Sashybo - Back Again

sashybo

Thanks guys, yes the overdraft has to go. DH will take some convincing because it’s a crutch. 

We kept increasing it because our pay date changes due to it being 4 weekly and obviously we were overspending and then didn’t have enough to pay the bills when they came out monthly.

We need to have the money working properly for us so we don’t need the overdraft. I may be able to convince him to lower it over time, it’s too easy to go into it.

Once we’ve saved up for DS’s birthday party that £50 can also go towards the CC’s as well actually. 🤔

Willowtree222

A lot of debt becomes a crutch. Once your DH sees it as for what it is, he’ll hopefully see it differently x

beanielou

I am not sure that your OH will ever change so it seems that it's up to you to get the OD away. Sorry    xx

sashybo

Thanks Willow & Beanie, I did mention lowering the overdraft limit to test the water and he seemed ok about it. I then said once we have the budget working properly we might even be able to get rid of it altogether and he didn't say much either way. 🤷‍♀️ 

Just a case of waiting to see what we're being paid, I'm unsure due to Sundays & double time atm. Hopefully some extra can go to the lower BT CC but not sure due to the massive spending CC bill.

DH wants some new boots (tbf his last pair are knackered and lasted him about 10 years!) but they cost £180. I told him he'll have to save his allowance up towards them and also he may well get some money for his birthday so that could go towards them too. Not sure he was too chuffed but he agreed not to buy them. I know the boots will be worn and will last so the price per wear will be worth it over time but we just can't afford it right now.

He has also started bringing up wanting a C0stco membership because the fuel is roughly 10p cheaper per litre there. It costs £33 for an annual membership, I told him we can think about it. It's a case of monkey see, monkey want because his friend has just got one. I'm not sure if it will be worth it. 🤔 

I have added all our current food spends up so far since our last spending CC statement and we are at £256 so not too bad. Forgot to mention that we are getting one last veg box delivery as I missed their 14 day cancellation notice period by 1 day. 😡 So that's another £19.99 coming out next week.

The kids spent most of the day with my mum, it was nice to have a break from them. I changed their bed sheets, put one washing away, hung one up on the heated airer and then got the towels on.

I also sorted out some stuff that wasn't selling on v!nted and have removed it and added it to the charity bag. I have more to go on but haven't sorted photos yet, I have a lot of cloth nappies to sell but have to be careful as technically they don't allow you to sell them. I have had a few listings removed already, don't know why some are deleted and others aren't. 🤔 I have bought & sold quite a few pre-loved cloth nappies on there so they obviously don't police it strictly but I don't want my account to be closed.

I want to go through the kids toys tomorrow to tidy them (and stop my living room resembling a toy shop) and maybe convince the kids to part with any they don't play with anymore. 

beanielou

Can your DH's friend not get him a card for Costalot?
I used to have one as my friend had one.

sashybo

I don’t know Beanie but will have a look. 🤔

DH is now wanting to book a holiday to centerparcs in February with the kids. 🤦🏻‍♀️  He is definitely a spendaholic. 

Outwith not having any money to pay for a holiday or any spending money for it, it’s difficult for us to get anything booked as both DH & I are allocated holiday blocks. We have to swap to get the same ones, which we haven’t managed to do for years. I can put in for lieu days during his leave as I only work 2 days a week but my department won’t guarantee them until a week before!! What use is that?

We won’t be able to afford anything during the summer holidays so can understand why DH is looking in February but we.have.no.money. to book anything. I’m going to get the “we haven’t had a holiday for years” spiel/guilt trip next. 

I would love to go and the kids would love it but it would cost a lot of money we don’t have. 😔

CRANKY40

Tell him that if he hadn't spent £2.5k on the credit card you might have been able to use the money that his parents gave you to go on holiday. Center parcs in February is cold and wet. We went when my son was 16 months old because my late husband worked 4 months on (big grey ships) and 12 weeks off. Our son was too small for all the play areas which was just as well because it snowed so they were unusable. Good luck with telling him no. 

enthusiasticsaver

Oh dear I do feel for you with the constant demands from your OH.  It does not sound like his parents instilled good money discipline in him.  It is nice of them to give you the £2k but as you say you have the overdraft and the credit card and he is obviously seeing this gift as the magic money tree for his birthday and whatever else he thinks he needs.  I had the same discussion with my OH today who goes through money like water and cannot understand why I have money to pay our for new IPads/phones etc when needed and a healthy personal savings balance.  It is simply because he thinks if the money is there he has to spend it.  The concept of saving and waiting for something is new to him and maybe it is the same for your OH.  The instant gratification of buying immediately on the credit card and overdraft is fine for him as he does not deal with the consequences as it is you worrying about how it is going to be paid. 

I would strongly recommend the removal of the overdraft and move your DH away from using credit cards at all. Only when he realises there is no crutch will he learn to walk without the support of credit. 

Bluegreen143

I was thinking the same - if he hadn’t spent £2.5k on the CC you could have used that money for a holiday!

I do think family holidays are worthwhile but realistically it’s not affordable for you atm especially with his recent overspending. So frustrating he can’t see it. A shame you are left feeling like the bad guy when you are actually being responsible.

We didn’t have any holidays for the first few years after having kids (as I was a SAHM we couldn’t afford it) except once when my mum paid for us all to go away together for a big birthday of hers. So I do get why he’s feeling down about it as I remember wishing for one at the time. But I think you are being really sensible and once you’ve made headway on the debt it would be the better time to book.

sashybo

Thanks guys, to be fair “only” 1k of the 2.5 was DH’s overspending, the rest was food, takeaways, lunches etc. 

Anyway, I suspect I haven’t heard the last of this holiday idea. DH gets a bit dog-with-a-bone and tries to wear me down. 🫤 The constant whining & moaning is like having another child sometimes.

The most recent overspending was because I was tired of always having to say no and just let him get on with it. See how well that worked out. 

I went through all the kids toys & books today and sorted & tidied them. Some went upstairs to the kids rooms and the rest have a place to be stored in the living room.

I have a small bag of books & toys that are too young for them. Will ask my sister if she wants any for her grandson & the rest can go in the next charity bag.

I think DS will need a small table or something in his room to play with his lego on. Can’t be a desk as it wouldn’t fit in his room and we have to try & get a wardrobe in there as well this year (once we have the money). His is the only room without a built in wardrobe.

I have washed & dried the kids bed sheets that I stripped yesterday and done another load, just need to hang it up.

Ideally would like to strip my own bed and get those sheets washed too.

Have given the bathroom sinks & toilets a quick wipe and cleaned the kitchen worktops & hob.