Sashybo - Back Again

theoldmansmrs

sashybo said:

. 😂 I also need to order more name stickers for all his clothes/shoes/bags etc.

I have been reading your diary from the start (have got to this part) and thought I would mention "name dots".

I used them for my mom when she was in care home; they are little plastic tags that you personalise. They take seconds to put on and can be re-used. I may be a little late to the party with the idea as I still have some reading to do to get up to date.

It may not save you much time over the years but with how busy you are, and the advert says "every little helps" :-)

sashybo

Thanks theoldmansmrs I haven’t heard of those they sound ideal, will have a look.

Well I’m feeling very down today as our debt total is basically going to double. DH needs to get a new(er) car to comply with the low emission zone that’s coming into effect next June. He needs to drive into the city centre as a shift worker and the fines are horrendous so we need to get another car.

The outlaws pretended they were going to help by giving DH the majority of the money but actually it was a loan with interest! Then they decided it would be 0% but wanted more p/m than we could afford and more than an actual loan would cost monthly! 🤷🏻‍♀️ They didn’t care when DH said we can’t afford your repayment terms and will have to get a loan instead then.

So we have had to apply for a loan and I’m just totally gutted. Our debt repayments are going to go through the roof and that’s not even adding on the increase in prices for everything. 

I don’t understand the outlaws, they can obviously afford to help or they wouldn’t offer the money but won’t loan it because we can’t afford the exact terms they set. 

So know we’re having to get into even more debt. No doubt they’ll tell us we “just need to cut back” and it’s all our own fault anyway. Or the other favourite which is “well you chose to have kids”. 😑

I think we’re being punished for DH not taking DS down over the summer when DD & I weren’t invited. 

beanielou

I loathe your outlaws with a passion.
Sadly you could very well be right re DS & & DH.
Just a horrid & unacceptable way to carry on.
On so many levels 

DancingInTheRain

What a mean trick by the outlaws, so sorry Sashy 😞 it's just no way for them to behave and smacks of control issues.

Willowtree222

And your outlaws strike again. Makes absolutely no sense at all. 

My dad has loaned me money in the past. No terms, no interest just ‘pay it back when you can’ 
x

sashybo

Thanks all, they are just horrible people and money is the only way they think they can control DH. I have told him never to ask them for anything again and not to discuss our finances with them.

DH did say he was just asking a question about the size of their car (brand new, paid in full) as he was looking at the size up for us. Then after saying he needs to change cars due to low emission zone & fines etc, they “offered to help”.

I was crying in rage yesterday because I foolishly thought they actually wanted to help us. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t just ask how much we could afford to pay back every month. I would never do that to my kids if they needed help & I could afford it! 

We are actually going to part exchange my car and I will use DH’s current car as there is no LEZ in our town (yet). DH can then use the ULEZ compliant car to drive into the city centre for work when he needs to.

We are spending quite a lot but it will get us a bigger car with more room and it will have to do us for a good long time. Both kids are likely to be tall so we want to have decent legroom in the back as well.

It’s just so upsetting that we have no choice, we wouldn’t be replacing a car and adding to our debt if it wasn’t for this LEZ. 😕

CRANKY40

I'd start the cut backs by cutting the in laws out. They are mean, controlling and doing nothing for your dh's self esteem. They'd rather see their son suffer than help him out?   

sashybo

Yes Cranky, I would love to have nothing more to do with them. DH actually didn’t talk to them for several years & I think he was happier for it.

They would absolutely let him suffer because in their minds it’s his own fault because we don’t “cut back” enough and we “chose to have kids”.

And we’re terrible people for having debt. Oh plus the deep seated resentment that he escaped them by moving 400 miles away and they can’t control him (or me) as much as they want to.

I have told him if they ever start any of this ridiculous behaviour with the kids then they’re not seeing them.

I have already seen it starting in their preference for DS over DD, although it could be that she’s at an age they don’t enjoy. I don’t know though, I wouldn’t put anything past them.

Luckily they only really see the kids a few times a year for a few days at a time.

sashybo

In non horrible outlaw news, DH is prepping the utility room today to get it painted. Once it's done, he is going to put a shelf in there (probably next week) to keep it a bit tidier. Means we can move the baskets storing stuff away from the sink. I'm thinking some hooks underneath the shelf might be useful for towels in use but will see once it's up.

We have bought some blue paint for the living room, it's somewhere between a navy and a mid blue. It's very nice so looking forward to getting that up, although not the painting itself! After that the only area downstairs to paint will be the kitchen. 

I have bought a few more small items towards Christmas, mainly £1 stocking items like mini ponies & cars etc. Thinking of getting DD a kids echo dot for Christmas as she loves music and singing. 🤔 

I haven't seen my youngest niece to give her her birthday present yet but got her a flippable sequin owl toy and harry potter Hedwig pjs. Next birthday is my younger nephew so he will be getting a FCUK set (shower gel/body spray) and a tenner. After that I've got a few weeks until my twin nieces' birthday and my oldest nephew's 21st. 

DS has had a party invitation from school already so I will need to head out to Home Bargains/B&M to buy a suitably sparkly present for a 5 year old girl. 🤷‍♀️ 😂 Redo has also mentioned a self heating blanket that she bought for her cat so I will have a look for one of those too - Old Cat would be delighted with one in winter.

Have managed to save £110 towards a bed/mattress/bedding for DD and have £20 coming from another survey site so nearly halfway to my £300 target. Hoping to spend less but want to have enough.
 

Honeysucklelou2

Sorry to read about the in law’s behaviour. 

How is your DS enjoying school a few days in?