Getting someone to leave

onomatopoeia99

PasturesNew wrote: »

He'll have his toothbrush in his pocket. An invite round's as good as laid in a fella's book

Utter nonsense

OP, try the truth. It's surprsingly effective for communicating what you want.

JReacher1

Third date and you've invited him round to your house for a meal. I would suggest he's expecting to stay over.

You want to tell him up front that it's too soon.

consumers_revenge

as a bloke, if you were expecting me to be staying over on a 3rd date I would be assuming you were far to easy and doing this quite often so would run a mile.


I wouldn't be offended if you told me you were only cooking and we going to spend a nice evening together... ( lets face it youre being kind enough to cook for me! )


talk to him, you may be surprised....


and good luck with the dating

JReacher1

consumers_revenge wrote: »

as a bloke, if you were expecting me to be staying over on a 3rd date I would be assuming you were far to easy and doing this quite often so would run a mile.


I wouldn't be offended if you told me you were only cooking and we going to spend a nice evening together... ( lets face it youre being kind enough to cook for me! )


talk to him, you may be surprised....


and good luck with the dating

Really?

Things must have changed a bit as I thought it was commonly known that the third date is often the date people consummate the relationship. I certainly wouldn't agree that if you sleep with someone on your third date it makes you "easy".

Mojisola

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Just met a guy and we've been on a couple of dates. As we are trying save money, he is coming to mine for a meal.

But, without being rude, how do I get him to leave if he seems settled in for the evening?

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I would have thought the 'picking someone up at 10pm' thing would be impossible as she has young children in bed I think

I also think it is much better to start the relationship with open and honest communication and set the boundaries of the evening early on.

Absolutely be honest and upfront when he arrives.

If I didn't know someone well enough to be clear about these kind of boundaries, I wouldn't be inviting him into my home if it was just me there but especially not with children in the house.

DUKE

I'd tell him straight Pollyanna, not to get any ideas because it ain't gonna happen!

Oh Lily-Rose I share your pain :eek: If it was up to me I'd never have any visitors at all. I had to get my coat on & open the front door to rid us of Mr Duke's last visitors, although I'd already said that we had somewhere else to be beforehand. There should be laws about this sort of thing!!! Or we could fine them, I'd make a fortune.

Primrose

If you invite him for dinner, say "it!s a meal. Not a stopover because 11 pm is my bedtime Hope you don't mind me being straight up front but it's better than any misunderstandings."

And just to back it up make the only lights you have on in the room are on a timer and switch themselves at 11 pm or whatever. Then you can quite legitimately say " Wel I guess that signals the end if a lovely evening. Let me get your coat /jacket .....!

And half an hour before your proposed kicking out time, switch the central heating off ! And during your conversation at some point make a passing comment about a previous boyfriend you dumped because he never knew when to say goodnight!

nimbo

I'm obviously a prude because I didn't doink my fella on the third date. Or the first time I invited him over.

The first time I invited him over for dinner he didn't stay. I was very open about this. Told him in very non ambiguous terms.

He was three hours late (he got stuck on a train as it snowed). He was on the train behind me. And he's even text to see if i wants to wait for it so we could do the journey together. Haha. He still went back to his. He was fine with this. I did tell him when I invited him over it wasn't to stay so he hadn't bought a toothbrush. Not that he would have presumed.

I'm sure that a gentleman wouldn't have a problem with the money saving idea - or with the lack of sleepover that soon. And if he does have a problem with it - he's a douche and your better than that.

lincroft1710

JReacher1 wrote: »

Really?

Things must have changed a bit as I thought it was commonly known that the third date is often the date people consummate the relationship. I certainly wouldn't agree that if you sleep with someone on your third date it makes you "easy".

Certainly this was often the case in the 1980s/90s

Fireflyaway

Who knows he might make move of his own accord and there might not be a need to tell him / drop hints whatever.
If he doesn't take the hint just thank him for coming over and ask when is a good day to meet next. If he doesn't take that hint, tell him you are tired, have an early start and hope he isn't offended but you need to turn in. I wouldn't make stuff up about phone calls or fake things that need doing. More likely to forget what you said and get caught out!