Sashybo - Back Again

alipops1986

Sorry to hear about your Mum, Sashybo. 

Could you speak with work and see if they could swap around your shifts to days/times that would work well for you while you're Mum is unwell? If you think that's not going to work, would being off due to the stress of the circumstances help in anyway? That would be dependent on whether you'd get sick pay, but it seems really unfair in the circumstances for work not to support and for you then to go without pay, especially at this time of year. 

sashybo

Thanks alipops, I don’t need childcare for a week atm due to working job share & DH being off on the days I’m working this week.

I might be able to get one of my older nieces to fill in for one late shift cover next Sunday if my mum’s not well enough then I’ll have another week to see what’s happening. 

I could speak to work and try and swap some shifts. Sometimes they can be helpful but other times they can be funny about it.

I’m just panicking as don’t know what is going to happen. I’m so aware of how reliant I am on her in regards to my shift work and the kids are just too young to be left.

beanielou

Your poor mum & poor you. Hope your mum is on the mend soon. 

jwil

Hope your Mum is ok

sashybo

Thanks all, mum ended up being stuck in the hospital for a week then chucked out with minimal information and told she was on the outpatient waiting list to see a neurosurgeon. We’ve since found out she’s on the urgent waiting list with a waiting time of 54 weeks. 😱

Unsurprisingly she has been freaking out and not feeling great. I’ve had a lot of hassle with work and had to get the union involved. They agreed to let me come in late for 2 early shifts so  I could drop the kids off at school. Then turned round afterwards and said I needed to work the hours back or lose the pay. 

I was then told I needed to apply for flexible working and fill out a form, lots of stress, I just wanted to swap my affected shifts for 2/3 months. 

Eventually had a 10 minute discussion with a manager (when one finally decided to do their job - all too scared to take responsibility and agree things incase higher ups have an issue with it) and have agreed to swap my affected shifts until the end of February then see where we are at that point in terms of childcare.

So that’s good but also a bit rubbish as I need to work all of DH’s rest days so we won’t really see much of each other.

My brother & sister have also not been great as both have barely seen my mum or made much effort with her. I just hope she doesn’t have to wait the full 54 weeks for an initial appointment with the consultant.

jwil

Sorry your work aren't being helpful, it just adds to the stress.  I hope the appointment comes through much sooner than that.

sashybo

Thanks jwil, DH said I should just get signed off with stress. Work really made a mess of it when I wasn’t asking for much. I have worked there for 15 years and was made to feel like an inconvenience and that I was asking too much. They seem to bend over backwards for other people though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Christmas was good, not as stressful as previous years as the kids didn’t get up until after 7am. My mum stayed overnight on Christmas Eve so DD went into see her at 5:30am rather than me. 🫢 She did go back to sleep though.

My brother came up for an hour or so early afternoon on Christmas Day with his oh & kids. It was nice to see them but busy. My mum was very tired so went home about half 6.

I was working until 23rd, then DH was in 24th and back Boxing Day and finished today until 2nd Jan. I’m working late shift tomorrow then back on the 4th. We’re all over the place with these shifts.

Kids have been bickering like mad, I can’t wait until they’re back at school. 🤣 DS has been enjoying the Indiana Jones films on tv, DD not so impressed. 😂

I have been exercising (mix of strength training, core & yoga) but a bit lazy with my runs. Still trying to get out once a week and  managed 8.6km on one of my runs which is the furthest I’ve ever managed. That was pushing it though from the usual 6/7km so I’m going to stick with 8km and up the distance a bit more slowly.

alipops1986

Sashybo, I think you're OH is right to do that, should you need further support once the current agreement ends. You shouldn't have to, but once you've been off sick they have to be seen to support you to return. 

Sun_Addict

That’s shocking of work to treat you like that when you’ve been a good employee 😡 They should have a lot more empathy. 

I hope your mum’s appointment comes through quicker than predicted. 

beanielou

Poor show from work & 54 weeks for an urgent neurologist appointment is bang out of order. 

Go off sick.