Absolutely crushed by what I've seen. Need advice on what to do. :(

onomatopoeia99

Guest101 wrote: »

You're playing RPGs presumably, role-playing, it may not be 'real'

Have you played a MMORPG seriously? It sounds like you haven't. The number of "roleplayers" in the sense you imply is very small. I'd venture that it's much, much smaller than the number of people that portray a persona they've created on forums.

onomatopoeia99

emberlyn wrote: »

I don't really have many friends as I'm an introvert...

I'm also an introvert, though didn't understand that meant something other than"very shy" until I was past my 30th birthday, but I completely understand everything you wrote in that post. Doesn't matter what people you know at college think, or even any of us, it only matters what you think. Just take your time until you are sure. If he genuinely likes you he'll give you all the time you need and not put pressure on.

I differ from you in that I do have three close friends that I can tell anything to, one that's from school even though it's almost 30 years since we both left, one from work, and one that I met over a decade ago through the Everquest guild I belonged to (and she is exactly the same offline as she was in game, except fot not actually being able to cast "Complete Heal" :rotfl:). So that's three in 47 years old life so far - you have a lot of time to make them, whether online or off.

Mr.Generous

I've seen a relationship like this develop between a bloke I used to work with and a young girl, none stop messaging and online chat, gets very intense - but unfortunately over very quickly. You are going to get hurt, how can either of you have the time to be talking and messaging all day, its going to take a toll somewhere. It comes across that you are both acting in a very immature way.

onomatopoeia99

Mr.Generous wrote: »

I've seen a relationship like this develop between a bloke I used to work with and a young girl, none stop messaging and online chat, gets very intense - but unfortunately over very quickly.

Or sometimes it morphs and grows into something strong and lasting - none of us can tell.

emberlyn

Thank you onomatopoeia. Yeah, he really isn't putting pressure on me at all. He's not like the typical guy who is after sex. He doesn't even seem that sexually driven. He told me to let him know when I'm ready but that there is no rush at all. That tells me he does care.

And I'm honestly feeling mixed opinions about the texts to his ex. Part of me worries he still isn't over due to the constant texts with no response from her, but the other part of me wonders if he really is just trying to be caring as a friend would and reassuring her. He is a sensitive person after all and this is the first time he's dumped anyone.

justme111

So you think it was good and caring of him to tell her he misses her after he dropped her and keep prodding her ?

emberlyn

justme111 wrote: »

So you think it was good and caring of him to tell her he misses her after he dropped her and keep prodding her ?

Well I'm just thinking of the type of person he is. He always does tasks for people in the guild and tries to help everyone out when possible. He wants to be a good person and he feels guilty very easily and finds it hard to say no. I'm starting to think that perhaps it makes him feel bad having silence between them and wanted to send her words of comfort because he feels sorry for her.

LKRDN_Morgan

emberlyn wrote: »

Well I'm just thinking of the type of person he is. He always does tasks for people in the guild and tries to help everyone out when possible. He wants to be a good person and he feels guilty very easily and finds it hard to say no. I'm starting to think that perhaps it makes him feel bad having silence between them and wanted to send her words of comfort because he feels sorry for her.

Emberlyn this is painfully naive of you

emberlyn

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

Emberlyn this is painfully naive of you

Can I ask why?

I think you guys are going to have to be blunt with me.

Angry_Bear

emberlyn wrote: »

Well I'm just thinking of the type of person he is. He always does tasks for people in the guild and tries to help everyone out when possible. He wants to be a good person and he feels guilty very easily and finds it hard to say no. I'm starting to think that perhaps it makes him feel bad having silence between them and wanted to send her words of comfort because he feels sorry for her.

Breaking up with someone is never nice for anyone, and if they're struggling to get over it repeatedly messageing them and telling them you miss them blah blah blah is just trying to keep them dangling on a hook.
It's not done because one person "feels sorry" for the other one, but because they want that other person still dangling around.
Perhaps he's lying to himself about his own motivation, but it sounds like he's treating his ex very badly, and possibly you too but that remains to be seen.