Am I The Only One?

gabriel1980

I would definitely go for cheating in this situation or maybe you could arrange some sort of open marriage contract?

System

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I would definitely go for cheating in this situation or maybe you could arrange some sort of open marriage contract?

Well thats not going to go down well is it? What about the emotional side of it?

svain

Nothing selfish about the original post. Anyone who thinks otherwise has obviously not been in the same situation, has no libido themselves or just deluded.
Unconditional love takes a very special type of person who in their 30's is effectively giving up on on their physical relationship for potentially rest of their life and a very brave man to attempt it.
If things dont improve, in time there will be some uncomfortable truths. I dont think its realistic to expect abstinence for rest of life at such young age and some serious talking between you and your partner at how best to help resolve it. That may include looking elsewhere for the physical side. Not ideal, but can be done either openly or discreetly, depending on your relationship with partner

AndyBlue1975

Thanks again everyone.

I will not lie to you and the thought of getting my kicks elsewhere does pop in my mind from time to time.
But that is it, just a thought.
Could i carry it out?
I wouldn't have the gall.

I could not look into the eyes of my partner and my children, without feeling guilty.
And of course, there is a saying that goes something along the lines of, you kiss your children with that mouth.
Well, i wouldn't want to do that after kissing someone else.

missbiggles1

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I would definitely go for cheating in this situation or maybe you could arrange some sort of open marriage contract?

Or perhaps you could just see to your own sexual needs?

ripplyuk

svain wrote: »

Anyone who thinks otherwise has obviously not been in the same situation, has no libido themselves or just deluded.

I must be deluded then.

It has never occurred to me to cheat on my partner, and I've been dealing with the same issue as the OP long before I turned 30. How would that even work? It's not like sleeping with any random is going to be fulfilling in any way.

I must be old fashioned for my age.

fierystormcloud

svain wrote: »

Nothing selfish about the original post. Anyone who thinks otherwise has obviously not been in the same situation, has no libido themselves or just deluded.
Unconditional love takes a very special type of person who in their 30's is effectively giving up on on their physical relationship for potentially rest of their life and a very brave man to attempt it.
If things dont improve, in time there will be some uncomfortable truths. I dont think its realistic to expect abstinence for rest of life at such young age and some serious talking between you and your partner at how best to help resolve it. That may include looking elsewhere for the physical side. Not ideal, but can be done either openly or discreetly, depending on your relationship with partner

AndyBlue1975 wrote: »

Thanks again everyone.

I will not lie to you and the thought of getting my kicks elsewhere does pop in my mind from time to time.
But that is it, just a thought.
Could i carry it out?
I wouldn't have the gall.
I could not look into the eyes of my partner and my children, without feeling guilty.
And of course, there is a saying that goes something along the lines of, you kiss your children with that mouth.
Well, i wouldn't want to do that after kissing someone else.

I'll just leave these 2 here........... :cool:

svain

ripplyuk wrote: »

I must be deluded then.

It has never occurred to me to cheat on my partner, and I've been dealing with the same issue as the OP long before I turned 30. How would that even work? It's not like sleeping with any random is going to be fulfilling in any way.

I must be old fashioned for my age.

Good for you. That doesnt mean the same decision is right for others.

ripplyuk

svain wrote: »

Good for you. That doesnt mean the same decision is right for others.

I agree. They should stay single though.

Or, perhaps it would be better to make it clear to their partner, at the beginning of a relationship, that they'll cheat if their sexual 'needs' aren't being met.

I wonder what people like that would do if their partner had a bad accident and ended up paraplegic, or needed full time care, or had a stroke, or suffered from depression, etc. Or what if they just put on weight or got a bit wrinkly? Everyone has their 'deal breakers', as do I, but it's only fair that both parties know what they are, before committing to each other.

fierystormcloud

ripplyuk wrote: »

I agree. They should stay single though.

Or, perhaps it would be better to make it clear to their partner, at the beginning of a relationship, that they'll cheat if their sexual 'needs' aren't being met.

I wonder what people like that would do if their partner had a bad accident and ended up paraplegic, or needed full time care, or had a stroke, or suffered from depression, etc. Or what if they just put on weight or got a bit wrinkly? Everyone has their 'deal breakers', as do I, but it's only fair that both parties know what they are, before committing to each other.

Very good points ripply. :T