Sashybo - Back Again

sashybo

Thanks Beanie, hope you enjoy your weekend as much as you can.

Just chilling out for a bit before bedtime watching Derry Girls, it's so funny. 😂 

Willowtree222

That is a really good idea about the food bank. I always buy things and then forget and get home and then always forget to take them back. I am a pain for doing that. 
That KIT day sounds like a good work day. It will be good to get some sort of normality back and maybe then get back into some kind of routine. x

sashybo

Hi Nicnak, yes the food bank thing is good, it's just new and I had seen on one of the local FB pages that Mr M's were starting to do it this way. It makes it much easier and it's obviously better for the food bank as they are getting what they need. 

My KIT day was nice, to be honest most of them will probably be similar (i.e. not a full day) as there isn't enough space for me in the office due to the social distancing guidelines but at least I'm getting back in there and getting a feel for how things are going.

I'm sure I'll catch up on my own job fine once I can get onto the desk, can't atm as social distancing and someone already rostered to cover it! I had a quick nosey whilst they were on their break though and used anti-bac cleaner on the desk/keyboard and mice afterwards.

All I've done so far today is have a shower and do the big cat litter clean out. Nappy wash is on as well. Will need to start washing and sorting out the next size up baby clothes for DD as she's nearly 9 months. I've been noticing that she's growing out of a few things. 😢 

I think I'm going to save my favourite wee dresses/outfits, will keep a few intact but look at using the rest to make memory cushion covers or maybe even a quilt - might be a bit ambitious as I'm not the best sewer but I'm sure my mum would help out. I still have a few wee things from DS so will do the same with his. At some point! The majority of clothes will still be donated so that I don't have bags and bags sitting around though. 

Need to hoover the living room and going to pick my mum up as she's coming up for a roast dinner that DH is making.

Was asking DH about the money situation for the proposed sun room and it's what I thought - the outlaws want to hold onto the money and pay the bills as they come. 👀 😱 I feel quite uneasy about this as it's even more controlling than I thought. 😭 

Our builder thinks the costing will be anywhere from 20-25k as long as we don't need steelwork but we need to wait for a structural engineer to check it out and make a decision. Apparently it also depends on what kind of roof we go for etc. So still wait and see really. 

Willowtree222

I'm afraid I would have to make it an outright no then. It's like they don't trust him or you to spend it how they want. It's not their house. 
If this is one thing, then what next? 
Can you politely decline and make it clear to DH that it isn't acceptable what they are doing? 
As nice as it would be, I just think it paves the way for the next something they want. x

sashybo

Thanks Nicnak, DH has his heart set on this sun room now. 🙄 He said they're only doing it this way so that the money isn't seen as a gift and he doesn't get hit with inheritance tax if they pop their clogs in the next 7 years. 🤷‍♀️ I suppose it does make sense as they're in their seventies but still feels a bit weird and controlling.

DH is the one who deals with them, I just don't get involved to be honest. They do try and bully him about what they want but he's pretty good at pushing back these days and saying no. Still not entirely happy but waiting to find out what the final costings would be. 

It was my mum's birthday yesterday so we all went down to visit - the house was full as my sister and her 4 kids were there plus DH & I with our 2 and my brother and his gf with their DD and dog, although my brother's stepdaughter was at her dad's.

It was really busy and DS managed to escape through a side gate into next door's garden and out their front gate which doesn't shut properly. 😱 Apparently he was running on the road - one of my older nieces saw him and managed to run after him and catch him before anything happened. Thank god she saw him and there wasn't a car coming.

Felt pretty guilty as hadn't been paying as much attention to where DS was as it was so busy and I knew my older nieces and nephews were out in the garden with DS and my younger niece. I usually watch him like a hawk and the one time I take my eye off him he escapes! 😥 

DD did really well and wasn't scared of all the people which is great, as she was very clingy and unsure of new places and people after lockdown. She loved my brother's gf and my older nephews. 😃 

Back to work again tomorrow for a few hours but then not back again until the following Wednesday. 

Willowtree222

Hope work went ok.
I think we've all had moments where we've turned around and they've gone. 
It's hard as we always think 'what if' x

Sun_Addict

My DD was a nightmare at disappearing in shops when she was little, I would just take my eye off her for a second just to get my purse or something and she’d be gone. Had some real panic moments with her. 

I’ve got a friend a lot older than me and she did something similar with her kids to avoid IHT but in your case it still seems controlling dictating what the money is spent on. 

sashybo

Thanks Nicnak & SA, it's scary how quick little kids can just run/disappear, I'm always so paranoid if DS is out in the garden and out of my sight for more than 30 seconds. Next time he's with his older cousins in my mum's garden I'll know to keep a better eye on him.

He's started wanting to climb a lot more now as well and my mum only has small fences in her back garden so that will be the next thing to watch out for. 😱 

Work was ok today, got to have a closer look at my desk as my job share partner was on it today so she didn't mind me sitting a bit closer than 2m. We were probably 1m apart for most of the time and I also had the desk to myself for half an hour whilst she was on her break. Was in for 3 hours but the manager said to put down a full day. 👏 

SA, yes the IHT excuse makes sense but it also allows the outlaws to be controlling. They just love trying to boss us around, DH will put up with it for the money though as he's used to them and doesn't really think anything of it. To be honest even if we were paying for the whole thing he would still be showing them everything and discussing it all with them and letting them poke their noses in. 🙄 

Then he moans to me about them telling him to do things a certain way or not to do this, that and the next thing. I told him to stop blinking telling them everything then!! 🤷‍♀️ He didn't, just doesn't tell me he's doing it as much but I know he is. They've conditioned him into it but at least he says no and actively disagrees with them now. Their "advice" is usually pretty stupid most of the time but thankfully DH sees that. 

When we converted the garage into a room, the outlaws moaned the whole time about everything and they weren't paying for it! DH was told it wasn't worth doing, it wouldn't add value blah blah blah. I think they were just annoyed that it was my idea and not theirs.
But now they think we need an unnecessary (although nice to have) sun room! 🤷‍♀️ 

When I got home from work today I hung the nappy washing up and put DS's washing away then finally did the ironing that's been sitting in a pile for a few months. 👀 There were 4 of DH's short sleeved shirts, 5 of his long sleeved shirts, 2 dresses, a blouse and a tunic to do. It took around an hour and I also managed to sew up a bit of a seam that had come unstitched on the back of one of the pocket nappies.

Willowtree222

I'm not sure how you cope with your in laws. X

sashybo

Nicnak, I just have as little to do with them as possible otherwise they drive me mad. I'm so glad that they don't live anywhere near us as I know they would be a million times worse then and probably appearing at the door every day as they're retired.

Whenever they do something particularly weird or annoying I do tell DH that it's not normal and he agrees. He says at least you didn't have to grow up with them, I don't know how he turned out even half normal to be honest. 😂  

As long as they're not being totally obnoxious I just have to grin and bear it when I do have to see them. I hate going to stay with them though as they're even more bossy in their own house and it just feels so suffocating. I can visibly see DH wilting under their full attention as the days go on and we're both so happy to leave. 😮

In their house DS isn't allowed to sit near the wall in the dining room in case he touches it (?!) and leaves a mark. 🙄 I'm always tempted to give him crayons and let him loose. 😂  If they start their rubbish behaviour with the kids I'm not going to stand for it but they see them so infrequently that I don't think it will be much of an issue. I'd be more concerned if they were seeing them every week. They have an opinion about everything and think we let DS watch too much tv, let him away with "bad behaviour" (i.e. just being a normal 3 year old) and that he's too noisy!!  i just roll my eyes and laugh at them - I have one of those faces that can't hide how I'm feeling anyway. 🤷‍♀️