17 y/o girl and 29 y/o guy? should the guy know better?

just_trying

missbiggles1 wrote: »

For someone in their late 20s, I'm sure you're right - for someone in their mid teens, I don't think you are. (Which is, of course, the point of the discussion.)

Emm, your quoted post makes no sense she said people don't wait to do the deed anymore, so age means nothing.

Why are you sure about people in 20s waiting, that's a assumption based on nothing. Personally I think teenagers are far more careful now. You seem to be going by what the majority think.

annandale

There was a 7 year gap between my grandparents. They were together for 35 years until he died..People can and do meet and fall in love with an age gap.

As for 17 year olds having no life experience. Tell that to a young carer or someone living in a homeless hostel or having gone through the care system.

Too many assumptions as usual and it's unfair.

The OP has posted looking for advice
He's clearly said that he's unsure whether to proceed with a relationship. He's also said that he would be in no hurry to sleep with the girl. Look at some of the responses he's had.

annandale

Lots of 17 year olds will be in relationships. I've got friends who have kids and they've got kids. I know someone who lives with his gf and she's 22, she's got three Sisters and they all have children.

I'm not saying that it's right or wrong but thinking back to when I was,in my teens every single close friend I had at school had a,long term bf at 17 and I grew up in an era where women were encouraged to work and go to uni. Having a boyfriend didn't stop me from having friends or going out or getting an education. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

But the people in the opening post haven't even been on a date yet and look at the responses he's getting.

Sometimes people need advice. Not judgements. Unnecessary ones. And sweeping generalisations for what?

She's technically a child. But so are a lot of people out there right now in relationships. Some with kids.

They could go on two dates and it might fizzle out. It's not a given that if she goes on a date with the Op she's throwing her life away. Doesn't even sound like it's going to get that far.

annandale

I probably didn't explain it very well above and my phone won't let Mr edit my post but of the people I know who are in their early 20s with kids, I don't see people being concerned about them having so much more to do with their lives because they are young. I'd say thats because they are the same age and it's seen as acceptable. Just my view.

But a date provokes this reaction. Doesn't mean they are going to run off into the sunset together or sleep together.

And to be fair to the Op. He didn't know her age when they first started talking.

Marvel1

annandale wrote: »

There was a 7 year gap between my grandparents. They were together for 35 years until he died..People can and do meet and fall in love with an age gap.

Being 20 and 13 is not good.

Being 27 and 20 nothing wrong with it.

Same age gap of 7 years.

missbiggles1

just_trying wrote: »

Emm, your quoted post makes no sense she said people don't wait to do the deed anymore, so age means nothing.

Why are you sure about people in 20s waiting, that's a assumption based on nothing. Personally I think teenagers are far more careful now. You seem to be going by what the majority think.

You've totally misread my post, have a look at it again.

missbiggles1

just_trying wrote: »

Ridiculous comment, unable to cope with adult women based on what, there's plenty people in relationships with big age gaps.

As has been said several times already, the effect of age gaps largely depends on the ages of the people involved. A 12 year age gap would be largely irrelevant for 2 people in their 30s/40/etc - when one of them is in their mid teens and the other's nearly 30, it does.

Pop_Up_Pirate

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

i should say "should I know better" because i am referring to myself. so lately i been a bit down. i met this girl couple days ago, innocent interaction and then she said out the blue "i like you, never had someone be interested in me and my life like you are" and for a moment i took a shine to her and got her number. we started texting and our chat was flirty, bit of banter and we spoke on the phone and continued the flirty banter.

at this point never knew her age, but then she texted me this morning and said "i need you to know i am 17 btw, do you mind this?" i said no, which looking back now i should not have said. i text her about an hour ago asking when she is 18, she replied 4 months.

how should i go about this situation? i know the age gap is large, but given her age it would be even more frowned upon. she is legal obviously, but not thinking about sex right now considering the circumstance. should i leave it be or try keep things going and see it goes, then when she turns 18 think more seriously about the friendship?

Find someone your own age, or at least not 12 years younger.

Guest101

unholyangel wrote: »

Yes, that was my distinction to highlight the error of your wording - you haven't highlighted an 'error', the law is preventative, it tells you what you must not do, with some exceptions such as you must pay tax. The law is not designed to allow actions (hence my breathing act example) - that legal does not mean anything that is not illegal - yes it does, it means permitted by law rather than not mentioned by law. (or at least in this context - the other being relating to law as in "the legal profession") - we aren't discussion legalese, if that was your intention, say so. I am using the common meaning of words

Lawful - in comparison - just means that it conforms to the law rather than actually being permitted by it.

As for your own bizarre point (and its bjork bizarre) just what purpose would a breathing act have and how would it be enforced?

I'm out, you aren't making sense to me

annandale

Four months from your 18th birthday isn't mid teens and as has already been posted there's someone on the thread who got together with their partner at 18 when he was 32 and they are still together..

To write it off saying it can't work is wrong because clearly there are people it does work for.