Sashybo - Back Again

sashybo

Some photos from our trip away, we were staying in a lodge on a farm in Somerset and our lodge was in the woods. There were lots of animals for the kids to pet & feed, donkeys, horses, rabbits, goats, alpacas, guinea pigs & emus!

We went on a few day trips, photos above are Lyme Regis & Charmouth beach. The first photo was the verandah of our lodge.

DancingInTheRain

Great photos, looks lovely!

jwil

Lovely photos! Down in my neck of the woods.

sashybo

It was a lovely area and we were lucky with the weather for most of the week. We really enjoyed the break although it didn’t stop both kids having meltdowns several times.

Had a really bad week with DD last week, she had some terrible meltdowns, mainly at bedtime and was hitting, kicking & screaming because I said no more stories one night & the next night the meltdown was over wanting both me & DH in with her but DH was dealing with poor DS who is always abandoned due to her behaviour.

I’m really starting to think there’s something else going on with her rather than just a terrible temper and acting like a brat. I have thought for a while that she’s masking at school & activities as she is so well behaved there but has these terrible screaming meltdowns over silly (to me) things when she’s at home. She just loses it and can’t seem to stop. ☹️

She has been hard work since she was around 3 and still doesn’t sleep through the night, she’ll be 7 this year. DH & I dread taking her places as she usually kicks off. 🫤 She can be an angel but as soon as things don’t go her way or we’re out of routine the meltdowns start.

I think she might need to be assessed for autism or adhd. I can see some of her behaviour corresponding with online checklists but not all. She’s very sociable and talkative so I’m leaning more towards adhd but I really don’t know. She’s not inattentive or hyper either. Maybe she’s just badly behaved. 😳 School haven’t picked up on anything and she’s doing well academically.

Have had a look and the NHS waiting lists for assessment are apparently 3-5 years here. Looked at private assessments and they are roughly £1k! A lot of the clinics have a pre-assessment which tells you if there is likely a neurodevelopmental issue and whether it’s worth paying for a full assessment. This is still £150-250 but now considering it.

I’m worried she’s going to hit puberty and still be having these meltdowns at home and then start to have them at school too. She’s going to be a tall girl and is already very strong with long legs so it hurts when she attacks me. DH, DS & my mum are also frequently attacked when she’s in one of her rages depending on who is in range. We try so hard to keep her calm & happy but can’t always predict what will set her off. It’s exhausting.

beanielou

£200 for a pre-assessment sounds like money well spent to me. 🤗

DancingInTheRain

I agree with Beanie and from how you describe her behaviour it does sound like there may be something out of her control causing the outbursts, must be exhausting for her as well as you all 💗

ArtyJ931

I haven’t read much about your daughter but “well behaved at school and massive meltdowns at home” sounds very much like it’s worth considering whether you are seeing a typical female presentation of autism (where there are no learning difficulties or other things alongside).

it is money well spent for sure - schools are not ever so good at picking up the masking girls early on so I wouldn’t be particularly put off by that either.

Sun_Addict

My DD has just been diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the age of 39. It explains the way she behaved as a child and how she still is now. I always felt she was ‘different’ but it wasn’t a known thing back in the 90s.

jwil

My DD was diagnosed with autism and adhd last year (Yr4/5) after being referred in Yr1. If you want to go NHS it's definitely worth starting the process sooner rather than later so that she can get the support as she gets older. Have you tried speaking to the school at all? Mine have been great and it was them that suggested the referral. But even without a diagnosis they put support in place. She's done ELSA a couple of times which has helped a lot with managing her emotions. https://www.elsa-support.co.uk/what-is-elsa-intervention/. If she can get some support at school, you might find the out of school meltdowns reduce. My DD is great academically, and very well behaved at school. She's very articulate around adults so it's not obvious at all.

Willowtree222

My DD is also diagnosed ASC. The most perfect model student in school, home was a different story. I did go private but that was because girls present differently and school were not supportive at all because they didn't see that behaviour.

I found creating a log helped me to explain it when she got diagnosed. They immediately saw things I hadn't and now she has a huge amount of support. I also found she did settle more when she got older. We still have meltdowns but her awareness of why and my knowledge of how she likes to be supported has worked. It took me years to get there, but we have found strategies now.