All the lonely people....

Caterina

I am lying in a small bed, in a dark room, with my husband ill with cold and a fever (please God, don't let it be flu) in the bigger bed and no light on because it bothers his eyes, in my mother's house, a long long way from my home.

I made the bad mistake of thinking it would be OK to have this Christmas here, thought quiet little town, company for mum, sister not far will be good company, it will be quiet fun with DH.

Except DH is ill and sleeping it off, mother is very unsympathetic and rather cold, feels bad for DH but dismissed my crying (could not help it, was caught by her crying in the kitchen), sister could not give a fig about anybody and stayed away.

Spoke with DS in London and he is sad and miserable, told me he will spend Christmas Day alone rolled into a ball in his bed.

DD estranged herself from family just before we left, because we caught her lying to us again about her destructive behaviour.

Having possibly the most miserable Christmas of my entire life, 59 years of it.

If there are any other lonely souls out there, sad and distraught for whatever reason, let's have a virtual party here together, maybe we can cheer each other up.

purpleivy

So sorry to hear of your sadness Caterina. I hope things improve for you soon.

SpekySquarehead

Aw Caterina. I'm sending you virtual hugs. I wish I could help.

What I would like to share though is that I'm feeling positive about 2017 and I'm trying to rub off on everyone else. I've no real reason to be so optimistic but I'm aiming high. Why not set some small goals for maybe even 3 months time to fill you with motivation once you smash them and also act as a little pick-me-up.

I hope your DH feels better tomorrow and you have a wonderful day. You know we're all here for you.

Have a lovely Christmas and a successful 2017.

Hard_Up_Hester

Caterina I'm so sorry you are having such a dreadful time, I'll join you, for a party, my husband is asleep and he hates Christmas. I've spent the day watching tv and doing crochet, tomorrow we are dropping gifts off to the grandchildren. But that will only take an hour, the rest of the day will be quiet and boring.

Caterina

Thank you purpleivy and Speky. I am also quite positive for 2017, it's the immediate moment I am finding very difficult. I have only myself to blame, I have made the same mistake innumerable times, somehow unable to accept that my family of origin is so distant and cold with me.

Only 45 minutes and I will go out for the Midnight Mass, hopefully it will give me some peace of heart.

Caterina

Hester, raising a virtual glass to you, cheers! :-) I knew that this is the best place to find good friends. I am already smiling a little!

just_trying

Caterina, please try to enjoy tomorrow. I'm and OH from a family who some members don't speak. Enjoy your time together or the memory will always be tainted. Try and relax and make new memories where you can laugh. But if your husband is like my OH then he's dieing. My sister told me so many lies we don't talk and she has 2 kids, I would love to be in touch with, but they have there mum and leave it at that. We were really close growing up.

Please try and make the best of tomorrow Xx.

Took ages to write reply but wishing you the best.

Caterina

just trying thank you, it is my intention to make the best of tomorrow. Trying to change my family members is like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone. My DH is too out of it to do anything, poor love, he spent all day in bed mostly asleep, I hope he is a bit better tomorrow. I feel selfish because I hope it for him but for me, too, because the loneliness of being with my mother and feeling unable to express any feelings for fear of being dismissed is just too lonely.

katkin

Caterina sending Internet hugs to you. So sorry things haven't worked out well this Xmas. Can you try and think of all the better ones you have had and know it's just a few days out of a year. It will pass and hopefully your hubby will feel better soon.

Just think of all the good things you have in your life and all that you have achieved already, feel proud of yourself for all that. Families are hard work, but you are more than your family - you are you and pretty amazing! I know this because you post here and I love reading your messages X

Not long and you will be home again in your own bed.

Caterina

Thank you katkin, I love your posts, too!

Counting my blessings now and one of those is that I still have a mother, even with her challenging ways, she is still my mum and I will try for her. She is nearly 85, ain't gonna change anytime soon!

just_trying

Caterina wrote: »

just trying thank you, it is my intention to make the best of tomorrow. Trying to change my family members is like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone. My DH is too out of it to do anything, poor love, he spent all day in bed mostly asleep, I hope he is a bit better tomorrow. I feel selfish because I hope it for him but for me, too, because the loneliness of being with my mother and feeling unable to express any feelings for fear of being dismissed is just too lonely.

Caterina, I know nothing else will be on your head, if it's anything like two family members of ours, they break your heart. Enjoy your time away, you deserve it as hard as it is.

You've worked hard to enjoy this time away with your mum Xx. Please try and try to make it a lovely time away and dose your husband up. It's always worse at this time of year, it hurts hard.

My OH mum is like your mum everything will be ok even though most of the family don't speak, which was shown at a recent funeral, where I have never felt so awkward, it was horrible.