Sashybo - Back Again

Bluegreen143

Hey, good job doing your SOA. It’s a brilliant idea to let other people have a wee look at it as sometimes another pair of eyes really helps! 

I’ve redone your budget as I would do it with notes below. Some things I’ve cut and others I’ve increased because I’m not sure your amounts are realistic. Feel free to ignore any suggestions which don’t suit! 

Interestingly your household income is similar to ours and same family size so I just looked at your budget as if it were ours - you do have higher bills though and debt makes it tricky. I really think if you snowball your debt and only focus on one at a time you’ll see the pressure on your budget reducing so much.

INCOME £3,800 min

NEEDS £2,487.05

Mortgage £729.53

Council tax £289

Life & home ins £48.79

Car ins £32.61

Internet £47.99

Food £500

Household & pets £100

Diesel £100

Estate factor fees £10

Car loans £383.59

Garage loan £155.84

Car pot £60

Cat pot £30

WANTS £742.69

Phones £20.40

Union fees £9.04

TV license £13.25

Kids (inc swimming) £100

House £40

Birthdays £100 (inc party)

Christmas £50

Personal allowances £200

Amazon subscription £10

Family fun £200

SAVINGS £570.26

Credit card 1 £17.60

Credit card 2 £75.38

Overdraft £427.28 (cancel this once cleared)

Emergency fund £50

• as soon as your overdraft is cleared moved to pouring all that money into card one, clear it then move to card 2

Cancel:

• bank account fee
• window cleaners
• veg box & milkman
• bin cleaner 
• mortgage overpayments - it’s not sensible with this amount of debt

Check:

• is your council tax over 10 months & can you make it 12?
• can you reduce your internet? Mine is £25 a month and fast enough to work from home
• I think there’s room to reduce your grocery bill; we spend similar but without the milkman & fruit/veg box - but I know it would be possible to cut down
• do you need two cars? This seems a bit of an expense? Or can you sell OH’s or both cars for something cheaper? Our car is LEZ compliant, we bought it this year for £8k. Our income is virtually identical to yours and same family size, I wouldn’t consider nearly £400 per month as affordable for us to pay for cars. But appreciate as you work shifts maybe the cars are essential.
• I’m not sure your birthday/Christmas amount or personal allowances are realistic, your kids pot may be too low and you have no pot for entertainment and family fun. Guessing this is where your missing money disappears to? I’ve increased these pots as better to budget for it realistically than go over budget each month
• Do you not get child benefit, or is your OH’s income too high? 
• No holiday pot; will you be away at all? What about travel to visit family or things like that?

You ought to get one month a year where you get double pay. I’ve worked out the above without accounting for this so there should eventually come a time when your paid but all your bills til the next pay are still covered and so you have extra to put to debt that month. The trick is you need to be ahead so that extra pay is bonus whereas right now you’re in arrears and using your overdraft to bridge the gap.

I’ve not accounted for overtime or Sunday pay so this should also be extra money. 

sashybo

Thanks for the input Bluegreen, it’s helpful to see what others think. I know there are things I’ve missed out or forgotten so it’s also helpful that way.

I’ll have a think about the suggestions to cancel. I have been considering at least reducing the fruit & veg box to once every 4 weeks as it’s nice to have the variety & quality but it’s expensive and we aren’t using everything.

The bin cleaner & window cleaners are mainly because we’re time poor. DH would always say he would do these things and never do it because most weeks he is working 7 days, sometimes 9 in a row and I didn’t/couldn’t do it either so paid people to do it instead. 

The milkman is a hard one as we do like it and it’s good quality. It’s more of a want isn’t it.

The bank account fee is something I’ve brought up with DH before and he always says we won’t get breakdown cover/travel insurance & phone insurance cheaper separately. I need to look into that.

sashybo

The council tax is over 10 months, will look into 12.

The internet is a fairly new contract, unsure how long it runs for as DH set it up. I think it’s so expensive as he went for top of the range fibre. It’s something he won’t compromise on as our connection was rubbish before and he’s into tech in a big way.

Food is a big problem, we are rubbish at meal planning. Do ok for a bit then get bored plus shifts get in the way leading to tiredness/can’t be bothered laziness.

Unfortunately we do need the 2 cars due to shift work. We both start & finish at times when there is no other transport and often cross paths with shift times so couldn’t share 1 car either.

DH could have bought a (much) cheaper car but didn’t due to his spendaholic “I deserve it” attitude. There’s no way I’ll persuade him to part with the car unfortunately.

You’re right about the kids pot being too low, anything is a start with Christmas as this year I mostly funded it with survey money and the odd amount from joint funds and it wasn’t enough. Birthdays probably do need to be higher, we have birthdays nearly every month as my side of the family is quite big.

Entertainment/family fun is a pot that I don’t have but probably should. If the personal allowances were bigger then DH could use his for socialising as he goes out more than me and just takes money from the joint account or uses the spending CC (his favourite). 

We don’t get child benefit as DH earns too much. 🫤 We used to claim it but DH’s wage went up after DD was born and he got stung with a large bill and we had to pay it back. We could still claim but DH would have to do self assessment every year and he’s not willing to do that.

Holiday is another pot I forgot about, we haven’t had a holiday since before DS was born, so nearly 6 years now. We were hoping to even get a long weekend somewhere next year but I don’t know how. Shift work also doesn’t help as we are given our holiday blocks rather than being able to choose them. I’m usually working when DH is off and vice versa.

Also forgot that it’s DH’s 40th in February and we have no money for that either. 🙁

Bluegreen143

@sashybo I just want to give you a big hug. Your income is good but the issue is your debt is robbing you so you don’t get the benefit of your good income.

Thats why I think I’d choose to really prioritise 6-9 months of strict budgeting, dropping a lot of the little non essentials. In 9 months if you used something similar to the budget I’d posted, you’d have a few hundred £ in an emergency fund, be out your overdraft, have paid off credit card one and have made good headway on the second one (plus I think your garage loan is due to be paid up next year?). That’s not including overtime etc so you may be even better off. Then you’d be in a good position to re-evaluate and maybe add some of the extras back in. Once both cards and garage loan are gone you’ll have a lot more breathing room in your budget. Maybe thinking if it as only 9 months of hard work will help? 

I really want you to succeed so I’m going to give you a tiny bit of tough love here (please don’t ban me from your diary!! You’re free to take or leave my advice of course 😘).

Your mindset that you’re time poor has you justifying expenses which I don’t think you need. We also have two young kids, DH works full time and I work 26 hours a week. Yes I mainly work from home and DH doesn’t do overtime or shifts. But the flipside is that I never have any daytimes without the kids unless I’m working, I don’t take time off in the school term time as save it for the holidays and my only weekday off is Fridays when DD is with me - and we don’t have much family help. So I’m going to gently challenge you that I still don’t think all the little conveniences are needed even though yes you are busy as a working mum.

1. Windows can be cleaned occasionally, they don’t need cleaned monthly. You can do it with your kids. If you can’t manage the top ones then get someone in but wait til you’ve done those 9 hard months - if you clean the insides they won’t look too bad and what’s 9 months of slightly dirty windows versus a new outlook on saving that will get you debt free?

2. Bin cleaning service - again, this just doesn’t need done regularly enough to warrant paying for it. DH gets out there maybe twice a year with bleach and rubber gloves. 

(The above goes for things like car washing too if you pay for that).

We have a policy of insourcing everything we can - all DIY/redecorating, cleaning, cooking, haircuts, making greetings cards etc.

How I manage is firstly by lowering standards a bit - the house doesn’t need to look like it’s from a magazine! 

And secondly I get the kids to help us with everything. We don’t go many family days out (except walks/parks) but instead use that time at the weekends to do projects together, whether it’s family cleaning time or baking or painting walls or digging in the garden or whatever. The kids will help then run off to play then help again - they know the rule is they are welcome to go play whenever they get bored of helping but not to be disruptive. I know mine are a wee bit older than yours but we’ve been doing this since they were toddlers. It frees up so much time versus trying to use your precious child free time for these chores. 

Other thoughts…

If you think you’d be entitled to some child benefit if OH did a tax return, can you do it for him? Yes he “should” do it himself, but if you do it then the deal is you choose how to budget the money 😜 we get £145 every four weeks which is helpful!

I really also would think really carefully on the milk and veg box (and convenience food in your groceries), I think these are luxuries you can’t afford while in debt. You can stop them for a few months and reinstate if you miss them. I used to use both these services but honestly the extra money in my pocket makes a big difference. 

Once you have a bit of flex in your budget, after your credit card/overdraft debts are paid off, it’s worth saving towards car replacement maybe? I do think this is the biggest hole in your budget, but you know you need two cars, so if you could borrow less (or nothing) next time you change car that would be a great start in keeping your monthly expenses lower.

sashybo

Thanks again Bluegreen, I do appreciate the time you’ve taken to reply in such detail.

I was actually talking to DH last night about cancelling the bin cleaner as I could do it myself now that DD is at nursery & DS is at school. It’s only really the garden/food waste & general waste bins that need cleaning semi regularly anyway.

I’ll definitely reduce the veg box to 4 weekly with a view to cancelling altogether. DH doesn’t want to cancel the milkman or window cleaners so that’s something to review.b

DH always pays for car washing because to be honest he just can’t be bothered doing it himself. He used to always do it himself but stopped after we had the kids saying he didn’t have time. He’s very all or nothing with things so he wants to do every little detail like waxing etc rather than just a quick wash. I hardly ever bother washing my car to be honest.

I can’t go too quickly or DH will freak out & rebel like a teenager and start spending madly again.

I honestly don’t know if we’d be entitled to any child benefit at all. I’m wary of claiming anything as don’t want to be hit by another big bill. 🫤 Something to look into.

A car replacement fund would be a good idea. The car I use now is almost 10 years old and still fine but things could start going wrong.

Bluegreen143

Sounds like you’re making some really positive steps! DH will probably take longer to get on board but by going at his pace hopefully he sees the benefits and comes on board quickly - you may find he actually starts to come up with his own money saving ideas 🤞🏼 I think if you are both motivated 2023 could be a great year for making progress.

sashybo

Thanks Bluegreen, I have actually just emailed and cancelled the veg box altogether. It’s a lot of money that we don’t have to spend right now.

DancingInTheRain

Hi well done on doing your SOA again and seeing where you stand. There's no question you've got a challenge ahead of you but you can do it, as you have in the past. At least now you have everything written down you'll have the opportunity to see where you want to focus in the new year.

Totally hear you on having to drag DH along, as you know my DH is very similar, it's tricky to manage.
@Bluegreen143 has given some amazing advice in her posts, so much so I'm currently reflecting on mine and DH's budget (again!), however whatever steps you take, we'll all be here offering support 💪 xx

sashybo

Thanks Dancing, it’s definitely helped getting it all down in black & white. It’s all a work in progress, hopefully we can finally get ourselves out of our bad habits.

sashybo

DD was sick twice this morning, once in her bed and once on the living room floor. 😩 She’s still not feeling great but hasn’t been sick since around 10. Fingers crossed she hasn’t got another bug.

DS still not feeling great and coughing madly. Another quiet day for them at home although my sister & nieces dropped in with some presents for them.

Have managed to get the icing onto my Christmas cakes, do a couple of washings (including the sicky bed sheets 🤢) and clean the bathrooms.

Hoping to get some of the veg for Christmas Day cooked today & tomorrow. Going to start with the red cabbage, carrots & parsnips later. Then it will be potatoes & Brussels sprouts tomorrow I think.

Used up some leeks that have been kicking about the freezer for ages and made leek & potato soup with DH yesterday. Made a double batch so we had enough for lunch today as well and still some left over.