How to get Teens off Gaming

mutley74

My teen is on his gaming console each evening, straight after school, until around 7ish, then all Friday night, sometimes all day Saturday until 1-2am, and all day Sunday.


I have tried many things to entice him to try a new hobby, distribute his time with other things etc. He has worn himself out with tiredness, he has seen doctors, therapists etc., because of some behaviour problems etc. (Which I think are partly due to over gaming and late nights for a few years now).


Before anyone shoots me down, I have tried asking him/ and cutting off wifi/ hiding consoles etc...which I do he rebels with rowdy/abusive behaviour (used to be aggressive before). As a result I have had to give in, as his teenager tantrums were affecting my health and work (try asking a teenager at midnight to switch off and go to bed!).


I do feel so sad for him, as he wont take up new hobbies (stopped swimming, playing guitar etc) to just play games. And when he does not play games he is on his tablet watching other gamers. He has no interest to even watch a movie or football anymore.


All school holidays he spends at least 3/4 time gaming, he does visit friends, but to play games with them, sometimes he goes out with friends to the park. I am dreading the Xmas holidays, as he will happily stay in 2 weeks non-stop gaming.

Any advice what other parents do? (bearing in mind I have been around the houses with doctors, counsellors for help).

Proxima_Centauri

By teenager, do you mean 13-14 or 18-19? It is an addiction, by the sound of it. Abusive behaviour should not be tolerated. You can either leave him to it for a quiet life and hope that in time he will grow out of it, or you can confiscate it completely.

mutley74

he is 15 year 10.
by me stop asking him to cut out games or turning wifi off, has made him part calmer. I give him credit last weekend I did ask him to switch off at 1130pm and he did, but then sits on his tablet watching gamers on U - tube!

FredG

Sounds like he definitely has a strongly anchored addiction there. We all used to game a lot when I was a kid but never to the detriment of going out to socialise, playing sport etc.


It's gonna be really difficult to pull him back with the tough love style approach so he's gonna need an alternative. Is there anything else he has shown passion for in the past that you can encourage him towards?

Pixie5740

Take his console off him. It doesn't sound as if all this gaming is doing him any good. Yes, he might become abusive but that should (hopefully) only be in the short term. If he does become abusive don't shout, you won't be able to get him to control his aggression if you can't control your own. If he won't calm down then just walk away. If he gets physical walk away and if you leaving the room doesn't help when there's violence phone the police.

Pixie5740

mutley74 wrote: »

but then sits on his tablet watching gamers on U - tube!

So turn the wifi off, then he won't be able to sit and watch things on YouTube.

[LINKS REMOVED]

Which of the suggestions made back then have you tried?

fairy_lights

mutley74 wrote: »

My teen is on his gaming console each evening, straight after school, until around 7ish, then all Friday night, sometimes all day Saturday until 1-2am, and all day Sunday.

What does he do when he stops gaming at 7? Is he managing to stay on top of his school work?
It sounds like he still has a social life if he's gaming with friends and occasionally going to the park with them so it's not as detrimental to his life as it could be.

Pixie5740

Depending on the game you could take a leaf out this Chinese father's book.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-20931304

heartbreak_star

Some of my social life IS through gaming - I play LoL and Skype my pals while I do it...is he doing similar?

HBS x

Flyonthewall

Gaming has advantages, but as he's playing constantly and giving up other hobbies and interests it sounds like he's addicted which is bad.

His gaming time needs to be limited or stopped (at least for now), but you'll need to find something to replace that which he'll enjoy. It'll be tough, but if he doesn't stop it'll only get worse.

Does he like board games? There are board games based on video games. Assassin's Creed, Uncharted, Fallout themed monopoly, bioshock, super mario chess and numerous others.

There's also graphic novels/comics and other books based on video games. Uncharted, Assassin's Creed, Halo, God of War and more.

It would be a way for him to leave the console alone and stop looking at a screen while still doing something related to the games he enjoys.

Do check which games he likes though before buying books or board games relating to games. For example, if he's an xbox gamer he may not be so keen on an Uncharted game or novel or if he loves Call of Duty he may not be so keen on something Halo related.

I would also try and chat with him about why he games so much. Is something bothering him? Is he using video games to escape something in his life or is he trying to get a sense of achievement he feels he's not getting in life perhaps?

It may be that he just really loves gaming, but it's possible there is something more to it as he has stopped doing other things he, I assume, enjoyed previously.

onomatopoeia99

Though I don't play any more, having made one of my closest friends through online gaming, I find it difficult to see a problem with it as a hobby.

HIs disobedience and bad behaviour are not acceptable, but neither is complaining about his choice of hobby. So what if he prefers gaming to swimming or watching football? Why does he need new hobbies when he has found one he enjoys?

I suppose at 15 he could be out hanging around on street corners and conspiring with a young woman to make you into a grandma instead.