All the lonely people....

Rachiedabbler70

Hi Caterina
Sorry you are having a difficult time and hoping your husband is better soon for both your sakes. I'm not close to my mother - find her very difficult but will spend a few hours with her, my step dad, my sister (who I'm very close too), but also lucky I have a son living with me and another home from university. My sis and sons keep me sane and I'm cooking dinner.

Why don't you consider doing something completely different next year to please you and hubby and son. It's not selfish to chose who you spend time with. sending you lots of hugs.

katkin

You have a great spirit Caterina, keep on in there! Blessings to you and yours (((hugs))) X

:happyhear

Caterina

Thank you all. My mother is actually being very sympathetic about DH's illness, very concerned. She just cannot cope with feelings I suppose, but she is being practical, helping in that way.

Am going off now, bless you all for your lovely words of help, merry Christmas xx

just_trying

Enjoy your time together, merry Christmas to you, you deserve it Xx.

[Deleted User]

Caterina I feel for you being so far from home and in a difficult position.I am sure you will try to make the best of things and like all difficult times These too will pass. Soon you will be back in your adopted country amongst all your friends real and virtual.
Hope Midnight Mass went well and I wish you and your OH the very best for today and the future as I know things may become difficult for you both . Will see you for a 'mini-meet' in the New Year I hope
God bless you both
JackieO xxx

Caterina

Thank you JackieO, dear friend. In the end I did not go to Midnight Mass because DH got quite feverish and I was very worried for him. My mother tried to call the night duty doctor but there was no reply. She wanted to call the ambulance but DH said no. Luckily I found the paracetamol tablets that I was sure to have, in one of the luggage pockets, and gave him two.

After twenty minutes he was sweating profusely and the fever finally broke. But he was all soaked so I had to help him change night clothes, twice. I am sure Baby Jesus will forgive me for not being there. I will try to go tomorrow but if not I will just pray here, I am sure that prayers are heard no matter where we are.

My mother is very good in practical matters and sympathetic to physical, visible stuff like a fever, so she was very kind and concerned, it's just feelings that she does not cope well with.

I am rather wound up so could not sleep but am starting feeling heavy eyelids, hopefully will manage to get a bit of shuteye!

Good night and merry Christmas.

duchy

God doesn't need you to be in a church to pray. If you can make it to church , fine .......and getting out of the house would probably do you good, if you really can't then you can't . If you believe then you also believe that God knows if you genuinely can't go.

You are right, you can't change your Mum but what you can change is your response when she is difficult. You can take it all personally or you can say "I've done my best if she has no understanding or appreciation of this then that is her problem. It only becomes mine if I allow it to."

I hope your husband is feeling much better by the morning xx

Caterina

Thank you duchy for your kind and considerate advice.

I try to do just that (change the response) but sometimes still fail. I am still trying though! I see the good in her, the kindness and love, in spite of her difficult character. I see also her vulnerability which prevents her from being able to acknowledge feelings openly, but I can only do it at a distance, like now.

Thanks God DH's fever has broken. I have changed his shirt 3 times and the half of the bed where he slept is soaked with sweat, but he is now much better and sleeping on the other half. I will have to undo the bed later and put him on the other little bed. Just as well there are 3 beds in this room!

I managed to get just a few hours sleeping, better than nothing. There is no way I will make it to church today, I am so very very tired and don't want to leave DH's side, if he needs something I don't want to expose my mother to germs more than she is already.

I so hope I don't get this illness or we won't be able to leave in time for all the other bits of the holiday.

However, there are worse things and I am thankful for what we have. Happy Christmas.

katkin

Stick in there Catriona and look after your husband, I'm sure you will get through this. Can you look at the mum and sister thing as an awakening? It's tough coming to an awareness about family and can catch us at any age..

It's ok to love kin but not like their nature. It's just the way it is. Hence the saying you can't pick your relatives.

It will be fine, it's Xmas day just one day to get through X

Hugs, you are doing an amazing job (())

Caterina

Thank you dear katkin, I hope you have a good Christmas Day.