Rock bottom, but the only way is up

Ali-OK

Hi all,

Those who remember me from previously (last on MFW) I'm back again after getting sidetracked. I met my soulmate or so I thought and everything was rosy. Well now those specs are off and I'm Miss Single again, I can see what a mess I've made of the finances and my SE job nose dived with it. Not really any going back there - it drained all my energy ultimately and I got into a bad place with it.

I have hit rock bottom over the Christmas/New Year break and just starting to lift my head out of the fog now. My outgoings are now bigger than my incomings and I'll need to do a new SOA. I'm trying to drag myself out of the mire.

There are some good things and I need to focus on those.

- I've been offered a 30 hr job, just waiting on DBS to come through. Pay is poor but it's better than nothing.

- I've got 3 new SE strands that I've got courses booked for - I'm going to be busy and working hard. 2 are online, 1 is in person.

- I'm doing new stuff to get over the ex (well, it's on hold, he isn't sure) - meditation group and back to my old stuff of exercise - gym classes and swimming.

- I've got some savings still so bills will be paid for January and February.

I stupidly (in hindisght) bought another second car - a sports one - a deja vu moment that I'm probably going to have to sell that.

Reading that, it doesn't look too bad I guess. Just tackling it all alone and trying to work it out whilst hanging on to hope with ex/worrying about money/not being able to concentrate on money, courses or anything, I feel isolated and lost.

I am grateful for lots in my life...I just can't genuinely believe yet.

I hope the wonderful community here will support, offer suggestions, share thoughts and lift my spirits too.

Phew! Glad to get it out of my head. I have to turn 2017 into a successful year somehow

Thanks for reading x

CP2016

Hi Ali, you've done the debt free thing before and you can do it again.

Good luck with making 2017 a successful year.

System

Have subscribed to your thread , we are in about the same amount of debt, hoping to get some pointers from you.

Good luck with everything.

beanielou

Hello Ali.
Remember you are ok
If anyone can do this it is you.
Keep plodding!

Seasidegal58

Hi Ali. All the best for your new diary and hope you sort things out with your OH. Have subscribed.

Ali-OK

Thanks for the lovely replies, it means a lot to be welcomed back amongst the family of DFWers.

I am starting to get my head around what I need to do and what things I still do.

Ongoing:
Inbox Pounds - up at £16.01
Daily Birthday Lotto
Lucky Phone

Freepostcodelottery - I've kinda given up on but maybe get back to it as the daily email still comes in.

To Do:
Move all my bank accounts back to one I think - I had done well to open other ones to make the interest, but due to the big drops and needing to use what bits and pieces are left in those, I think it's best to close and bring it back in one place. Will make it easier to manage.

Do SOA - I'm pretty sure we can ditch Sky now as DS seems happy with Freeview. I'm loathe to ditch the gym as I'm going to classes/swimming 3-4 times a week, but will monitor for the time being.

I did manage to write the new 99p calendar up with birthdays on for the year - one job crossed off.

I still shop at A!di and batch cook - did bolognaise and chilli over the weekend. I need to get back to meal planning.

Work and income are my biggest worries - EX stopped maintenance without notice so that's £375 a month I've lost on top. Can't chase as he's not living in the UK nor was our original agreement via CSA so no chance there.

I had an interview last week that I think went well, second ones won't know until this time next week. I've also got an interview on 11th January for a better, full time job.

Oh, I also got flashed by a speed camera when I got lost last month. Hopefully if it's not dated within 14+1 days of the offence I believe from Peppipo0 I might be able to get away on that technicality. Fingers crossed.

December really was an awful month. Things will get better, they have to!

ZTD

Ali-OK wrote: »

Hi all,

:wave:

Ali-OK wrote: »

Those who remember me from previously (last on MFW)

I remember the name, but not the avvy.

Ali-OK wrote: »

I'm back again after getting sidetracked. I met my soulmate or so I thought and everything was rosy. Well now those specs are off and I'm Miss Single again, I can see what a mess I've made of the finances and my SE job nose dived with it. Not really any going back there - it drained all my energy ultimately and I got into a bad place with it.

Wise decision.

Ali-OK wrote: »

My outgoings are now bigger than my incomings and I'll need to do a new SOA.

Don't forget that. I know it's a PITA...

Ali-OK wrote: »

- I've been offered a 30 hr job, just waiting on DBS to come through. Pay is poor but it's better than nothing.

Any pennies are to the good, and it's always a stepping stone to better.

Ali-OK wrote: »

- I'm doing new stuff to get over the ex (well, it's on hold, he isn't sure)

Are *you* sure? Sounds like he has someone, but would like a fallback position.

Ali-OK wrote: »

I stupidly (in hindisght) bought another second car - a sports one - a deja vu moment that I'm probably going to have to sell that.

If you can keep hold of it until the middle of spring, you may get more for it, it being better weather and everything. I know hearing that the british are sensitive to poor weather is like hearing about Eskimos allergic to snow - but it's true.

Ali-OK wrote: »

Reading that, it doesn't look too bad I guess. Just tackling it all alone and trying to work it out whilst hanging on to hope with ex/worrying about money/not being able to concentrate on money, courses or anything, I feel isolated and lost.

:grouphug:

You will get through it.

Ali-OK wrote: »

I am grateful for lots in my life...I just can't genuinely believe yet.

It will come.

Ali-OK wrote: »

I'm loathe to ditch the gym as I'm going to classes/swimming 3-4 times a week, but will monitor for the time being.

Normally the advice to people is to ditch the gym because they're usually not using it. But if you're using it - then go. It'll keep you out of bus shelters with a bottle of White Lightning - if nothing else.

Ali-OK wrote: »

Oh, I also got flashed by a speed camera when I got lost last month.

Going fast while lost makes you loster, not founder...

Ali-OK wrote: »

December really was an awful month. Things will get better, they have to!

New year, new future. :T

stepuptothepl8

Hi Ali

It's lovely to see you posting again, although I am sorry to hear about ex-OH and the financials.. You've done it once, and I know you can do it again. Subscribing xx

Eager_Elephant

Hi Ali


Welcome back to the DFW fold - I was so hoping you had disappeared into the sunset with a hunky man and I am sad to see it has not worked out like that.


As someone else said - you have done this all before so you can do it again.


Its great that you have a job as at least you have some income - could you claim Tax Credits or was your income in 15/16 too high (it goes on previous years income). if it was too high maybe 16/17 will be lower and then you can claim after 6/4/17?


Good Luck

Ali-OK

Thank you even more from the depths of my heart :A Means so much to have replies with your support and strength.

ZTD - very good points there. Key one is the new 30 hr job I don't have a start date for, so no job at the moment. I am unemployed :eek:

Food for thought on the ex and a good plan with the Spring and sports car. I will wait it out as long as I can.

The speeding was a stupid mindless moment - I'd taken a wrong turn in a new road layout and gone through the camera under the limit on a villagey type road. Turned around and followed another car and flash. Reading that back, I guess it could have been the car infront? :think: Another wait and see.

EE :rotfl: I also thought I was riding off into the sunset with the love of my life! Big hard bump back down to earth again now!

Thanks for the tax credits reminder too - I earnt too much to claim 15/16 but 16/17 looks like I might be entitled. I will look at this in more detail.

Feeling much brighter today and already done a few DFW things:

- Gone through birthday card stash and written 5 cards for January. I'd normally buy kids ones from C@rdfair with ages on, but not this month. Hanging onto the pennies.

- Emailed someone in my network who was looking at my CV for me, chasing up for feedback

- Been contacted by someone that is starting a new business and has asked me if I'd like to take on Area 2 (they're doing Area 1 to start). They've successfully got one business already and I've a long standing business relationship with them. It'd probably be late Spring though before we get going.

- Bank account checked and someone is looking down on me and helping as I've received £375 in maintenance from DS's Dad this morning :T. Thank you, thank you.

- I've seen a good job to apply for at good money. Have to go out shortly to take DS to get a new school bag (he goes back tomorrow) and then straight on to my brothers (he's being a great support emotionally) but I'll be applying for that on my return and amending my CV appropriately to fit the post.

I am starting to slowly climb back on the wagon with energy and focus returning. :)

Thank you all :grouphug: Always did love those dodgy hugs :rotfl:

Buffythedebtslayer

I always like your posts Ali, Welcome back and good luck with everything.