Family cant afford Christmas

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

I think we should consider whether the adults in this (probably fabricated) story have done everything they can to ensure their children have the best Christmas they can give them.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that Christmas Day is on 25th December.
Even on benefits, the adults should be able to budget throughout the year for this unmoving date.
A lot of people on benefits are better off financially that someone working for minimum wage would be.

To fund the Christmas of someone who is f e c kless is just putting sticking plaster over a broken leg.

Helping kids who have crappy parents surely shows them that there are adults who care? That there are kind, generous people in the world who want to do nice things for other people? That even if their parents don't seem bothered there are adults out there who give a damn what happens to them?

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

Helping kids who have crappy parents surely shows them that there are adults who care? That there are kind, generous people in the world who want to do nice things for other people? That even if their parents don't seem bothered there are adults out there who give a damn what happens to them?

Indeed.
That's why - 3 days ago - I said I would do this:

Pollycat wrote: »

Did they ask for £500 or is that the amount your wife is thinking about lending them?

I wouldn't lend them anything, you would be funding their smoking/drinking habits.

If they haven't asked for a specific amount, I might ask them if they would like me to buy them a turkey big enough to feed 2 adults and 3 kids and the trimmings.
I'd also buy the kids some chocolates.

But if they've asked for £500, they can go whistle.

The financial ineptitude of the parents need addressing - for the benefit of those children, otherwise this family will come cap-in-hand this time next year.
Doing nice things for the children at Christmas-time isn't going to make their lives any better during the remaining 364 days.

This does not sound like a family who are struggling in silence but desperately want to give their children the best they can.
They sound like a family who think asking a friend to lend them some money - maybe £500 or maybe not - is perefectly acceptable.

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

The financial ineptitude of the parents need addressing

How is that ever going to happen though? Nobody outside has the power or influence to get them to become sensible, caring parents! Social services are firefighting, the Surestart centres are closed...

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

That's a lovely Christmas story!

What about child 3 who gets a £5 football but his dad is in prison and his mum is drunk and there's nobody to play with?

This dichotomy of 'materially rich but distant' and 'materially poor but salt of the earth and loving' doesn't actually exist, comforting as it may be to imagine. Most parents are loving, however much or little they have, and if your parents are crap then they're crap and you have a really raw deal however rich or poor they are.

I wondered about child three, too. I don't really know what can be done about that if no-one realises. Some people just get dealt a cr4Py hand I guess. Don't know why.

Buying them presents at Christmas is better than nothing I suppose, but ideally one should befriend those children all the time. Just throwing money at the parents won't help.

I have a friend who had a childhood in similar circumstances to this. That person was 'saved' by the intervention of a concerned teacher who saw their potential and helped them to realise it.

Not everyone has a 'concerned teacher' in their lives.

Don't know what can be done, wish I did.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

How is that ever going to happen though? Nobody outside has the power or influence to get them to become sensible, caring parents! Social services are firefighting, the Surestart centres are closed...

It's certainly never going to happen if someone is willing to bung them £500 to fund their Christmas.

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

It's certainly never going to happen if someone is willing to bung them £500 to fund their Christmas.

Why do you think that? Do you think that is the one thing preventing them becoming financially savvy and loving parents?

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

Why do you think that? Do you think that is the one thing preventing them becoming financially savvy and loving parents?

No I think in the illustration given (one parent in prison and the other drunk), that any extra money will go into the parents' coffers, and the children will see none of it.

(Sorry, I thought your post was addressed to me and it isn't.).

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

Why do you think that? Do you think that is the one thing preventing them becoming financially savvy and loving parents?

Was that a serious question? :rotfl:

If the parents know they can just tap up a friend who will lend them £500 to 'afford presents/food etc' then they have zero incentive to change their habits.

mumps

Pollycat wrote: »

I think we should consider whether the adults in this (probably fabricated) story have done everything they can to ensure their children have the best Christmas they can give them.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that Christmas Day is on 25th December.
Even on benefits, the adults should be able to budget throughout the year for this unmoving date.
A lot of people on benefits are better off financially that someone working for minimum wage would be.

To fund the Christmas of someone who is f e c kless is just putting sticking plaster over a broken leg.

If you are the child maybe knowing that someone was willing to give you the sticking plaster helps? The family of 12 I referred to never changed, the dad was always workshy, always took the lions share of the benefits for himself, his wife was timid and not too bright. Her kids had hardly anything, were repeatedly punished at school for not having the right uniform, banned from PE for not having the right kit, always hungry, always dirty. One decent Christmas might have been amazing for them even if it was just a sticking plaster.

mumps

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

No I think in the illustration given (one parent in prison and the other drunk), that any extra money will go into the parents' coffers, and the children will see none of it.

(Sorry, I thought your post was addressed to me and it isn't.).

That is why it would be good to give the kids presents, buy some food, offer to do something nice for them. When my husband was a young detective he visited a family that had a problem, can't remember why he went, he said the family were nice but hard up and the kids didn't have much. He became the nice policeman who took them a toy, a book and a selection box for several years. I hope they enjoyed them and I hope it made them see that there are people who care but if nothing else the kids actually had something.

He took them every Christmas for both children, I didn't make that very clear.