From debt to freedom...

Spendless

Wow, exciting news. Things seem to be on a turn -up, so pleased for you. I remember the days of you visiting DD1, she studied miles away and the rest of you all needed to go cos I think they were all too young to leave behind, can imagine it did used to cost you a fortune. 

Sun_Addict

Fantastic news 🥳

MeandO

Hopefully the end of the mortgage woes are in sight for you HSL2 xx

joedenise

Good news on the mortgage front.

dawnybabes

Aww that’s brilliant news x

lucielle

So very pleased to read your news!
L

savingholmes

So excited to hear your news. Glad things are finally coming together. It's been a long slog for you but nearly at the finish line of that journey - ready to start the next chapter. Brilliant.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge, Spendless, Lucielle, joedenise, MeandO, dawneybabes, SA and SH.
 

The last week has been quite a rollercoaster. I had to go to court to sort out the paperwork needed for the mortgage that the ex was given before Christmas but has neglected / refused to sign. He signed some a week before the court date but not the one that was needed to go with the transfers or LR wouldn’t accept them. I was quite churned up and stressed on the day but despite being told of the hearing and his required attendance, the ex decided not to go. I am still incredulous that anyone can ignore a court hearing. On the plus side it meant the hearing was quick and the result is that paperwork can be signed by my solicitors in lieu of the ex. The solicitors, to their credit, had it signed and with the mortgage company within a couple of hours of the new  court  order being issued. Just waiting on the mortgage company now.

I did read and reread the original court order from the end of 2021 and do feel more sure of the legal position. I hate that the ex waits until I’m at work and then turns up. It hasn’t happened for a while but happened twice this week which included his taking something from the garden that was nothing to do with him. Rereading the original order makes me feel it would be ok to call the police if the ex continues to show up unannounced.  

SO has been very supportive and has continued to help in the garden. The space created makes the garden unrecognisable from before and gives me a blank canvas to work with.  If designed carefully it would give me a veg growing area at home which would be useful for salad, to save having to dash to the allotment.

Yesterday my friend took me on a shopping trip as it’s only a few weeks to the wedding. We started off in a shop that had been recommended to me for mother of the bride outfits. I did get to try a few on which were lovely but the £400+ price tag was a little 😵. Although it would have been lovely, I cannot justify spending that much on a dress
that I’m unlikely to wear again. I found a couple of smart dresses in Phase 8 that would have been suitable but they swamped me somewhat. In the end I found a dress in M and S which is pretty and “ very you” in my Dd’s words. Found some accessories in Pr*mark that matched so the whole outfit came to £110. The dress is wearable again. I did wobble that it wasn’t “Mother of the bride “  enough but the bottom line is I can’t afford or justify dresses that scream that. What I have is pretty, coordinated and comfortable given that we’ll be in a field. Also managed to get a suit for DS3 who looks very sweet in it!

I am quite agitated about the amount of money that seems to be slipping through my fingers at the moment. It’s just unfortunate that I thought the remortgage  and transfers would have been done months ago but the wedding and remortgage seem to be coming at the exact same time. I’ve also ended up paying about £2k in legal fees which is more than I thought. I have been awarded  some costs in court, getting it out of the ex will be another matter and may involve having to go back to court to enforce, meaning even more in legal fees. On top of all that we Have the hen do next weekend. I have said I can only do the day and not the whole weekend away which is what has been planned. I hope to drive there and back in a day as staying overnight somewhere on the back of last weekend’s trip is undoable! Last weekend’s trip was a once in a lifetime event that was free to get in but just incurred an overnight cost.

Cherryfudge

It sounds to me as though your ex may not be able to cope with seeing you with the law on your side - a bit of a classic bully perhaps? So he goes to your house (and takes stuff to prove he's been there) but not to the court. It's great that all the paperwork is signed though!

I think it may be advisable to let the police know he's breached conditions and taken something. Even if you aren't wanting to press charges, it will be evidence if he makes a habit of it.

You've done very well getting the mother of the bride outfit! I took all day to find one (and then I wasn't happy with it in the photos) but finding something pretty that is your style and you are comfortable in is so important, and doubly good that you can wear it again.

joedenise

Agree with @Cherryfudge.  Your ex is very definitely a bully and you need to report the breach to the police so that you have proof if it happens again.

You are right not to spend £400+ on something you'd only wear once.  It sounds as though you have bought something which can definitely wear again and at a quarter of the price - win win and very MSE!