Am I The Only One?

jamiehelsinki

OP this is a female dominated board so your asking in the wrong place.

My opinion is you live once, if your not happy then move on.

dirty_magic

-taff wrote: »

In my friends case, not only has sex gone out the window, but so has every other type of phyisical touch, like hugging, holding hands, cuddling on the sofa, kissing.

That's what makes it a relationship rather than just friendship though!

AndyBlue1975

I wish you all a very merry christmas.

FBaby

Andy, don't feel bullied in thinking you are anything but selfish if you are not totally accepting that your sex like is over for good because otherwise, you are nothing but a crap husband.

The issue here is not your wife's lack of libido. It's her selfish attitude of thinking that she has the right to expect you to accept it without discussing it. Personally, I think this is the most self-centered and unlovable attitude to have to it, the same message than 'my way or no way'.

She doesn't owe you to force herself to do physical things she doesn't want to do just to make you happy, but she does owe you to discuss the matter and seek ways you can BOTH be happy enough with the situation, ie. finding some compromise.

How would she feel if you suddenly decided that you wanted to reduce your working hours so the family income was only half what it is because you hate your job and you told her that that's how it is and she has no say into it, refusing to discuss a compromise or explain why you feel this way? I bet the response would be very different.

Accept that your sex life might be reduced at least temporary, but don't accept that she doesn't have to discuss with you, marriage is about communication.

AndyBlue1975

FBaby wrote: »

Andy, don't feel bullied in thinking you are anything but selfish if you are not totally accepting that your sex like is over for good because otherwise, you are nothing but a crap husband.

Hi.

Sorry for being a bit thick here but i don't understand what you mean?

Gloomendoom

AndyBlue1975 wrote: »

Hi.

Sorry for being a bit thick here but i don't understand what you mean?

Your're not being selfish and nor are you a crap husband just because you aren't happy that your sex life appears to be over.

gwynlas

Hope you had a good Christmas with the family.
On to answer your question, no you are not the only one obviously,
I would say that if you get aroused whilst kissing and cuddling that isn't leading to penetration that you should take care of yourself beside her in bed. It isn't disrespectful but an acknowledgement that you are still turned on by her/ Perhaps it might lead to her joining in in some way

FBaby

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Your're not being selfish and nor are you a crap husband just because you aren't happy that your sex life appears to be over.

Sorry if not clear this is what I meant.

annie_d

Thats really difficult,,i have been hindered by a very high libido that isn't reciprocated. its a constant source of frustration. I don't have anything to offer you as a solution. I just think…..oh, well, there are worse things in life….its a big issue for me though.

AndyBlue1975

Hope everyone had a nice Christmas day.

I have decided that the best way for me, personally, to get rid of the frustration born out of a high sex drive, is to channel that energy elsewhere.
To be honest i don't even sort myself out much now, as that seems pointless!!

I am going to convert my shed into a gym and get my body back that i had many years ago.
I am going to get super fit and toned, and watch the return of the good looking fellow i used to see regularly staring back in the mirror.
I got a bike for Christmas so i will be putting that through it's paces.
I will also buy some tennis rackets as my eldest is interested in taking it up, and we don't have a lot of shared interests.

Before we got together i used to be very active.
I would go gym twice a day, play tennis regularly, and go hill climbing.
I would also walk anywhere I possibly could without using the car.

So that is the way forward for me.

The endorphins from exercise give me a major natural high, which is a bonus for me considering i have ptsd and depression.
It also helps alleviate the problem of a high libido that i have always had.