Sashybo - Back Again

Sun_Addict

I think DH is being very unreasonable expecting you to work full time while your kiddies are still so young. I was part time until mine were teenagers.

Job wise, what sort of thing would you enjoy doing? We spend a lot of time at work and it should be something you quite like at least. Could you retrain? 

I hope you feel less anxious soon x 

sashybo

Thanks SA, I think DH just hasn't thought it through tbh, he just sees the majority of his friend's wives/partners working full time and probably thinks well why shouldn't I be working full time as well. I think he forgets that a lot of them have older kids or work 9-5 jobs so the childcare is a bit easier to arrange than for shifts starting at 6am or finishing an after 11pm.

I have no idea what I would like to do job wise, I'm not particularly ambitious but would like to use my brain occasionally. The job I'm in is ok but I've been doing it for so long it's easy and I often have nothing much to do for an 8/9 hour shift. I feel bad complaining because the wage is good for what I do and I could be working somewhere doing a much harder job and earning less!

I managed to do the big cat litter clean, a few washings, hoover the couches, stairs and bedrooms and clean the downstairs floors yesterday. Today all I have done is hang up a washing, put one away and strip my bed and get the sheets in the wash. Feeling really tired today and could happily have went back to sleep this morning even after an 8 hour sleep!

I went for a run after dropping the kids off and managed 5.7km, it was slow and my sore hip was niggling again. I have finally booked an appointment to see a physio as this hip has been sore for months. Hopefully it's something that can be sorted with some targeted exercises - I think one side is weak so the other is overcompensating and is now sore, it's also the same side that I have my slightly dodgy knee and I think that was to do with tight hip flexors.

beanielou

Get the physio appointment booked! 

sashybo

I’m going next week Beanie, have been putting it off for ages!

sashybo

And the outlaws have struck again!! We haven't seen them for nearly a year now as the dates we give when they ask "don't suit them" despite them being retired and having just spent the last month abroad. 🙄 I think they're still in a huff that DH didn't go and visit them alone with DS in the summer!

They have sent DH an email saying they want to give us 10k but only if it's paid off the mortgage! Ok it's very generous but why do they have to dictate what we would do with it? 🤔 That amount of money could ease our day to day costs a bit more now by paying off debt rather than helping in the future by paying it off the mortgage.

DH has replied saying that's great thank you, however it would be more useful for other things right now (i.e. our fixed rate mortgage deal ending and the monthly payment going up by £250) if you still insist on it going towards the mortgage I will send you the account details. Wonder what the reply will be? DH is very annoyed with them and so am I but really it doesn't affect us much either way does it? If they get offended and don't pay it off the mortgage, no change, if they do pay it off the mortgage, still no immediate change. A gift isn't a gift if you tell the recipient what they "must" do with it. I know I sound like an ungrateful brat but it's not really about the money, it's the control freak aspect of it all.

Poor DH didn't sleep much last night for worrying about it. I'm trying not to waste any more time thinking about it to be honest. They always pull out the money card when they haven't seen us or the kids for a long time - although them not visiting is totally their choice, DH has given them suitable dates when asked and they choose not to come. Latest stipulation for a visit is next month but "after easter" - well the kids will be back at school and nursery then, why not visit them when they're off? I don't understand them, I think they like the idea of grandchildren more than the actual reality.

Going out for coffee and cake with my mum and sister for an hour today before picking the kids up from school, will be good to catch up with them. Have done some strength work and yoga this morning and will go for another run tomorrow after school drop off. Handed in some of DD's old leggings to nursery plus egg boxes they were asking for.

DS has been pestering for the new star wars lego magazine since he got the last one! Have said if he's good at pick up I will take him to buy it, DD will want a magazine too so that will be me at least £10 down. 😱 

Maybe I can get the bedroom ceiling painted over the weekend. 🤔 Would really like to get my bedroom painted this month, I've been saying that for ages now. I need to try and tidy the room first, there are lots of things that should be elsewhere to be honest.

DH meant to be going out with his friend for dinner and a few drinks tonight, hope it goes ahead as he could do with having a bit of fun.

sashybo

Oh forgot to mention that I won £50 in the premium bonds this month. 😀 This is the one I have in my name for DS as his savings made a loss in the previous friendly society bond we had for him (money the outlaws gave us for him when he was born). DD has hers in a junior ISA so it's locked in until she's 18, with DS we will give him the premium bonds amount when he's 18. We also have another premium bonds account under DH's name with the kids combined savings. That one will be halved between them, probably when they're in their twenties and/or need a significant amount and can be trusted not to blow it all. 😂 DH has won £25 on that bond so at least we've both made a bit of money and it's out of sight/out of mind. We've set them up so any wins are just re-invested.

jwil

Well done on the PB wins!

Your in laws are so intrusive!  I'd be tempted to just take the money and then not tell them what you are using it for If they don't see your mortgage statements they wouldn't know!

Would there be any benefits from paying it off the mortgage though, maybe in terms of LTV or getting a better rate with a lower amount outstanding?

sashybo

The problem is that they won’t give us the cash, I think they want to pay it directly off the mortgage so we can’t do anything else with it! DH has looked at it and it wouldn’t make much difference to LTV or anything useful to us right now.

beanielou

10k is 10k.  If they want to pay that off your mortgage let them.
If nothing else it will reduce the amount you repay slightly when you come off your fix.
Obviously I take your point that they should not dictate what the money should be spent on but at least it's 10k less to repay.

beanielou

PS I agree, they don't seem to be fond of the idea of grandkids.