Getting someone to leave

consumers_revenge

JReacher1 wrote: »

Really?

Things must have changed a bit as I thought it was commonly known that the third date is often the date people consummate the relationship. I certainly wouldn't agree that if you sleep with someone on your third date it makes you "easy".

44 now, 3rd long term relationship. If shoe was on the other foot, I would be thinking how many a she had BUT every person has the right to their own ideas and opinions.

And any rush to get it on if you're looking longer term?

JReacher1

consumers_revenge wrote: »

44 now, 3rd long term relationship. If shoe was on the other foot, I would be thinking how many a she had BUT every person has the right to their own ideas and opinions.

And any rush to get it on if you're looking longer term?

No rush but I think believing someone might be a tart because they invite you round on a third date just seems a bit harsh.

Proxima_Centauri

PasturesNew wrote: »

He'll have his toothbrush in his pocket. An invite round's as good as laid in a fella's book

This did make me laugh :rotfl:

I suspect it's not far off the mark though.

consumers_revenge

JReacher1 wrote: »

No rush but I think believing someone might be a tart because they invite you round on a third date just seems a bit harsh.

Didn't nessecarily imply they were a tart. Just my own opinion, op looks to have they same thoughts.

We're all grown up and to each their own.

indiepanda

JReacher1 wrote: »

No rush but I think believing someone might be a tart because they invite you round on a third date just seems a bit harsh.

I agree - thought third date was pretty common.

And to assume that means someone is regularly jumping into bed with someone if they sleep with you on the third date is somewhat judgemental. I've had a number of first dates and decided I didn't want a second much less a third as I didn't fancy and / or like the guy. Very few of my internet dates made it to that third or fourth date where sex might be on the cards.

And why is it still... even in this day and age.... that some men are out there judging women for things they wouldn't consider to be an issue in their own behaviour. I hate this notion that sex is something men want and women have to hold back on "giving" in order to keep their respect and attention.

FBaby

as a bloke, if you were expecting me to be staying over on a 3rd date I would be assuming you were far to easy and doing this quite often so would run a mile.

Good thing my now husband didn't think that! Not everyone ready to be intimate on a third date do this 'quite often'. In many case, they don't at all until they meet someone they feel a real connection with and believe they could be the one.

I personally would not be interested in pursuing a relationship with someone who was so quick to judge someone on what is nothing but a stereotype.

Lily-Rose_3

DUKE wrote: »

I'd tell him straight Pollyanna, not to get any ideas because it ain't gonna happen!

Oh Lily-Rose I share your pain :eek: If it was up to me I'd never have any visitors at all. I had to get my coat on & open the front door to rid us of Mr Duke's last visitors, although I'd already said that we had somewhere else to be beforehand. There should be laws about this sort of thing!!! Or we could fine them, I'd make a fortune.

:rotfl: Glad it's not just me. In fact, I think a lot of people feel the same to be honest! No so much that they hate company - or people; just they don't much like people in their home.

Really?

Things must have changed a bit as I thought it was commonly known that the third date is often the date people consummate the relationship. I certainly wouldn't agree that if you sleep with someone on your third date it makes you "easy".

indiepanda wrote: »

I agree - thought third date was pretty common.
.

:rotfl: Who furnished you with this little nugget of information?

Made me laugh out loud that did!

I think someone is pulling your leg/winding you up!

nimbo wrote: »

I'm obviously a prude because I didn't doink my fella on the third date. Or the first time I invited him over.

The first time I invited him over for dinner he didn't stay. I was very open about this. Told him in very non ambiguous terms.

He was three hours late (he got stuck on a train as it snowed). He was on the train behind me. And he's even text to see if i wants to wait for it so we could do the journey together. Haha. He still went back to his. He was fine with this. .

I agree. I have never heard the likes of it. It's customary to have s*x on the third date. Since when?! :rotfl:

I was born in the 60's, and I have never heard this before - ever! I spoke about this to my daughter was born in the mid 90's, my cousin who was born in the early 80's, and a couple of older people born in the 30's, and 40's, and they all laughed at this too and said it was news to them!

People go 2-3 months, or 6 months even, sometimes longer. Sometimes it will be the first or second date, or the 15th one! There has never been any 'customary rule.' If I were to start dating again now, and someone starting trying to get frisky on the third date, they'd get a short shrift from me. Say what you like about me, but there is no WAY I would be getting my kit off and showing my bits to someone I had met only TWICE before!

I find it somewhat amusing that people who always do it on the third date 'because it's the done thing' seem a little indignant that others don't do it, along with being somewhat defensive.

indiepanda

Lily-Rose wrote: »

People go 2-3 months, or 6 months even, sometimes longer. Sometimes it will be the first or second date, or the 15th one! There has never been any 'customary rule.' If I were to start dating again now, and someone starting trying to get frisky on the third date, they'd get a short shrift from me. Say what you like about me, but there is no WAY I would be getting my kit off and showing my bits to someone I had met only TWICE before!

Blimey, 6 months. I suspect that's less common these days than the people who have done it on or before the third date. All credit to those who have the willpower to hang out that long, I really can't imagine ever dating someone for that long before having sex. My parents tell me they waiting till they were married - which means over three years - but then my dad was very old fashioned, and my mum was very religious and I am neither.

I guess, returning to the OPs question, all this discussion proves is that there's a wide range of views on when people would consider it right for them to have sex. Some people would never think an invite to someone's house meant sex if it was on the third date, others might be hopeful but easily put off, and others would be assuming game on!

If you aren't sure the views of the person you are dating are the same as yours, you'd better make sure you are very clear with them, preferably when the date is made, but if not then, at the latest when they arrive that evening. I can understand if you have young children who can't be left then organising regular baby sitters to cover dates is at least a lot of hassle and probably a lot of cost. As someone who doesn't have kids and isn't short of cash, I just don't invite dates to mine unless I am comfortable with the idea of having sex, that's the easiest option.

Lily-Rose_3

indiepanda wrote: »

Blimey, 6 months. I suspect that's less common these days than the people who have done it on or before the third date. All credit to those who have the willpower to hang out that long, I really can't imagine ever dating someone for that long before having sex. My parents tell me they waiting till they were married - which means over three years - but then my dad was very old fashioned, and my mum was very religious and I am neither.
.

I also said some people wait 2-3 months, some wait 2 dates, and some wait 15 dates. They were just examples of how many different lengths of time people wait, and were purely to illustrate how absurd it is that people say it's customary to have s*x on the third date.

There IS no customary length of time before waiting to 'do it,' and I found it a bit laughable that several people intimated that it's the 'done thing' to do it on a third date. (Along with being a little indignant with people who said they wouldn't do it, and a little defensive!)

I was just wondering where this hilarious nugget of information had come from, because neither I, nor anyone I know has ever heard of it before.

No way would I be doing it with someone I had only met twice before.

I suspect most people would not do it on only the third date. Possibly by the tenth to twentieth, but not the third.

missbiggles1

JReacher1 wrote: »

Really?

Things must have changed a bit as I thought it was commonly known that the third date is often the date people consummate the relationship. I certainly wouldn't agree that if you sleep with someone on your third date it makes you "easy".

I'd think it made you patient.:o