How to get Teens off Gaming

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spadoosh wrote: »

I used to stay up with my old man playing red alert till midnight, i was his 2ic. Some of the greatest memories so far of me and my dad.

I got my love of text adventures from my parents! They used to play them on my MSX and Spectrum after I went to bed - until I solved an anagram they'd been puzzling over and then we played together.

Apparently they thought I'd find them boring. I think it helped that I loved reading even as a kid

HBS x

spadoosh

Pixie5740 wrote: »

My ignorance? I'm the one who knows the difference between kicking a football and pressing some buttons.

I very much doubt that Cristian Ronaldo or Paula Radcliffe deprive themselves of sleep in order to play football or run otherwise they wouldn't perform very well unlike the OP's son who is not getting enough sleep which is probably contributing towards his behavioural problems.

Youre ignorance is to dumb it down. There is plenty of evidence showing plenty of benefits of gaming (just like there is evidence to suggest theres bad parts). There is skill involved, co-ordination, problem solving, reactions and experience how is that different than being a footballer or runner.

I quite often here of the sacrifice that high profile professionals have to make to get to the top. In fact most seem quite keen to say hard work and dedication.

My mates a big wig solicitor earning hundreds of thousands, he always looks knackered and has always (from the age of about 12) spent riddiculous hours studying. Hes working 60+ hour weeks. I dont think thats healthy. Most people think hes a huge success (i do to be fair his dedication to what he want to do is inspirational).

Im done in this thread cant imagine theres much more i can say. Oooo good analogy though. Its always easier (and better) to work with the grain than against it.

Flyonthewall

spadoosh wrote: »

So are sports people addicts? Is Christiano Ronaldo an addict? Paula Radcliffe?

Do they spend all their time doing that one sport and not eating, drinking, sleeping or anything else other than that? No? Then they're not addicts.

It's one thing dedicated your life to be good at something, it's totally different when you do literally nothing else. That's when it becomes an addiction.

I dont do any new hobbies, i like the ones i have. Does that mean im addicted to the ones i have.

Course not.

Liking something and doing it a lot doesn't mean your addicted. One thing that takes over your life, stops you doing anything else, causes anger/bad/depressed behaviour when taken away, results you not doing the basic things needed to survive (eat, drink, sleep) is addiction.

Your argument is about responsibilities not his hobby. Yes i completely agree if someone doesnt look after themselves its not responsible that why you educate your child about responsibilities not what they should and shouldnt be doing with 'their time'. Hows it any different than say someone spending 30 hrs doing an assignment at uni which is commonly accepted. When people pump themselves full of caffeine and sugar to soldier through?

If you get addicted to something then no matter what you're taught it's hard to fight it. Knowing how to be responsible doesn't stop you becoming addicted to something. No one chooses to become an addict.

Teenagers tend to be abusive (upset/frustrated) when they get told they cant do something. Whether thats wearing make up, listening to music, playing games, going to the park at 10pm.

True. From a later post from the OP it reads more like they just don't like gaming and think they should be doing something else like going outside and playing sports. In which case, I get his frustration. It's wrong to be abusive, but there's nothing wrong with gaming as a hobby and OP may just not understand the hobby.

The first post reads differently, as though he gets abusive when he can't game and is showing signs of addiction.

So it's unclear whether there is an issue with the gaming or just the OP not understanding the hobby.

iammumtoone

Flyonthewall wrote: »

So it's unclear whether there is an issue with the gaming or just the OP not understanding the hobby.

I think this could be some of it. I do feel for the OP it is hard, I am not a gamer my nine year old loves gaming (in fact I can see him like the OPs son when he gets to 15). It is hard as a parent as all you read is how bad computers/gaming are but as others have pointed out this is not quite the case it can be social and problem solving.

Part of the problem is I don't understand it, when I was his age, we had to go out to chat with friends and play outside, there was nothing else to do.

I am trying to understand what he likes and do sit with him to watch/play sometimes and feign an interest when being shown his latest creation on mine craft. If I do that I then get him to do an activity with me of my choosing.

He does have boundaries. I have learnt it is much better rather than just to tell him to stop and get off, I give him a warning and say he has to stop at the next available point he can, he will do this and lets me know when he is done (its never more than 10 minutes). I relate this to if I am reading a book I like to stop at the next chapter not midway through one!

missbiggles1

spadoosh wrote: »

The perfect way to a life of resenting your parents.

I used to stay up with my old man playing red alert till midnight, i was his 2ic. Some of the greatest memories so far of me and my dad.

I remember the christmas eve my mum was balling her eyes out because she had ordered a ps2 that wouldnt show up for xmas. She wasnt a huge fan of games but it was reassuring and devastating at the same time that she just wanted to make me happy. That day will live with me until i die and i can only hope that i could offer the same to my daughter.

I'd love to play games with her. But if she want to play dolls ill do that, if she wants to become a beauty queen ill help her, if she wants to be a professional footballer ill put all my effort into giving her every opportunity, if she wants to ban computer games ill help her work out a way of trying to do it.

I have no idea what that means but can't help thinking he would have done better to help you with your English homework.:D

missbiggles1

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Second in command?

Possibly, but of what?

Why should people have to guess what somebody means just because they can't be bothered to communicate properly.

Flyonthewall

iammumtoone wrote: »

Part of the problem is I don't understand it, when I was his age, we had to go out to chat with friends and play outside, there was nothing else to do.

Yeah. Chatting and socialising can be done online now. It's just a new way of socialising.

I am trying to understand what he likes and do sit with him to watch/play sometimes and feign an interest when being shown his latest creation on mine craft. If I do that I then get him to do an activity with me of my choosing.

Minecraft isn't the most exciting game to watch lol.

He does have boundaries. I have learnt it is much better rather than just to tell him to stop and get off, I give him a warning and say he has to stop at the next available point he can, he will do this and lets me know when he is done (its never more than 10 minutes). I relate this to if I am reading a book I like to stop at the next chapter not midway through one!

Yeah, exactly. A lot of games have save points. Some games will allow you to save anytime but a lot have set points where you can save all progress so far. You have to complete the ochapter or mission in order to be able to save (place a digital bookmark, you could say).

If you want to try and understand better why not play a game with him? I'd highly recommend the Lego games. Lego Indiana Jones is great (even if you don't like the films!). You can play as the second character, him as the first. There's things to solve and they're good fun for kids and adults.

Your son, being the gamer, will no doubt be able to figure out what to do and help you out. He can do the more complicated moves (getting up to a platform, for example) and you can help out (pulling a lever - a simple button press - or standing on a specific square to unlock something, for example.). As you get used to it you can help more and you can figure out puzzles or where to go together.

heartbreak_star

It seems logical that 2IC is second-in-command...

HBS x

Quizzical_Squirrel

heartbreak_star wrote: »

It seems logical that 2IC is second-in-command...

HBS x

Thanks, Spock.

heartbreak_star

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Thanks, Spock.

You're welcome

(I did read that in Spock's voice after you posted the comment though! :rotfl:)

I do agree with an above poster that banning the games is probably not the answer here. A compromise needs to be found.

(And I am STILL reading in Spock's voice...!)

HBS x