Men - I despair

Not all men - but my man in particular.

For the last 17 years I've been telling him to try clothes on before he buys them. For the last 17 years he's been surprised every time he's bought something (without trying it on) and then got it home and found that it doesn't fit. 17 years. He's in all other respects a clever bloke.

Just now (at his suggestion) we've had a last-minute try-on of our outfits for his daughter's wedding. It's an informal affair by UK standards, but still required the purchase of a new jacket and new trousers. He didn't try the trousers on when he bought them. They're too long for him. It's now too late to get them altered. I could possibly take them up myself, but it would be hand stitched (we're away from home so no access to a sewing machine), and I don't think it would look very good. I also don't feel like helping him much at the moment, as I'm extremely annoyed at him.

AND, it hasn't crossed his mind to think about what socks he's going to wear. His trousers are cream, his shoes are brown and he 'thinks' he might wear black socks. Over my dead body he will!!! But - we now need to go and buy him some appropriate socks!!

Honestly, a three year old would be easier. How can a man who is otherwise successful and organised be so cr*p when it comes to clothes?? This is a serious question - I REALLY need to know, before I wrap the trousers round his neck and stuff the black socks who knows where.
No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...
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  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511
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    After 17 years and his track record I'm amazed you didn't get him to try them on before leaving home .

    If you have access to an iron that iron on Velcro stuff might be easier than faffing about hand sewing a hem.

    Enjoy the wedding
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • I know!! Half of me agrees with you, half of me thinks I shouldn't have to treat him like a child. Hence my despair.

    And they're not just a little bit long - they're about 4 inches too long.
    No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511
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    Oh just buy new ones (him not you)
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • I've found that it's quite amazing how fast men grow up once they stop being mothered and have to take responsibility for, and accept the consequences, of their own actions.
  • chiefie
    chiefie Posts: 406
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    Men eh ? My advice ....,

    Stop treating him like a 3 year old child and let him sort himself out. After he gets it wrong a couple of times he will come round, but my guess is you are filling that learning gap for him.

    Enjoy your wedding 😀
  • Give him a break. Maybe he would find it easier if you didn't get so !!!!ed at him and found a sense of humour in it all
    Love is the answer :j
  • ThemeOne
    ThemeOne Posts: 1,471
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    He probably thinks you'll always step in to sort things out.
  • He's the father of the bride!! How can I find something amusing about his trousers looking ridiculous!!

    At what point have I been 'mothering' him? When he bought them, and I didn't remind him to try them on?

    Yes, the temptation to just walk away was extremely strong - but that wouldn't be fair on his daughter.

    Have now found somewhere that does a 1 hour alteration service, so the immediate problem is solved. The frustration, however, remains.
    No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...
  • He is not going to learn now, after 17 years, is he? Just let him buy clothes that don't fit, then HE can take them back. And don't fuss about black socks.

    Glad you have your wedding sorted out!
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • 74jax
    74jax Posts: 7,921
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    He didn't try the trousers on when he bought them. They're too long for him. It's now too late to get them altered. I could possibly take them up myself, but it would be hand stitched (we're away from home so no access to a sewing machine), and I don't think it would look very good. I also don't feel like helping him much at the moment, as I'm extremely annoyed at him.

    I'm not sure why it's down to you? And as for hand stiching something, why would you if you don't want to. I understand some people love sewing, if you don't then don't. Let him short of all out.

    AND, it hasn't crossed his mind to think about what socks he's going to wear. His trousers are cream, his shoes are brown and he 'thinks' he might wear black socks. Over my dead body he will!!! But - we now need to go and buy him some appropriate socks!!

    to be fair I'm with him. Life is too short for me to worry about the color of something no one will see. Why is it 'we' need to go buy socks? If he wants some can't he? .

    Honestly, a three year old would be easier. How can a man who is otherwise successful and organised be so cr*p when it comes to clothes?? This is a serious question - I REALLY need to know, before I wrap the trousers round his neck and stuff the black socks who knows where.

    In all seriousness, maybe Christmas has got to you. If he doesn't mind, its not you wearing the clothes. Why do you care if he is happy with what he picked.

    Maybe let him clean up after Christmas, look after any guests for a while and do what you enjoy. Watch TV, go for a walk etc.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
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