Do You Trust Your Other Half?

Brightonsbest_2

catkins wrote: »

A
Most of the people I know who have had affairs have done so because they think the grass is greener (they almost all found out it wasn't)

If there was ever a fact, this is it.

svain

Brightonsbest wrote: »

If there was ever a fact, this is it.

In some cases it's probably much greener ... Positively lush!!!

annandale

Yeah

Dating someone who doesn't search your handbag

FBaby

A hiccup in a relationship is not a reason or excuse to be unfaithful.

Why does it have to come down to excuses, ie. if you've cheated, you're fully guilty, if you've been cheated, you're the poor victim.

It's not about reasons or excuses, it's about a relationship that was clearly unstable resulting in the outcome of cheating. In many cases, it's the relationship's fault, the dynamics of it that has gone wrong, and that can rarely be attributed 100% to one or the other.

To me cheating will either be a catalyst to make necessary changes within a relationship that were not taking place without it (as in my father's case), or it is only leading to the inevitable, ie. separation/divorce that would most likely still be the outcome of the relationship, cheating or not.

I am in no way trying to excuse it and I myself have never cheated nor even considered doing so, even when thing have been bad, very bad. I've left or fought on. However, that didn't make me a better person, nor does it mean that my partner was any less or more responsible, as I was, for the difficulties in the relationship.

Also, in my experience, cheating has resulted in very positive outcomes, with people reforming relationships that has made them much happier than they were before. Sometimes it can be a blessing, it's just that becomes so much later after the event.

Brightonsbest_2

catkins wrote: »

A hiccup in a relationship is not a reason or excuse to be unfaithful. Most relationships have their ups and downs - does that mean it is ok to have a fling when your relationship is in a down period? If you truly love someone why would you treat them so badly with zero respect? Strange definition of love

Hi

No excuse indeed. Sadly, and many with their heads buried in the sand here and blinkered by the fact that even those cheats, all of them I guess, have told their other half, " I LOVE YOU AND WOULD NEVER DREAM OF CHEATING ON YOU."

Sadly, the rest is history. Even more sadly more men and women don't get to find out if they have been deceived made a fool of. Worse still, not sure re exact figure but can look up, many men wrongly assume that their children are their, but sadly not the case!

Pollycat

Brightonsbest wrote: »

No excuse indeed. Sadly, and many with their heads buried in the sand here and blinkered by the fact that even those cheats, all of them I guess, have told their other half, " I LOVE YOU AND WOULD NEVER DREAM OF CHEATING ON YOU."

I can't conceive of anyone actually saying this whole sentence.

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Worse still, not sure re exact figure but can look up, many men wrongly assume that their children are their, but sadly not the case!

I'd be quite interested in the 'exact figure' as I'm not convinced that your term 'many' is actually true.
However, sadly , I believe I'm being blanked at will :rotfl:so you'll probably not read this.

Maybe someone who is not being blanked at will could ask the OP to produce evidence to back his statement up.

Brightonsbest_2

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/whats-like-cheat-your-husband-8523115

FBaby

Me and OH have been through some rough patches but neither of us would ever have been unfaithful.

I don't think you can speak on behalf of your husband though. Can you really truly say that when your marriage was at its absolute worse, when you were questioning whether it is worth staying because you couldn't see a resolution to your issues, that if some rich handsome charming guy came into your life, first as friends only of course, but then telling you how he'd fallen in love with you and wanted to give you all your husband wasn't then, you wouldn't, even for a few minutes, have thought 'what if'?

I think it most cases, that opportunity never comes, so it makes it much easier not to consider cheating. Saying that, a friend of mine was exactly in this situation (well at the stage of being very good friends with the potential of the next stage not far off), she did think about it quite seriously, but did decide to give it another go with her husband and they did work things out (she was honest with him about this 'friend' and what he was bringing into her life that she desperately wanted from her husband).

Most of the people I know who have had affairs have done so because they think the grass is greener (they almost all found out it wasn't)

Almost all the people who I've know who've had an affair and left their marriage/long term relationship for that new person are still with them after many years.

NeilCr

It's a winter's night chez BrightonsBest

Mrs BB has gone out for the evening, accidentally leaving her phone at home

BB sees his chance. It's three months since he has had the opportunity to check if Mrs BB has been cheating - (after all there is a 90% chance that she has). He picks up the phone and starts checking her texts

Just at that moment the door opens and in walks Mrs BB "sorry I am back so quickly BB I left my ph..... what the hell do you think you are doing?"

"Please don't worry Mrs BB - I was just looking at your phone to see if you have been cheating on me. After all it says here (brandishes copy of the Daily Mail) that you most probably have been"

"Oh is that all BB. I completely understand. I'll go out again without my phone so you can have a good look. As it is in the Daily Mail it must be true and I have, obviously, been cheating"

Or maybe not?

annandale

You'll end up on the blank list with a post like that