Sashybo - Back Again

sashybo

Hi Willow and jwil. 👋 Good to know that private screening is an option, I'm not sure if DS is actually on the spectrum, has a learning difficulty or is just being lazy at school tbh. He does have his little quirks but has always been the same and is a very chatty wee boy at home but apparently he doesn't speak much at school. I know he's capable of the work but is definitely struggling with reading and writing more than anything else.

The social aspect worries me a bit as he doesn't really have any particular friends, he does mention quite a few of the children in his class and a few of them are very good with him and always say hello and come over to him. But I can see him watching the others and trying to figure out how to act and join in sometimes, it's like he doesn't know what to do. The teachers said they have seen him in the playground and he tends to float around on his own but he's not distressed or unhappy. He seems happy to watch more than join in, again maybe it's something he'll grow out of, I think he's quite an anxious child and I know that both DH & I definitely were similar as children. DD on the other hand is the complete opposite and is really sociable and bolshy with other kids, she just invites herself to play with them. 😂 

I had a nice dinner out with my friends and was home for 9pm. 😆 We're thinking about going away for a weekend for our 40th birthdays,  I'll be 40 in the summer but the rest of my friends aren't 40 until next Jan/Feb apart from one in the winter so it will probably be next year before we go. Gives us lots of time to co-ordinate dates and save up as well. DH said if we struggle with dates he can always put in for time off as well so he can watch the kids. 👍 

DS & DD had a Star Wars binge at the weekend and watched episodes II & III (the prequels), then back to episode IV. DS had watched the phantom menace the weekend before and has already seen the original trilogy. He loves it and is obsessed with the lego too. 😂 Luckily DH & I are both sci-fi fans. DD is torn between her love of Chewbacca and her ambition to be the emperor. 😂 DS is a big Darth Vader fan and was shouting encouragement to Anakin throughout the prequels. 😂 He was so happy watching the films and then acting them out with his lego, he's getting really good at making his own sets with the loose parts and made the emperors throne room using pictures and his own imagination. 😍 

I did half an hour of tidying and decluttering in my bedroom yesterday, I only managed my bedside table/drawer and a basket on top of my chest of drawers but it looks so much better already. I'll try and do some more this week and hopefully it will make things a bit easier when I need to move everything to paint in there.

Had to take DS to his swimming lesson last night as DH was working, DS did really well and DD was happy at my mum's playing with the new kitten she got. DS was so excited to go back so that he could play with the kitten too, he kept putting the feather wand near my legs so I was getting little kitten needle claws climbing up my legs! I think my mum has really missed having a pet and the wee kitten is very affectionate so that's good.

I went with DS's class on a litter pick this morning, there were two other mums as well. All I can say is the poor teacher, the kids were hyper and running about mad with the litter pickers. Teachers definitely deserve a medal and a very big pay rise, I couldn't cope with 23 hyper 6/7 year olds day in and day out. 😱 

After that I went for my run and it felt pretty good, I enjoyed it as the sun was out and it was a nice day although I got soaked in a heavy shower on the way back. I managed 5k in just under 35 mins which I'm really pleased with. My hip is a bit achey now but I have my physio exercises to do as well today which will hopefully help. I have been referred to physio by my work and had a 5 minute phone call with the department that deal with it today - they are passing my info onto the clinic I was at the other week and they will call me so it looks like I'll be getting 5 sessions through work.  🤞 👍 

beanielou

How lovely that your mum has a kitten 🐱 
Potentially good news on the referral. 

jwil

Little miss's referral is more for the social side of things.  She struggles with her peers though is confident with adults.  

Good news about the referral!

sashybo

I did some yoga yesterday morning after the school drop off then hoovered the couches and dealt with the washing but apart from that I had a relatively lazy day. I keep meaning to get more done but just want to lie on the couch with old cat and my kindle. 😂 

After school I dropped the kids at my mum's and DH & I went to collect bunk beds so the kids can stay over at my mum's again (once DD has calmed down a bit!). An old neighbour of ours was selling them for £50 and that included mattresses with mattress toppers so that was a bargain. It did take 2 trips in the car and it was a bit of a struggle fitting the bed frames in as they were just a touch too long for the car even with the seats down including the passenger seat but DH managed it. 😀 Our old neighbour then refused to take any money from us and said we were doing her a favour by taking them away anyway. So that was lovely of her. 🎉 My mum just needs to clear out the room the bunk beds are going to be in, we moved the beds & mattresses up there for her still dismantled and my big nieces are coming round at the weekend to help her empty the room and hopefully to put the beds together. If they struggle with putting the beds together DH will go round and do it though.

I'll need to check with my mum if she needs duvets, pillows & bedding for the bunk beds as well. I'm sure we can get some for a fairly decent price, especially since we got the beds for free. I priced up buying new bunk beds and mattresses and it was going to be near £400. 😱 

DD hasn't woken up crying about itchiness or stingy pee since I dosed her with the worming medicine at the weekend, fingers crossed it has sorted the issue and it doesn't come back. 

Today I was lazy and took the kids to school in the car as it's really wet and windy. I've put one washing on and another away and am having a cup of tea tucked up in bed. 😂 Going to get moving soon and will hang the washing up and get another on then do some body strength exercises followed by my physio exercises. I want to get the floors downstairs cleaned and the floors upstairs hoovered plus clean the bathrooms. I might make some leek and potato soup as well, back to work tomorrow for my 2 lates, 1 day off then another 2 lates, hate this part of my working pattern!

jwil

Great result on the beds!

beanielou

Great result on the beds indeed. 

Lots of bedding bargains at the moment ☺️

sashybo

Thanks guys, I was really pleased that the beds, it was a bargain at £50 then getting them free was even better. 😊 I've been looking for ages too.

Work has been ok but I've been really tired. I was really ill on my 1 day off between 4 shifts which is typical, I had a terrible sore stomach for about 12 hours but wasn't sick, I hardly slept and was in bed most of the day. I'm starting to wonder if I have IBS as this is the third time in 3 months that I've had a terrible sore stomach. I think I need to track it and try to take a note of what I've eaten incase it's food that's triggering it. My mum and sister both have IBS so it could be that. I've ordered some probiotic supplements and psyllium husks to add to my diet as well.

My sister had her 5th(!) baby last night so I'm an auntie again, I now have 5 nieces 😂 plus my 2 older nephews. She's only 6lbs 11oz so is dinky compared to my 2 giant 9lb babies. The kids are so excited to see her but I'm going to give my sister a couple of days to recover before visiting.

I helped out on a nursery visit today so DD was very excited, it was only for an hour & a half, we went to the local pub for Easter arts & crafts and the kids loved it. There were some blue & white balloons and one of the kids sniffed and said "I can smell blue". 😂 One of the 3 year olds was kicking off constantly, didn't want a jacket, wanted a bag etc reminded me of DD at home. 😂 I'm going back later for bookbug which is singing with puppets, DD loves it. 🤦‍♀️ 

We have booked 4 nights away with the kids just after the Easter holidays (as it's cheaper and DH has his annual leave then) and are going to the Lake District this time. We have the majority of the money saved up so that's good and think we all need the break tbh. Only thing is it means that the kids will be off for 3 weeks rather than 2 so I'm going to be exhausted by the time they're back at school and nursery. 😫 I will enjoy not having to do the school run though!

Back at work on Easter Sunday for 3 early shifts and the clock is going forward so I'll need to be in bed very early on Saturday night. 😩 We've got the kids one big egg each, a chocolate bunny each and some small sweets plus an Elsa doll for DD (she saw Frozen at my mum's and is constantly singing Let it Go 🤦‍♀️) and a small lego set for DS. I had some survey vouchers so used them for the toys.

Will try and get some housework done today as want to have a relaxing day tomorrow before the kids stop for the holidays.

jwil

Congratulations auntie sashybo!  Hope you enjoy your trip to the Lake District.

sashybo

Thanks jwil, we're really looking forward to having a break.

We visited my sister and the new baby at the weekend and all enjoyed having a cuddle - it was nice to give her back though. 😂 DS just loved her and was practically glued to the side of whoever was holding the baby. DD was mildly interested then went to play with the dog. 😆 

I managed to get out for a run on Saturday morning and then again this morning before DH went to work. The kids being off school is messing up my running schedule as I normally run after dropping them off at school and nursery. I'm having to wait until DH gets home or go before he leaves or wait until his days off. He's still training at work so working Mon-Fri which is not what we're used to and makes it harder for me to get out.

Took the kids to one of the local care homes today as the nursery had organised a visit. We got to play with guinea pigs, bunnies, mice, chickens and ducks so the kids loved it. I got to cuddle a very fluffy bunny for ages, it was so chilled out and didn't bother about the noise of all the kids screeching!

My 3 early shifts exhausted me this week, the clocks going forward really seemed to knock me off. I managed to sleep in one morning and woke up at 5:45 instead of 5am but was only 10 mins late for work luckily.

Have been feeling really down about work again, I think it's because DH is training for a new route at work and he's really interested and talking about it all the time. I'm basically jealous as I'm so bored, doesn't help that a few people have also moved onto other jobs from my department. I feel mean and bitter that they're escaping and i just don't feel like a very nice person tbh.

DH is meeting loads of new people and going new places and I guess I hadn't thought about all of the people he sees at work on a daily basis. I feel like I have nothing interesting to talk about and never go anywhere or do anything and then in a burst of crazy that leads to he finds me boring and he'll be looking elsewhere because he sees loads of people every day so he knows he has options. I had major anxiety about all my negative feelings and took it out on DH so then we had a fight. I genuinely felt like I was losing it and didn't feel like myself at all. 😢 

So have spent most of this week feeling pathetic and basically like a bit of a loser. 😔 Realistically I can't really get another job right now as I would have to go full time and it just wouldn't work with DH's shifts and the childcare would be stressful to say the least. 

I don't know if this is the start of perimenopause as it all started with my TOTM or if I'm just depressed. I'm feeling slightly less crazy now but am still down. So of course that has caused me to spiral into negative self talk about how useless I am and no wonder I can't make new friends. I close myself off because I get my feelings so easily hurt that it's easier to pretend I don't care anyway. 😞 I know I'll get over it, a job doesn't define me, it's just a job after all but I'm just having to struggle through it right now.

jwil

Sorry you are feeling down.   All those things your anxiety/depression are telling you are just not true, and you come across as a perfectly nice person on here. You are definitely neither pathetic nor a loser!

I get it that childcare might be an issue in the short term, but it's always worth keeping an eye out for suitable jobs even if you don't want to/feel you can apply for them at the moment - help you identify the sort of things you might want to do in the future, and what skills you might need for them.  And also what transferable skills you have - there will probably be loads in your current job that you don't even realise you've got.

Could you maybe learn something new to help build your confidence?  That might be looking at something job related or just a hobby course for interest?  There are loads of free short courses on the likes of Open learn and Future Learn and other places, some of which can help you develop skills for the future, or just get you thinking about something new which might help with the boredom and build your confidence.

Most of all though, be kind to yourself.  Don't underestimate how hard it is and what an emotional drain it is having young children, especially if you are doing the bulk of the care/organising.  The mental load is really high.  I feel like I'm just coming out of the other side now mine are starting to get a little older, and it finally feels like there's light at the end of the tunnel.  Do see your GP if things are getting tough.  And have a big hug from me!