Sashybo - Back Again

Bluegreen143

Oh no, there’s so much going about just now, both mine have been ill this week too. Hope there’s no more vomiting!

Well done on getting organised and I like your plan to start on the Christmas cooking early. I may do the same tomorrow.

beanielou

Have a lovely time when it comes.
Relax & enjoy 

DancingInTheRain

Hope the children feel better soon, well done on being organised with the food prep

Sun_Addict

You’ve had some brilliant advice there from Bluegreen, plenty of food for thought. 

When my kids were very young they were always poorly at Christmas. 2 years running they were at the emergency doctor on Christmas Eve with ear infections. Hope they feel better soon.

sashybo

Thanks all, have only managed to get the red cabbage sorted so will get the carrots, parsnips & sprouts sorted tomorrow.

I can’t make the dessert in advance as it’s a self saucing pudding but can make the sponge mixture up so I just need to add liquids.

Unfortunately there was more vomit after dinner. 😭 DD projectile vomited in 2 separate areas on the living room floor followed by DS also on the living room floor. He hasn’t eaten much all day though, mainly toast, so there wasn’t much of his. 

I just stood there surrounded by piles of sick thinking why is this my life. 😩 Luckily DH was at home so he cleaned up the floor while I cleaned up the kids, gave them medicine & got them ready for bed.

I’ve had a sore stomach all day so just hoping I don’t start spewing next. Also praying that neither child spews all over their bed in the middle of the night. 😭 

Hopefully both kids will be ok tomorrow, DS is all excited for Christmas, poor lamb.

Moneywhizz

Sorry to hear about the kids being sick. How is it that children are often ill at Christmas time. Maybe too much excitement and socialising when all the bugs get passed round. My two young grandchildren are exactly the same. have been reading your recent posts. You have made a good start in addressing some things that can free up some money towards paying down your debt and Bluegreen gave some great advice, being in the same position as you with two young children and juggling work and family with all the demands that comes with that. I see your difficulty, though, in that your husband spends from  your joint account and no matter how you balance your budget just one spend of his could scupper all your planning. There's two things that I think you need to do even though it may take you longer to get rid of the debt. First is to negotiate with him a realistic amount for his personal spending that would be enough to stop him from randomly taking money from the joint account. He really would have to agree though that when there is not going to be any more money for him to use when his money runs out. My other advice would be, as Bluegreen suggested,  to clear the overdraft as quickly as possible so that you can get a grip of your budget. If you are being charged for it, is it possible to use an interest free credit card to pay it off and then close off the overdraft so that it is no longer available to use for "emergencies". It may be a good thing too, to show your husband that once you pay your outgoings there is actually no money left over to use for unnecessary spends. Hope the children are better today and can enjoy Christmas. 

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry to hear the kids are sick and hopefully just a 24 hour thing and they will be ok tomorrow.

You have had some great advice and looks like you are going to really make an impact on clearing some of the debt next year. I would agree personal allowances are the way to go if you have a financially relaxed partner. My husband is one too. He could not understand why I stressed out over the credit card being used (we never did overdrafts thank goodness) but you start on a negative the following month as the credit card has to be paid before you start living expenses for the current month. Separate personal accounts and allowances are the way to go. Now we have £400 each but we started with £50 when money was tight. Originally we split monthly spare disposable income three ways, one third for each of us and one third for family but now our kids are grown up we get more. 

I would address the overdraft urgently especially as they charge 40% interest generally. 

sashybo

The good news is that no one was sick all over their beds last night. 🎉 DD still not great but no sick yet either, hoping she’ll be ok, she’s been constantly ill since starting nursery. 😭 

Both kids are getting super excited about Santa now which is lovely.

Thanks for the thoughts Moneywhizz & enthusiasticsaver. I agree that the overdraft needs to go, we’re being charged at least £20 pm just for the privilege of being in it too! Another forgotten item for the budget. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

A 0% CC for the overdraft is worth a think, although I worry that it would just be another payment & DH would just start merrily spending again as we didn’t have an overdraft (in his mind). If I could convince him to behave (and face reality) then it would definitely be a good thing.

I do also agree that a realistic personal allowance each but especially for DH is a must then he can socialise etc without taking random cash amounts out of the joint account. I think this, along with random CC spending is really tripping us up. 

The CC bill that needs to be paid out of our next pay is £2.5K which is totally horrifying. This is the result of DH’s emotional spending on top of extra Christmas spends and our normal food spending.

I could have cried when he told me how much it was and even he looked a bit shocked. I feel like January is going to be a write off. 😔 I do have £110 left of my Christmas savings so obviously that can go towards the CC but it’s not much help. 

I need to look at the statement to see where most of the spending happened. DH is the main cardholder though so I need him to give me access to the statement as I can only see my own spending. Not helpful. 

Moneywhizz

Would your husband agree to you taking over the finances completely and giving you all the cards so that he can't spend without you knowing. If he has his own allowance he either in a separate account or cash then he would only be able to spend his agreed amount. It is so difficult trying to stick to a joint budget unless you are both completely on board with it. Sounds like he is always going to be a spender so giving up access to the accounts is the only way to solve this. I can understand that this is difficult since he is the main earner and probably thinks he has the right to treat himself because he works hard and earns a good wage, but realistically you have a family together with all the expenses that comes with that and there just isn't enough money for him to continue to spend randomly. 
The only other way to manage it is to separate your money and both make a contribution to the household bills based as a percentage of your income. This would cover only essential household bills and everything else would have to be paid from what you have left over. Maybe he wouldn't be so keen to buy himself expensive cars if he had to pay for it out of his own money. 
I know we are only hearing your side of how things work and maybe we are being too hard on your husband but either he needs to face up to the situation and work with you or you both need to find another way of dealing with it. As it is you are going round in circles and not really getting anywhere. 
Maybe things to think about for after Christmas. Have a lovely time. 

beanielou

Once the overdraft is gone I would suggest lowering the limit to a nominal amount