From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you SH and Cherryfudge.

I’ve had a good couple of days back at Job 1. Tiredness has hit at about 8pm but have had energy for the day. Tonight I’ve had an unexpected shift at Job 2 which will help my cash flow I’m hoping. I’ve had no wages due to having to self isolate so even 1 shift will help. The pay cycle works mid week to mid week so my later shifts this week will get me back into weekly pay.

The not so good news is going into my overdraft. I’ve been free from using an overdraft for the last year but this month have dipped in 😞. It was to buy more oil. The minimum amount I can buy is 500 litres. Usually this lasts us a whole winter but for some reason we have gone through more this year. I took the point of view that I have never seen the tank so low and I was concerned that debris from the bottom of the tank  might work through the pipes and cause damage to or within the boiler. If that happened it would cost even more to fix, so I have bought the oil and hope to be able to repay it on payday next week. It’s frustrating because I’ve tried hard to keep a positive balance as preparation for a mortgage application. My EF has been so depleted already, I have to ensure that I budget for building that up again.

Cherryfudge

It seems sensible to get the oil rather than risk damage to the boiler, so you are probably saving money in the long term. Don't be too disheartened about dipping into the overdraft. You manage your money and that's why the bank lets you have it, and you're far from living in it: emergencies happen.

Great that you got an extra shift!

savingholmes

Sad about the overdraft but if in general you don't use it they will see that. Mine asked for 1 month, then 3 months and then 12 months of bank data... 

Glad you got an extra shift and that your tiredness hasn't been too bad. I'm in awe of how much you do at the best of times.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge and SH.

Turned out to be quite a busy week as I did 5 days at Job 1 and 3.5 shifts at Job 2. The half shift was due to being asked to cover someone last night. Given I'd done so many hours in my first week back post Covid, I said I’d help out to cover the really busy bit but not do the full shift. For the first time in weeks I’ve been able to bring home £10 in tips which will help to build up savings.

Yesterday was a weird day. I had DS2 ask me to do something which, owing to the amount of working hours I had already done this week, I politely declined and gave the reasons why. His response was a similar to the ex’s behaviour pattern which shook me. DD1 was quite clear and said it’s emotional blackmail.☹️😞☹️. Not a good day🙁.

Did a menu plan for the week and got to Mr T’s for the shopping. I got it to £70 but that did include £10 on a fluffy duvet set reduced from £40 to £10. When I got home I reflected on the purchase and think part of it was an emotional spending response  to the upset going on. Certainly something to guard against in the future.

Payday is tomorrow but I’m not sure how much I’ll be paid as it’s my first month of full time. Hoping that the overdraft will be cleared and some will go to savings.

Have a good Sunday everyone.

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear about DS2’s reaction, is he picking this behaviour up from the ex? Good that DD1 has the sense to see through it and side with you. 

The duvet set was a bargain even if you think it was bought on a whim. I’m sure you’ll get some use out of it so it’s not money frittered away. 

Hope you have a better day today. 

lucielle

Sorry to hear about DS1. The tips cover the duvet set. 

L

savingholmes

Sorry about DS2. Glad you had DD1 speak up for you. I can only imagine how hard it was for you. 

Well done on all the hours you've worked.

Cherryfudge

That must have been very difficult coming from DS2. Your DD1 is a great ally to have, good for her!

The fluffy duvet sounds nice actually and just what you need in this weather. If it was an emotional spend, it wasn't a huge one and it will be there if you need something fluffy again, as well as keeping you warm.

dawnybabes

Fluffy duvets are fab ! Could save you money in the long run. 

DS will have learnt from his father, good to see you’ve said no.  He needs to unlearn this ! 

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you SA, Lucielle, SH, Cherryfudge and Dawnybabes.

Lucielle - I hadn’t thought of using the tips to offset the cost of the duvet - that has really helped to think of it like that, thank you.

Dawneybabes - you are right, this type of behaviour was happening before we separated and has certainly been in evidence since. I do find that I’m still having to reset my understanding of reasonable and unreasonable behaviour which sounds silly as I write it but when you get used to that kind of behaviour it normalises it - I’m so thankful to have DD1 and her bf who not only model a healthy relationship to the younger children but can also see negative behaviours more clearly for what they are, if that makes sense.

Sunday was a better day. I got to the beach with some of the children. There was a man on the cliffs today holding this coloured flexible  band which, when he held it up in the breeze, caused these huge, rainbow coloured bubbles to float down to the beach. DS3 was both mesmerised and intrigued and spent quite a lot of time chasing the bubbles as they floated down! DS2 came too, which afforded me the opportunity to walk and talk with him. From what I can make out things are not rosy at the ex’s. The tricky issue of rent/ keep has come up. The way I did it here of expecting contributions when they are over  18 and in full time employment ( although DD1 has contributed whilst on a pt wage).  isn’t quite the same there which is making it hard for DS2 who is 16.  While not excusing his behaviour the previous day, it was good to have the chance to talk.

My payslip arrived in the post on Saturday so I now have a better idea of the amount I’m receiving today. I have checked at this unearthly hour (!) and moved some to savings. Quite a chunk of the increase this month will have to go towards paying back the overdraft which was needed for the extra oil.

I also got to the allotment for half an hour today. There is a huge amount of work to do up there as the brambles have grown back 😣. I got half an hour of chopping done. The beech hedge  has the last of its leaves still on the branches which were rustling in the breeze. A pane of glass has broken in one of the greenhouses but thankfully I have a spare so will get that fitted next time I’m up there. I discovered, when looking in the greenhouse, that I had some terracotta effect bowls for planting up muscari bulbs. I had researched prices on Ama*** the other day but mercifully hadn’t bought any, so was delighted to find these at the allotment. Not so much shopping from home as shopping from the greenhouse😄.