How to get Teens off Gaming

LannieDuck

What sort of games are they? If they're fantasy MMOs, you could try getting him into role-playing (table-top or LARPing are both good - LARPing has the added benefit of running around outdoors).

Andrew_Ryan_89

Nothing wrong with gaming as the primary recreation, especially as a teenager. With all the online play, it's actually quite a social event. Him throwing tantrums is annoying but if you would not complain if he was out running around or playing his guitar, then you shouldn't be upset that he's playing video games.

Hell, a kid just the other day won $250k in a video game competition. Maybe that could be him!

spadoosh

Pfft addiction. Sounds exactly like me at his age.

If it was a different hobby would you be as bothered? Ok maybe not trombone but if his hobby was say football and he was constantly doing that or if hobby was su doku and he was constantly doing that would you feel differently?

When i wasnt on games consoles at that age i was on the park drinking white lightning.

Not a big fan of regrets but something i would do differntly is ignore every one who told me i was wasting my life doing it. The only thing ive found to do since is waste my life in different ways.

ETA even if its something he doesnt/cant make a career out of its something he enjoys doing. Let him enjoy himself, the world will slap him back down to earth at some point.

I started making tiny bits of money from it and was pretty damn good. Pressured to cut right back and now left wondering what mightve been, couldve been doing a career i would never stop enjoying instead of number crunching.

I was made to feel bad about doing something i enjoy.

Maybe try encouraging it and he wouldnt feel the need to spend every second he can get on it for fear of having it taken away.

Gaming is a huge industry and extends far beyond just gaming with massive opportunities. Applied right, like any hobby, doesnt mean wasting his life.

Proxima_Centauri

spadoosh wrote: »

Pfft addiction. Sounds exactly like me at his age.

If it was a different hobby would you be as bothered? Ok maybe not trombone but if his hobby was say football and he was constantly doing that or if hobby was su doku and he was constantly doing that would you feel differently?

Yes, I would think doing sudoku (and nothing else) all day and into the night till 2am was a bit strange too!

Dird

OP what are your daily hobbies besides TV & Internet? A lot of people look down on people playing games but then their whole evening is consumed by watching TV in silence, an even less sociable option

When I was 15 I just started playing an online game & fell in love with it, playing 6-8 hours/day, more on weekends. At 16 I was in a "clan" so chatting on voicecomms & using teamwork to win. 12 years later I still play the same game online (have yet to find a game I enjoy more) although not as often.

I basically banned myself near GCSE time without parents requesting it. Unless your son's grades have dropped since he started playing regularly then just let him be

He could be the next 20x world champion fatal1ty

mutley74

He has a new Xbox, so only has 3 games inc Fifa 17, He is communicating with friends online (he used to be on his ps3 all the time).
Mid week he stops around 7pm, has his tea, sometimes a bit of token homework (very occasional) then just sits on his tablet, shower and bed around 1030-11ish. Sometimes midweek he does go back on the Xbox around 9pm, he tell me "for a break".
I dont mind him playing, but he plays daily, and longer hours on weekend.
Its a problem for me at the weekends as i get to bed early and i can hear him talking to his friends which wakes me up many times. I have tried many times explaining this to him and via his counsellors, but he does not seem to realise its problem.
I know some here might "blame" me as his parent for letting this happen. But when i tried so much to help him with lots of professional help nothing would work.
Why i am asking for advice....as i think just having one concentrated hobby in front of a TV daily is not very healthy or encouraging to his wellbeing. What happened to the days when kids would watch/play sports or some other physical or active hobby.

spadoosh

Proxima_Centauri wrote: »

Yes, I would think doing sudoku (and nothing else) all day and into the night till 2am was a bit strange too!

Whilst playing games is 'one' thing. Playing a football match, capturing a flag, solving a quest, exploring new lands and racing your mates is many. The boy can even listen to music, chat with a friend (whilst not playing anything) watch tv, youtube, movies.

There are pros and cons of gaming like any hobby (climbing is expensive and dangerous but improves fitness and coordination). I cant see the responsibility of the parent of a child that age being anything other than ensuring they know the pros and cons. The problem here is the parent im fairly sure will only focus on the cons and will never pick up on the pros.

Rachel83

I'd be turning the WiFi off regardless of any tantrums... He'll have to find something else to occupy his time,whats going to happen when hes at an age where he can go out and find a job? Are you going to continue to let him sit all weekend on games. He learns from the set of rules you put into place from day one.

fairy_lights

mutley74 wrote: »

I have tried many times explaining this to him and via his counsellors, but he does not seem to realise its problem.

I think there's a danger here that you're making this in to a much bigger problem than it needs to be - getting counsellors involved is only going to make him feel like he's being ganged up on.
Not everyone is sporty or outdoorsy, or has physical hobbies, you might not like that your son is so in to gaming but that's the way it is. He might grow out of it, he might get a girlfriend and suddenly lose interest, or he might not - I work in IT and have adult colleagues who spend most of their spare time gaming.
If he's talking loudly to a friend while he's gaming and it's keeping you awake then that's a problem that needs addressing - not the gaming itself.

spadoosh

mutley74 wrote: »

He has a new Xbox, so only has 3 games inc Fifa 17, He is communicating with friends online (he used to be on his ps3 all the time).
Mid week he stops around 7pm, has his tea, sometimes a bit of token homework (very occasional) then just sits on his tablet, shower and bed around 1030-11ish. Sometimes midweek he does go back on the Xbox around 9pm, he tell me "for a break".
I dont mind him playing, but he plays daily, and longer hours on weekend.
Its a problem for me at the weekends as i get to bed early and i can hear him talking to his friends which wakes me up many times. I have tried many times explaining this to him and via his counsellors, but he does not seem to realise its problem.
I know some here might "blame" me as his parent for letting this happen. But when i tried so much to help him with lots of professional help nothing would work.
Why i am asking for advice....as i think just having one concentrated hobby in front of a TV daily is not very healthy or encouraging to his wellbeing. What happened to the days when kids would watch/play sports or some other physical or active hobby.

Youre frustrating me i cant imagine what youre doing to him. Youre lack of comprehension as to his passion for his hobby is exactly why he reacts with hostility towards you.

Embrace it, ask him to show you how to play, ask him what games hes playing, ask him how hes getting on with it instead of whinging about why hes not playing football. The answer is obvious... he doesnt want to.

Encourage his hobby whilst maintaining he carries responsibility (school work, family chores etc).

Stop trying to change your son it will improve BOTH of your's wellbeing.