From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. The suddenness and shock of it all is starting to sink in.

My car is an automatic whereas my daughter's is a manual which I think, was the key difference. I have been able to get a lift back to the driveway I left it in and collect my car this afternoon. Everywhere is starting to thaw but it's still very cold so I was keen to get it back before the roads turned to skating rinks again.

crazy_cat_lady

Lots of love to you and the family HSL - so sorry for your loss. I am pleased you're all home safe and sound in the awful weather as well.

Busy_Mee1

Oh my goodness I am so sorry Lou. Sending you a virtual hug x

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you CCL and Busy Mee1.

I haven't really done very much today besides get my car back. I made a lasagne for tea and some Chelsea buns but those haven't been touched yet so they'll come in for tomorrow. I don't normally do online deliveries but just before setting off to see my grandmother on Thursday morning, I thought I'd do an order and get it delivered to save time ( I thought I'd be going up and down to the hospital over the weekend). The order was timed for Thursday evening, which in the the snow chaos understandably, couldn't be done. Mr T's has been brilliant though. They have rescheduled the delivery for tomorrow morning at no extra cost and sent an evoucher for £10 off my next shop for the inconvenience. I was surprised as it's totally understandable why they couldn't deliver.

Got to gear myself up for work on Monday. I was signed off last week to get over this horrible bug that wiped me out. I've also had a week of antibiotics to clear up the chest infection. Still feeling exhausted ( typing now having slept from 9 - 11.30) but not sure if some of the tiredness is just shock from this week. DD1 also ended up in hospital this week having had an episode of her health condition. She was able to be home on the same day but I hate not being able to be there for her, except on the end of a phone.

Payday was yesterday. I haven't even checked things yet but am assuming that all regular payments have left the account. I did think I would use the £160 usually spent on council tax to pay some to my parents towards the tumble dryer and some off the window loan to get that down a little faster. I've spent a little more on fuel because DD2 has had to do car journeys for me while I've been feeling so wrecked, so have made sure she's had enough money to put the extra fuel in her car.

Cherryfudge

I hope work isn't too tough tomorrow.

Would it be worth keeping a bit of a reserve in hand to cover any extra expenses you might incur in the next few weeks, as losing your Grandmother could mean extra costs, from attending the funeral (does everyone have something to wear?) to family phone calls, maybe flowers etc? Also as you are still recovering from your infection and have shock to cope with too, perhaps there will be medication, vitamins or small treats to ease you through. If you don't need the extra you could give your parents another payment in a few weeks' time.

I hope your DD is better soon, too.

Honeysucklelou2

That is a good idea...hadn't thought of flowers but will need to sort that out. My parents are hoping to visit tomorrow so hopefully will have more of an idea about the funeral arrangements.

Honeysucklelou2

So next problem...I had to call on the ex to collect some of the children on Thursday when it was apparent that getting home was going to be very difficult due to the snow. Thankfully he did pick 4 up and took them home, which I am grateful for. He stayed with them but by the time I got back the roads were like a skating rink and his bigger van wouldn't have got anywhere so he stayed the night. Yesterday he did give me a lift to collect my car but came back and ended up staying late night ( I fell asleep at about 9 as I was so tired) but have woken up this morning to find him still here. I am thankful for his help in an emergency situation to rescue our children but really don't want him thinking he's back. Yesterday alone was a reminder of why we are not together.

Cherryfudge

It must feel awkward for you and I'm sure you're already talking in terms of 'When the roads are clear enough for you to go home...' though as the children's father he's fulfilling a duty of care to them, not just helping you out.
Hopefully he'll soon be on his way, otherwise I think you will have to state clearly that while you appreciate him helping the children, he doesn't live in the same house any more and needs to go.

abba1772

So sorry to hear about your grandmother xx

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Abba1772.

Thank you Cherryfudge. The ex got up today at about 12 and left. I was really relieved and set about getting on with my day. I had to go out this afternoon and came back at 6 to find him there again and in the bath...again. He wanted me to go on to the computer to sort out DS's insurance as he turns 17 next week. I went on a couple of comparison sites and filled in details adding both the ex and myself as additional drivers. I was adding in the details and the question came up of marital status. I clicked on the best fit option which was separated because as of Dec we are legally separated. He got really cross with me for clicking that answer which is only being truthful. He then stomped off, I thought to the living room, but when I looked he'd got into DS2's bed to sleep ( DS2 is at his friend's tonight.) The consent order is yet to be done, so until it is complete I think he has the legal right to access the property but the stress I now feel is huge. I hate confrontation but I have got to make it clear he needs to go. I know he'll try and turn it round so the children will think I'm being horrible :(:(:(:(:(:(