How to get Teens off Gaming

Flyonthewall

Red Alert is a strategy war game. So player 2 would be second in command as a soldier. Player 1 would be first in command.

It's easy to forget if you're used to certain terms that not everyone will understand them.

Spendless

I've got a 16yo son and could have written much of your post over the years.

I have to agree with many of the points made on here. If you son is coming off at set times that's something positive to look at. I'm guessing he does his homework then?

We found my son's temper was much improved when we started engaging with him. There aren't many teenage boys I know that refuse food , so budget allowing take him out for something to eat. If money is tight look for 2 for 1 deals, go to a fast food place and eat in. Mine even likes going for a coffee. We found out son 'opened up' more both on the journey there and back and for the duration we were out.

We encouraged his interest in computers, by suggesting a career path in them we thought he might be interested in and he's currently on a college course. This one (it's not his college just the first hit I found for the same course)

https://kingston-college.ac.uk/subject/computing-it/btec-level-3-extended-diploma-in-it

Ask your son what he wants to do when he leaves school. They'll start with that process less than 12 months from now, when he goes into yr11, applying for sixth forms, looking round colleges etc.

If you have any relatives asking what to get him for Christmas suggest something that gets him out of the house eg cinema gift voucher, just to do something different for a change.

LannieDuck

My OH's parents used to tell him "you'll never get anywhere sitting in front of that thing all day". He's now a computer games designer and university lecturer


(And as an aside, Minecraft is effectively digital lego - brilliant for spatial reasoning. And there are mods using it to teach you to how to programme. You can even build a working computer inside Minecraft!)

onlyroz

Have you tried bribery? E.g. buy him some Fifa coins if he goes a few days without playing.

theoretica

I think getting him off gaming is the wrong focus as it is negative. Is there something you want him to do as well? Better grades? Exercise for health? Civility to family? You could offer a pact where you will stop commenting on his gaming if he does them.

mutley74

Thanks for all the advice, quite interesting to hear the differing views.

For those questioning if i know what game entails and skills etc - yes i do. I think gaming is a great way for kids to improve technology and response skills and more spatial awareness when playing walkthrough style games. I used to play with my son a few years back the Uncharted series at Xmas time. But the long days playing got to me and i found i could not sleep at times, and same for him. He used to get visions, bad sleep nights etc....
I stopped playing as it was addictive too. I used to play Fifa with him some years back, and found i wanted to play more than he did - this is a few years ago now.
I broke the habit and decided not to play anymore as i have too many other jobs to do.

I had to get professional help involved as his behaviour & health was going down, it was for his own good. He used to take many days off school saying he is "ill" "headaches" etc.. So i am sure any other parent would do the same when nothing else works at home.
If i switch his wifi off at night time he becomes abusive.

He was very good at swimming and other hobbies, but i feel he left them as he could not go for more than 24hrs playing on console. I cannot say everything as this is a open forum.
I dont think any parent wants their kids to be sitting on the back side all day, 7 days a week, whatever it is they are doing, and expect this as "hobby".

Thanks for all the replies again, some food for thought, and I presume also from some honest replies from parents who have been through this like me too.

mutley74

Flyonthewall wrote: »

He's being abusive when he can't play, playing until exhausted and has dropped all other hobbies and won't do any new ones. They're signs of addiction.

It's something that's been happening for a few years so at the very least it's not healthy to continue to play until exhausted constantly.

I love games and they do have many positives, but that doesn't mean that it's harmless for everyone.

If it were any other hobby the same would be said - you can get addicted to anything and if you are addicted that's not healthy regardless of what it is.

People have died from being addicted to games. They keep playing and don't look after themselves. They don't sleep and they don't eat or drink because they don't want to leave their game. He's already not sleeping properly/enough. Hopefully it won't go further than that.

If they're good and can and want to make something out of gaming then it would be sad if people told them to give up something they loved, but it's one thing spending hours gaming and still having a life and be looking after yourself and it's another to be worn out, abusive and give up on everything else to just game all day everyday.

i think you have understood my concerns fully. Part of what you saying is what I am experiencing with him.
for example playing non stop on weekends/school holidays from midday to past midnight maybe with 1-2hrs break (if that sometimes) for lunch is his typical routine.

missbiggles1

Flyonthewall wrote: »

Red Alert is a strategy war game. So player 2 would be second in command as a soldier. Player 1 would be first in command.

It's easy to forget if you're used to certain terms that not everyone will understand them.

Thank you.

WibblyGirly

I used to spend all my free time at 15 gaming, once I left college and got a full time job I had to cut down.
He'll probably outgrow the 'hardcore' gaming as he gets older and his friends start doing other things. I still game now but not every day or even every week.

Flyonthewall

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Thank you.

I assume player 1 would be first in command anyway, would make sense if playing 2 player lol. Never played the game, just read odd things on it. Player 1 always gets best controller and best character :P

Course, if player single player and just trying to involve the kid then they'd be second in command in theory (i.e. just helping out their Dad as he played).