Family cant afford Christmas

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Unfortunately, the lesson they learn may not be the one you hope for.:(

Maybe not every time, no, but it does happen sometimes, I know that for a fact, and I will always always believe that kindness and compassion are a better way to change things than punishment and shaming, carrot not stick!

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

Maybe not every time, no, but it does happen sometimes, I know that for a fact, and I will always always believe that kindness and compassion are a better way to change things than punishment and shaming, carrot not stick!

I'm sure it does happen sometimes, which is great. However, it may not balance out with the negative effect it might have more often, unfortunately.

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm sure it does happen sometimes, which is great. However, it may not balance out with the negative effect it might have more often, unfortunately.[/QUOTEI]

I think it might turn out well more often than you think, hard to be sure, but as an example the family of 12 I knew all grew up to be hard working, all own their own houses, 2 of them have very successful businesses and quite a few of the grandchildren went to university. If you had seen the little ragtags they were back in the 1960s, but the policemen with the chocolate bars, the local shop that gave a few of them jobs over the years, an aunt who used to have them to stay (one at a time) so they could see a different way of life might have made the difference.

The thing I thought was lovely was when the older ones started work they bought the younger ones uniforms and PE kits so eventually they were more like the other kids.

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm sure it does happen sometimes, which is great. However, it may not balance out with the negative effect it might have more often, unfortunately.

I have no reason to believe that treating children kindly even if they have crap parents produces any kind of negative effect. I don't think it does, at all.

Bogof_Babe

This whole thread is reinforcing the message that Christmas is all about money, presents, over-eating.

It's about time this annual extravaganza of over-consumption was abolished!

enthusiasticsaver

I think that this is a wind up thread but on the odd chance it is real no I would not lend or give a family I was not keen on £500.

If I felt the situation was genuine and I wanted to help for the sake of the children a couple of carrier bags of groceries for Christmas dinner and a small present for each of the children would be a nice gesture.

My memories of Christmas are family time, playing games, watching Christmas tv and eating and drinking too much. This can all be done on a lot less than £500.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

The one time I lent somebody money 'for the children', I was in the corner shop an hour later, only to hear them come in, buy beer, vodka and cigarettes, then ask for credit so they could 'get the baby nappies'.


If this is real, b**locks to them. Nobody 'needs' £500 for Christmas. Even if they've been sanctioned, they'd need money to cover rent, electricity, etc (all of which could be paid for without actually putting a penny in their sweaty palms), not 'For Christmas'.

Poor_Single_lady

I couldn't reply yesterday. I was at work which should please a lot of posters "learnt my lesson"

My posts about love not being enough were based around children being at school and mixing with other children in the wilder world. Whilst they are at home it is a different concept.

To be clear I wasn't saying take away the love and just buy them things which is how it seems this was interpreted.

The person that thought I was saying children in Uk worth less than those aboard I have no idea what you are talking about.

But cloudy I see you would buy the kids a football. I liked that!

Basic gifts are enough to make the children feel that they are special and that people care about them but absolutely nothing extravagant.

And also to the people who said that poverty never did them any harm years or decades on. Agreed but this is an adult perspective to a children situation. It doesn't help them in the moment and the same could be said about a lot of factors of life.

Poor_Single_lady

Also my post about children going to school poor without Christmas gifts. Yes this is how the world is. It wasn't a general moan. It was a specific reply to the post before.

If people say children don't need a presents I think they should consider the reality of what that looks like. Rather than just an idea I think they should imagine what that actually looks like for real.
How that might be for those kids. Ones that don't go to private school.

Pollycat

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

And also to the people who said that poverty never did them any harm years or decades on. Agreed but this is an adult perspective to a children situation. It doesn't help them in the moment and the same could be said about a lot of factors of life.

I was one of the posters who said that:

Pollycat wrote: »

My best friend at school was an only child with a Dad with a well-paid job and had her grandad living with them.

She had anything she wanted.
I was the eldest of 3, we lived in a 2 bedroom terrace and we had very little.

It was hard at the time, desperately wanting a record player (or whatever) but knowing that there was no chance.
However, it didn't do me any harm in the long term.

And actually it did help me "in the moment".

It taught me that things were't always fair and that all people weren't equal.

It fired me to learn how to make my own clothes so that at least I could have some new clothes.
It taught me to budget what money I was given for birthdays and Christmas.
It taught me that I needed to work to aquire money. I was a paper girl, then a Saturday girl in a department store.

All this 'oh, we don't have sports days because the kids who can't run fast or jump high will be disappointed' is simply not preparing them for the adult world.