show that you still love each other, you still honour the vows you made and, in our case, that we are still happy.

When people hear I have been married 36 years (first and only marriage) the normal first reaction is "wow". When my mum tells people her children have been married 36 years, 34 years and 33 years (all first marriages) she gets the same reaction and lots of people are just amazed.

I find that really sad and see nothing wrong in celebrating a long and happy marriage.




We would probably make our own vows this time so it would be different anyway.

Surely it is more a case of re-affirming the vows not re-making them?

Each to their own but I know so many unhappy couples and couples that don't celebrate their wedding anniversary or anything else for that matter. Why not celebrate the fact that you still have a happy and loving marriage?

I'd just have a (small) party to celebrate a wedding anniversary as it's the celebration of your marriage that you want - surely that's what celebrating your wedding anniversary is about?

catkins

Jackieboy wrote: »

I'd just have a (small) party to celebrate a wedding anniversary as it's the celebration of your marriage that you want - surely that's what celebrating your wedding anniversary is about?

We might do that, not sure yet.

OH doesn't feel strongly about it but is happy to renew our vows if that is what I want. I don't know why exactly but I feel that I do want that. Our wedding was in a registry office which was my choice but I feel it was all over so quickly.

I would like to write my own vows this time and now that you can get married just about anywhere, choose somewhere a bit nicer. Our registry office was ok and in a pretty location but it would have been nice to have more choice in those days