Sashybo - Back Again

sashybo

Thanks Beanie, in some ways it feels like a very quick 5 years. 

It was lovely & sunny yesterday for half the day so I got 3 washings out & dried. 

I also got quite a lot of DD’s too small clothes on v!nted, have already sold a dress so will get it dropped off today.

Took my car to the garage and it cost £200 to fix. 😭 We had about £70 in the car account as had lots of repairs earlier in the year for both cars. 😭

DS stayed over at my mum’s last night so will pick him up around lunchtime. My brother, his gf & my 2 younger nieces are coming over later.

Need to get the floors cleaned downstairs, bathrooms cleaned and upstairs hoovered. Will need to hang another washing up too.

sashybo

Had a nice time with my brother, his gf & the kids the other day. They are coming round again in a couple of weeks so the kids can have a picnic in the garden. Hopefully it won’t be raining!

Yesterday was pretty lazy, it was a warm day so more washing hung out & the kids played in the paddling pool. It was still a bit too cool for it so they were freezing after 10 mins. 

Today we took the kids a walk up the braes and they had good fun running about. DD was tired on the way back and needed to be carried which was pretty sore on my back. DH carried her the last half thankfully. DS then wanted carried but he’s far too lanky & heavy so he wasn’t happy.

DancingInTheRain

Belated 5th birthday wishes to your DS 
Boo to the car costs

sashybo

Thanks Dancing, ours cars seem to be falling to bits, they are both over 10 years old now though. We just can't afford to get new ones. 🤷‍♀️

DH would like to get an electric car as he will be charged £30 per day to drive into the city from next March as he has an older diesel car. He has to drive into work quite often as he starts/finishes when there is no public transport. Electric cars are just way, way out of our price range so he will effectively have to pay even more money on top of the cost of running a car for the privilege of going to work and getting back again!! I just don't know how we will afford it. 😞 

We are struggling with money again, back on the slippery slope of the overdraft. Our main problems are that we are both paid 4 weekly so different pay date every month plus bills coming out at different points through the month plus we are overspending on just about everything. 😭 We can't do away with the overdraft, again due to the payday changing all the time but bills coming out on the same dates every month.

Obviously prices going up are not going to help. DH has agreed that we need to stop top-up shops and cut out takeaways and also stop just buying "stuff".  I don't know if it will be enough. 😔 I (foolishly) asked him what he wanted for father's day from the kids and have been handed a list with £30 odd lego sets on it. 🤦‍♀️ We have no money. When I say that people look at me like yeah right because my DH is on a good wage. It's embarrassing. 

So anyway I've had to take another £2.5k 0% cash transfer from my CC to get rid of the overdraft (AGAIN) and give us enough money to pay the bills this month. We're going round in circles and I'm actually ashamed at how pathetic we are. We make so much effort to get rid of debts and then just end up back at the beginning again. I really need the old head banging off a brick wall emoji back!!

Sun_Addict

Electric cars need to come down in price if they want people to change to them, it doesn't seem fair to penalise those who can't afford them. 

When Mr SA was working, trying to juggle finances was a nightmare. He was paid weekly and you could never estimate how much he'd be paid from one week to the next as he was a sub-contractor in the building trade and it fluctuated depending on weather and job prices. If the weather was really bad or work was quiet he often didn't get paid at all! What worked in the end for me was getting a month ahead with all the bills first then look at paying off debt. When you've got young children it adds to the expenses, it's never ending. Bizarre though it may sound, we are actually better off budgeting wise now Mr SA can no longer work as I know exactly what's coming in and we don't spend what we haven't got. 

You can start with cutting out the unnecessary spends like you say and take it from there.

DancingInTheRain

Aww big hugs, you're not pathetic at all. Life is so expensive these days and as you say, it can be tricky organising finances when you aren't on the more regular monthly pay cycle. Plus juggling shift work and young kids is an art form in itself 😘

Perhaps it might be worth going back to basics and redoing a SOA and reviewing all direct debits/standing orders (even if just between you and DH and not on here) and then try to work towards having a monthly buffer in your bills account, easier said than done I know but you've done well paying down debt over the years and I'm sure you'll be able to do it again even if it's in a more long term way than you'd ideally like.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself and try not to beat yourself up too much! Xx

beanielou

It's difficult. 
Could you have a couple of tough/tight months to try to not to dip the OD & just remove it?
Would it help knowing that you did not have the OD to fall back on?

sashybo

Thanks guys, DH did go through all the direct debits/payments and cancel anything unnecessary (not much). 

He has a couple of payment plans ending in the next month or so too and has been told he’s not allowed to get any more! He has been quite bad for getting these payp@L or am@zon payment plans for higher value things he knows we can’t really afford.

One was for the replacement high back booster seat after he threw a perfectly good one away in the tip thinking it was the old baby seat I’d actually asked him to get rid of. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I still don’t believe he did that - they were completely different seats. 😐 We are still paying off the replacement! 

I feel a bit ill at the thought of not having the overdraft available which is actually mad as it’s something we seem to slip into gradually throughout the year. But we just never seem to have the money there when we need it.

I know we need to stop spending but it’s hard. DH will do well one month then start “treating” himself the next month and then say oh well the spending is going to be more than we wanted so I’ll just spend some more! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I think food is our biggest spend/waste of money. We don’t meal plan properly then end up throwing things out and buying a takeaway because we’re exhausted. I know what we need to do but just can’t seem to do it. 

This the cumulation of many years of overspending and I have perfected all the excuses. I don’t know how to fix myself never mind DH. 😕

sashybo

Also DH has now been signed off work with anxiety and I’m so tired all the time. 

I’m fed up of everything and just want to sleep for a week straight. 

beanielou

So sorry that things are so hard.
Sorry that DH has been signed off.
Do you think that you could maybe be depressed.
Would it maybe be helpful to have a wee chat with your GP?
Does your GP have Ask My GP?