Do You Trust Your Other Half?

Brightonsbest_2

1trainer1 wrote: »

we keep our email, her FB logged in all the time to our computers, some with any websites we are registered in we are logged in all the time and keep them logged in.

also our phones have the same passcodes if we ever wanted to be nosy, if I get a message on my phone and she is closer i will ask her who its from and what it says and same vice versa.

Brill partnership! The way to go!

10/10

:T:T:T

comeandgo

When I was cheating I had a separate bank account and phone my husband did not know about. The bank was under order to never send anything to my address.

suki1964

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Hi

Thanks for sharing

You are a puka lass, fact!

True, those deceived would rarely cheat on their new OH.
True, people like you and me, no matter hown drunk we are would know what is right and what is wrong

10/10 to you
:T :T

Seriously, with a signature like that, please run your posts through a spell/grammar checker.


You are looking a bigger eegit then you need to be

annandale

Has anyone else noticed that the OP's signature is changing on a daily basis

I'm definitely in the being blanked at will camp, I'm heartbroken

suki1964

annandale wrote: »

Has anyone else noticed that the OP's signature is changing on a daily basis

I'm definitely in the being blanked at will camp, I'm heartbroken

If I were you, I'd be making a new thread in DT, whinging on how you are being bullied :rotfl:

Brightonsbest_2

comeandgo wrote: »

When I was cheating I had a separate bank account and phone my husband did not know about. The bank was under order to never send anything to my address.

Thanks for sharing.

Yes, very true re another phone is hidden from OH, quiet common as I have stated in this thread.

Re the bank account and not to send anything to your address, that is new, but those idiots at banks at not to be trusted.

Another ploy the deceiver uses is to going to the library, swimming. If lover boy is fit, they even come to the cheats home as a 'personal trainer,' and they get two birds with one stone, ie get laid in the marital home and 50/80 pounds for the session the lover boy is spending with wifey/etc. The best one is taking a dog for a walk, easily 40 to 60 mins at the lover's nest, car or van.

annandale

Im sorry. But either this is the wind up of the century

Or the OP really does need help. The posts are getting more bizarre every time they post

FBaby

This thread has made me think of all the people I know who have cheated. That includes a number of family members and friends.

Why have they cheated if they were happy in their relationship, why have they not left if they were not happy, ie. why resort to cheating.

In my cases, I would say that the reason is because they still loved their partner deeply BUT there was a hiccup in the relationship that they tried to resolve, hit a wall, and the frustration of feeling helpless in not being able to be listened to, heard, and working through the issue is what have pushed them to someone who was prepared to listen, understand and care.

Example, my dad! His wife (not my mum) has always had an issue with drinking but just about managed to keep it under control until she started to have too much every night. Unfortunately, the excess alcohol turned into aggression in her case and she would latch on my dad, mainly verbally, but also physically. When my dad tried to talk to her, she denied everything. Firstly she could remember, and secondly she was in denial. The whole thing put my dad under massive pressure and stress and then despair when he didn't know what to do any longer to help the situation.

And then of course, one day in confided in a friend. As it is often the case, it was a friend of both of theirs. The feeling that he was able to talk about how it affected him, being listened to, cared for was a massive relief. SHE made him feel good when he was couldn't and didn't seem to want to anymore. The friend had always like my dad, so she started to make a real effort to look good and my dad was faced with a woman who cared for him, listened to him, gave him attention AND was attractive just by the fact that she put an effort into looking good and therefore being happy and stable. Inevitably it happened and went on for a few months until his wife found out. All hell exploded and my dad told her the complete truth. This woman made him feel good, but what was so painful is that it didn't want her to make him feel this way, he wanted his wife to do so, ie. he wanted to communicate with her, he wanted to find emotional intimacy with his wife.

This prompted her to reconsider her role in it and to do something about the drinking. It worked. This happened 20 years ago and they are now a retired couple happy together, sometimes a bit sickly if I can say so!!

I think the above is a very common scenario and it leads back to OP's point, that sometimes, you just don't see that your partner is gradually feeling less and less happy in the relationship and that the more they feel frustrated, the more likely they are to hang on to any rope that someone can throw when they feel they are drowning.

I do believe that in many cases of affairs, when there is still some true love in the relationship, it is frustration and lack of communication that leads to it. This is the responsibility of both to ensure this always remain open. Frustration in not being able to tell your partner or they are refusing to listen to your emotional turmoil can become very painful, so inevitably, you grab any medicine that comes your way to make you feel better.

Brightonsbest_2

FBaby wrote: »

This thread has made me think of all the people I know who have cheated. That includes a number of family members and friends.

Why have they cheated if they were happy in their relationship, why have they not left if they were not happy, ie. why resort to cheating.

In my cases, I would say that the reason is because they still loved their partner deeply BUT there was a hiccup in the relationship that they tried to resolve, hit a wall, and the frustration of feeling helpless in not being able to be listened to, heard, and working through the issue is what have pushed them to someone who was prepared to listen, understand and care.

Example, my dad! His wife (not my mum) has always had an issue with drinking but just about managed to keep it under control until she started to have too much every night. Unfortunately, the excess alcohol turned into aggression in her case and she would latch on my dad, mainly verbally, but also physically. When my dad tried to talk to her, she denied everything. Firstly she could remember, and secondly she was in denial. The whole thing put my dad under massive pressure and stress and then despair when he didn't know what to do any longer to help the situation.

And then of course, one day in confided in a friend. As it is often the case, it was a friend of both of theirs. The feeling that he was able to talk about how it affected him, being listened to, cared for was a massive relief. SHE made him feel good when he was couldn't and didn't seem to want to anymore. The friend had always like my dad, so she started to make a real effort to look good and my dad was faced with a woman who cared for him, listened to him, gave him attention AND was attractive just by the fact that she put an effort into looking good and therefore being happy and stable. Inevitably it happened and went on for a few months until his wife found out. All hell exploded and my dad told her the complete truth. This woman made him feel good, but what was so painful is that it didn't want her to make him feel this way, he wanted his wife to do so, ie. he wanted to communicate with her, he wanted to find emotional intimacy with his wife.

This prompted her to reconsider her role in it and to do something about the drinking. It worked. This happened 20 years ago and they are now a retired couple happy together, sometimes a bit sickly if I can say so!!

I think the above is a very common scenario and it leads back to OP's point, that sometimes, you just don't see that your partner is gradually feeling less and less happy in the relationship and that the more they feel frustrated, the more likely they are to hang on to any rope that someone can throw when they feel they are drowning.

I do believe that in many cases of affairs, when there is still some true love in the relationship, it is frustration and lack of communication that leads to it. This is the responsibility of both to ensure this always remain open. Frustration in not being able to tell your partner or they are refusing to listen to your emotional turmoil can become very painful, so inevitably, you grab any medicine that comes your way to make you feel better.

Dear FB
From the bottom of my heart, a sincere thank you for detialing what happens to even people that are loving, no intention to cheat but it happens.

Great post and once again, thank you.

I just hoep the people that were dead certain that they trusted their other half now are able to see the fuull facts that even with the best will/trust in the world, thing can go belly up.

Enjot your weekend!!

:T:T:T

catkins

FBaby wrote: »

This thread has made me think of all the people I know who have cheated. That includes a number of family members and friends.

Why have they cheated if they were happy in their relationship, why have they not left if they were not happy, ie. why resort to cheating.

In my cases, I would say that the reason is because they still loved their partner deeply BUT there was a hiccup in the relationship that they tried to resolve, hit a wall, and the frustration of feeling helpless in not being able to be listened to, heard, and working through the issue is what have pushed them to someone who was prepared to listen, understand and care.

Example, my dad! His wife (not my mum) has always had an issue with drinking but just about managed to keep it under control until she started to have too much every night. Unfortunately, the excess alcohol turned into aggression in her case and she would latch on my dad, mainly verbally, but also physically. When my dad tried to talk to her, she denied everything. Firstly she could remember, and secondly she was in denial. The whole thing put my dad under massive pressure and stress and then despair when he didn't know what to do any longer to help the situation.

And then of course, one day in confided in a friend. As it is often the case, it was a friend of both of theirs. The feeling that he was able to talk about how it affected him, being listened to, cared for was a massive relief. SHE made him feel good when he was couldn't and didn't seem to want to anymore. The friend had always like my dad, so she started to make a real effort to look good and my dad was faced with a woman who cared for him, listened to him, gave him attention AND was attractive just by the fact that she put an effort into looking good and therefore being happy and stable. Inevitably it happened and went on for a few months until his wife found out. All hell exploded and my dad told her the complete truth. This woman made him feel good, but what was so painful is that it didn't want her to make him feel this way, he wanted his wife to do so, ie. he wanted to communicate with her, he wanted to find emotional intimacy with his wife.

This prompted her to reconsider her role in it and to do something about the drinking. It worked. This happened 20 years ago and they are now a retired couple happy together, sometimes a bit sickly if I can say so!!

I think the above is a very common scenario and it leads back to OP's point, that sometimes, you just don't see that your partner is gradually feeling less and less happy in the relationship and that the more they feel frustrated, the more likely they are to hang on to any rope that someone can throw when they feel they are drowning.

I do believe that in many cases of affairs, when there is still some true love in the relationship, it is frustration and lack of communication that leads to it. This is the responsibility of both to ensure this always remain open. Frustration in not being able to tell your partner or they are refusing to listen to your emotional turmoil can become very painful, so inevitably, you grab any medicine that comes your way to make you feel better.

A hiccup in a relationship is not a reason or excuse to be unfaithful. Most relationships have their ups and downs - does that mean it is ok to have a fling when your relationship is in a down period? If you truly love someone why would you treat them so badly with zero respect? Strange definition of love

Me and OH have been through some rough patches but neither of us would ever have been unfaithful.

Most of the people I know who have had affairs have done so because they think the grass is greener (they almost all found out it wasn't)