This date - what happened?

NWOIHTS

Missu wrote: »

I think you're too intense. A lot of women would see this as clingy with the potential of becoming controlling behaviour. You need to relax a bit.

Ok, sorry I got the wrong impression i'd have thought after so many emails that you might want to actually meet someone. Does the girl not expect you to ask them out on a date? Then am I wrong and don't ask her out again?

Ok I am being a bit intense but I've had this flaky nonsense before, maybe this time it isn't but is just the way she is.

NWOIHTS

Dird wrote: »

You've already missed your chance. Since that date all those days ago she's been chatting with this guy with a killer bod so not so enthusiastic to reply to you as quickly (but still replies as you seemed "nice").

I never said she was less enthusiastic to email or reply?

PeacefulWaters

My tips:

Messaging - let her initiate it, respond after a gap of a few minutes, exchange four or five messages, end by asking when she's next free and arrange a date from there.

Flakiness - two chances. Don't rush it. Don't push it. If her attraction level to you is high she'll see you again. But if she's avoiding a direct question about meeting up again stop messaging after two attempts. Make her initiate the next contact and don't reply to it for at least an hour.

For what it's worth, I've never managed to get a "flaky" lady to the next date and suggest, if the above doesn't work, moving on to the next one.

She isn't that interested.

cashewnut

I'd be disappointed if someone cut a date short just as I'd got over the nerves/awkwardness. However if I liked someone I would be keen to meet up again regardless. Has her tone changed in her email, eg less enthusiastic in her responses? Confusing, this one!

GlasweJen

Or she thought she liked you until you upped and left half way through a date. She probably thinks that you're the flake and is keeping you on a back burner until Christmas/new year are over. Why should she squeeze you in at the last minute when it's so busy to have you stand up and leave with no explanation when she's still half way through drinking her coffee again?

getmore4less

way too much overthinking...

Arranged a meet up and after the first 5/10 mins of first meet awkwardness we started talking away and seemed to get on quite well. So it got a bit later in the evening and I said well I got to go now and she seemed a bit shocked when I said that, I picked up on her tone of voice but I never said anything. After we went outside we were talking for a bit and I said we can catch up and arrange to go and do something nice soon.

That's it, you wind a date down with the we should meet again soon stuff while still inside and before you say you have to go.

The "I got to go now" sends a clear I am not that into you message.

NWOIHTS

cashewnut wrote: »

I'd be disappointed if someone cut a date short just as I'd got over the nerves/awkwardness. However if I liked someone I would be keen to meet up again regardless. Has her tone changed in her email, eg less enthusiastic in her responses? Confusing, this one!

No, she has been as chatty as ever, even emailed me twice on xmas day, after telling me how busy she was, so I pulled back a bit.

It is I can't work it out. She'd said at the start she was interested in liked this and that about me. Asking me lots of questions ever since.

NWOIHTS

getmore4less wrote: »

way too much overthinking...

Arranged a meet up and after the first 5/10 mins of first meet awkwardness we started talking away and seemed to get on quite well. So it got a bit later in the evening and I said well I got to go now and she seemed a bit shocked when I said that, I picked up on her tone of voice but I never said anything. After we went outside we were talking for a bit and I said we can catch up and arrange to go and do something nice soon.

That's it, you wind a date down with the we should meet again soon stuff while still inside and before you say you have to go.

The "I got to go now" sends a clear I am not that into you message.

Ok, we cleared that one up ages ago thanks!!

NWOIHTS

GlasweJen wrote: »

Or she thought she liked you until you upped and left half way through a date. She probably thinks that you're the flake and is keeping you on a back burner until Christmas/new year are over. Why should she squeeze you in at the last minute when it's so busy to have you stand up and leave with no explanation when she's still half way through drinking her coffee again?

Half way through a date, it was a coffee meet, we'd finished those and spoke for a good bit afterwards. What are you on about I never left with no explanation I said let me know when you're free and we can arrange something. Anyway that's been explained ages ago.

Zeni

NWOIHTS wrote: »

No, she has been as chatty as ever, even emailed me twice on xmas day, after telling me how busy she was, so I pulled back a bit.

It is I can't work it out. She'd said at the start she was interested in liked this and that about me. Asking me lots of questions ever since.

If shes still messaging you, she's got to be still interested other why would she message you so much. The leaving on the first date maybe did worry her a little thinking you wanted to end gtge date maybe she started to worry you didnt like her.. its only human to think about things like that but you've explained it to her now. Personally, if you like her I say message hr and just be honest otherwise you could dance around it for ages and never do anything. Something like 'Hi, I hope you have a great Christmas, would love to meet up again in the new year if your free? I really enjoyed our last meeting etc. I think if you pull away now that's going to send hr another signal maybe your not interested. Give the girl a break, Christmas is a very hard time of year to meet up over if you have a million plans and family chaos etc.

(Side note.. I met my husband on PoF and it took us over 2 weeks from our first date to our second as I was so busy as I had just started a new job and here we are almost 5 years later!)