Getting someone to leave

Proxima_Centauri

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I was just wondering where this hilarious nugget of information had come from, because neither I, nor anyone I know has ever heard of it before.

No way would I be doing it with someone I had only met twice before.

I suspect most people would not do it on only the third date. Possibly by the tenth to twentieth, but not the third.

For what it's worth I have never heard of this 'knickers off on the 3rd date' rule either.. :eek::rotfl:

Northern78

I know this isn't answering the ops question but I didn't sleep with my now husband for 8 months. I made it clear from the start that I wouldn't be jumping into bed with him and neither of us were in a rush as we both saw it as a long term relationship. I wanted to know him before I slept with him. That said if someone chose to do the deed on the third date or first that's their choice.

tesuhoha

I have a friend who invites me round for coffee but I always know when she wants me to leave by little subtle things. You could just say vaguely 'I only have till 10.30.' Look at your watch when its near that time, start to look a bit anxious, stand up, pick up the cups, glasses and plates and take them to the kitchen. By that time the guest should be saying 'I ought to go.' Then you should just nod politely and say 'Its been lovely seeing you. I'll fetch your coat.'

DUTR

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Just met a guy and we've been on a couple of dates. As we are trying save money, he is coming to mine for a meal.

But, without being rude, how do I get him to leave if he seems settled in for the evening?

I know this might sound rude, but I don't want him assuming that he's staying (definitely too early for anything like that), but just when I'm ready for him to go, what do I do? If we were out on a date, then I could just make excuses and go home.

You could just tell him, I'm sure he is a nice enough guy otherwise you wouldn't invite him to your place.
Or you both can agree before the visit.

indiepanda

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I also said some people wait 2-3 months, some wait 2 dates, and some wait 15 dates. They were just examples of how many different lengths of time people wait, and were purely to illustrate how absurd it is that people say it's customary to have s*x on the third date.

There IS no customary length of time before waiting to 'do it,' and I found it a bit laughable that several people intimated that it's the 'done thing' to do it on a third date. (Along with being a little indignant with people who said they wouldn't do it, and a little defensive!)

I was just wondering where this hilarious nugget of information had come from, because neither I, nor anyone I know has ever heard of it before.

No way would I be doing it with someone I had only met twice before.

I suspect most people would not do it on only the third date. Possibly by the tenth to twentieth, but not the third.

Several people? At the time you posted this, one person had mentioned 3 dates and then I had agreed it was quite common for people to sleep together on the third date - which is not to say it is "customary" - that's different. Two people is hardly several.

And the chap that said it was actually trying to defend women against being accused of being tarts for sleeping with someone on the third date, not suggesting women were prudish if they didn't.

Mr.Generous

Provide him with an after dinner nosh and he'll be off home in time to watch the football. Simples.

Knightsuntold

I would tell him that he won't be stopping over - you could make a bit of a joke over it. If that's a bit too forward, will he be driving? Even if he's planning to, you could always suggest that he might like wine with his meal, and would he like to get a taxi home - that gives a clear message out, without being awkward.

I did the same as you - I was trying to save money and invited my now partner over to eat at mine for the third date. I spent the whole evening fretting about how to tell him to go at the end of it, kept looking at my watch and I ruined the night. Eventually, he made his excuses and left, only to ring me half an hour later, to ask if I was trying to end it. Once I explained, he laughed, but it could have easily gone the way - if he hadn't have called, I would have assumed that he wasn't interested (or I'd poisoned him), and I wouldn't have had the confidence to call him. Thinking about it, if you can, just tell him straight, and enjoy the evening.

BrassicWoman

actual data! it's not the 3rd date, it's the 3.53rd date

http://www.timeout.com/dating-2015/

[Deleted User]

Hi,

has he gone yet, or is he getting the chicken and gravy for breakfast.

JReacher1 wrote: »

Things must have changed a bit as I thought it was commonly known that the third date is often the date people consummate the relationship.

So, no preamble, no expensive meal beforehand, no 'do you want to come in for coffee?'

Does that add pressure to third date or a frisson of anticipation?

Proxima_Centauri wrote: »

For what it's worth I have never heard of this 'knickers off on the 3rd date' rule either.. :eek::rotfl:

Nowadays just don't wear any on third date.

joeblags

just let his smash you and be done with it.