Do You Trust Your Other Half?

annandale

The OP has started a thread on another part of this forum saying that hes being bullied.

Gloomendoom

macca1974 wrote: »

Have some confidence in yourself and your relationship. Life is far to short to be constantly worrying about what your OH is doing.

I think this is the real problem. particularly after reading the OP's post in the "Where did you meet your partner" thread...

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Thanks for asking.

I paid for mine in a roundabout way. Understanding was that I looked after her family and her, family is abroad - We meet on the net, spoke, exchange pics, I flew over met the family, the next visit we married and
now she is my very happy OH, I was concerned as she was 10 years younger than me as I was 36 and she was 26, this was a number of years ago and she has aged well and very fit.

I have to keep an eye on her as many men give her a second and third look and my favourite song is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCJpzpd-8us

Brightonsbest_2

meer53 wrote: »

Keep up. I didn't check it "after" he cheated. I confirmed he had cheated by checking his phone. He did something that made me suspicious. I would have found out anyway, without having to check his phone, it just meant i found out sooner than he had hoped i would. Although he really thought he was clever enough to avoid being caught.

Hi

I sincerely apologise for not keeping up.

Even if you saved yourself a day of being deceived it was worth it.

Brightonsbest_2

catkins wrote: »

I can absolutely 100% guarantee that I would not cheat. For me, cheating is completely wrong. If you are with someone you love and respect you would never do that to them. If you don't love and respect them then you should leave before you start a new relationship with someone else.

I also am sure my OH would not cheat. I know him so well after 36 years and know his views are exactly the same as mine. We both despise people that cheat.

Dear Catkins

Many thanks for the second post. I'm sure you won't cheat and nor will your other half and I'm am pleased about that.

Sadly, the people that cheat and these days many have been together for 30/40 years and more said the same things as you have posted and some still get.

What I'm saying is always be aware as no one wants to be made a fool of. Having said that not everyone is a chat but then again not everyone gets caught. Indeed there is a percentage of people that don't cheat or any intentions of it like you and me. TBH, I have been tempted, but since I have been deceived, even if the thought crops up, soon dusted.

Good luck as it appears you two have a perfect relationship
:T:T:T

Brightonsbest_2

GlasweJen wrote: »

We both have codes to unlock our phones but we know what each other's code is. I'd never pick his phone up and go through his messages.

I have secrets, nothing major. I don't fancy another man or anything but I have a secret credit union account that gets topped up by direct deductions from my wages. My mum had a horrific divorce that saw her leave with 3 kids under 5 in the middle of the night after witnessing her husbands extreme violence against one of us kids. It then came out that he was molesting us so going back was not an option. She didn't have any money and if it wasn't for the hospital social worker who got her in touch with women's aid we would have been on the streets. Everything was in my dads name even the child benefit and all of the household accounts and bills.

We shared a room in a women's hostel for almost a year before we got our flat from the council to move into.

My credit union money is my emergency money. I hope I never need to use it and if the marriage goes well and the kids are up and we're happy I'll come clean. He could know for all I know, I constantly leave my pay slips lying at my backside and I get mail from the credit union.

Thanks for sharing

You and mum has been trhough a lot.

About the secret stash, though I do not condone it, I can see the reasons you are doing it which are commendable.

ATB

Pollycat

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Thanks for sharing

You and mum has been trhough a lot.

About the secret stash, though I do not condone it, I can see the reasons you are doing it which are commendable.

ATB

I feel a lot more comfortable about GlasweJan's 'secret stash' than I do about someone sneakily checking someone's phone and going through their handbag behind their back.

FBaby

If you don't love and respect them then you should leave before you start a new relationship with someone else

Just to comment on this. I think that is the theory, however, not so much the practice. That's because relationship is not just about love, it's about companionship AND comfort and many are not prepared to give this up until they can be reassured that there is someone to replace it in addition to the love.

Brightonsbest_2

FBaby wrote: »

Just to comment on this. I think that is the theory, however, not so much the practice. That's because relationship is not just about love, it's about companionship AND comfort and many are not prepared to give this up until they can be reassured that there is someone to replace it in addition to the love.

Hi FB

I felt the same as you did but did not post this as I did not want to be hounded any further. Almost every commoent I make, 3/4 user names nit pick them

Anyway, excellent post 10/10

:T:T:T

Marvel1

FBaby wrote: »

Just to comment on this. I think that is the theory, however, not so much the practice. That's because relationship is not just about love, it's about companionship AND comfort and many are not prepared to give this up until they can be reassured that there is someone to replace it in addition to the love.

I may be reading this wrong but to me it sounds like they are insecure and have no independence on their own.

annandale

Please let me be on the blanked at will list