Stolen barclaycard £1400 - help!

Andypandyboy

OP you must be very upset by all of this, but please think carefully about the circumstances here, none of the details add up. We have had our account debited several times fraudulently, and in all cases the bank rang us, told us where the card had been used and for how much. In all cases the money was back in our account in a very short period.

The bottom line is that unless you were with your OH on that night then he is not being truthful. I suspect deep down you know this, but understandably don't want to face it.

Put simply, if you don't this will always be festering under the surface of your relationship, and will come out at some point. Don't let that be several years, several kids and a mortgage down the line.

Address it now and either move past it or call a halt to the relationship if you can't do that. He hasn't cheated but he has been very devious if he is spinning you all the "details" you have given in your OP, when the reality is quite different.

m4rc

Agree with the majority here, OP this isn't cheating as some might imply, anyone who thinks you can 'cheat' at a place like that is naive - you'd be lucky to get a peck on the cheek. Not that I've been, I'm just not naive.

Many guys visit these places with their mates, it's not that huge a deal apart from the fact they are basically a scam to get as much money from people just like your other half. They will charge ridiculous amount spent of money for nothing, the drink is cheap in quality but ridiculous in price, but question it and you can leave. They don't want people in there who are not going to make them a lot of money.

Barclaycard (not Barclays Bank, two different numbers although the bank can be contacted way outside 9 to 5 too) have phone lines open from 8am 7 days a week, and they are open until 9 on 6 of those days. If your partner is working 8-9 7 days a week 52 weeks a year I'd suggest he probably isn't actually working hose hours at all and you actually have a much bigger problem.

He knows if he calls them when you are with him they will give him the answers he already knows and you don't want to hear within a few seconds. They know when and where a card is used better than any cardholder. I can't remember most of my transactions unless they are big, it sjust not important generally, it's just my monthly spends, I'd spot if something strange looking popped up, and if I asked them they would tell me immediately. I know because I've done it, and with Barclaycard. I've had a few transactions I didn't recognise, called them and they tell me when, where, and how I spent the money, some were online, they even jog your memory saying 'it was a Sunday evening' others were in small shops I would have just been passing and popped into or an out of town petrol station I'd forgotten about. It's good to be able to put your mind at ease.

I've had Barclaycard block fraudulent transactions twice. Each time I got a text saying they had cancelled my card, they had blocked my card and wanted me to call a number. I did and had an automated message asking for my date of birth and to press 1, 2 or 3 formthe correct answer to a security question. I hen had a message saying they had cancelled the card as they had detected fraud. I didn't get told more but could have rung to ask. They said a new card would be sent ASAP, and they arrived within a couple of days, same pin but obviously new card numbers. Easy and painless. I did wonder what the fraud was but a short I didn't have to pay for it and it was all sorted I thought it would be something else to wonder and worry about so I didn't bother to call.

I've never noticed something that turned out to be fraudulent on a Barclaycard but I did on another card, that was dealt with in no time, one quick call, a letter to me and it had been sorted out.

It could alll be genuine, but from the details you are giving us all here it isn't, as the facts simply don't work. He can call them easily out of work hours, or on a Sunday or bank holiday. Fraud cases take days or weeks not months. You write to FOS you don't call. If a transaction is genuinely being investigated you don't pay for it unless they decide it's yours to pay, in which case it's finished not an open case. He has a right to appeal any closed case. And so on. Lastly of course a lap dancing club isn't cheating, many wives and partners let their partners go to them for stag dos and the like. What IS wrong is not being honest with your partner, he owes you complete honesty. If you are being totally honest with us then I can absolutely guarantee he isn't being at all honest with you.

You don't want to their it, but that's the only answer there is, we can't give credit card advice against Barclaycard as they haven't spend your partners money in a lap dancing club. This isn't a relationship advice service either, so I can't and won't tell you what to do about it, but if you've given us all the details you have I promise your issue isn't with Barclaycard.

Best wishes

SnowTiger

el.char123 wrote: »

And someone mentioned you can communicate with barclaycard via writing? How do we do this please as this would be extremely helpful.

Details are on the back of every Barclaycard statement.

Details about how to complain here: https://www.barclaycard.co.uk/personal/help-and-support/complaints.

Ben8282

Actually, I don't think the boyfriend was at the lap dancing club at all. The clue is in the OP where it says 'he rang again to be told they had closed the case as assumed he had accepted liability!'.
I believe the card was used in the lap dancing club by a person who had the card and the PIN number in their possession under circumstances which would make the cardholder liable. The response about their having assumed that he had accepted liability fits in with this scenario.
The rest is all cover as your boyfriend does not want to admit what he has done/how foolish he has been.

meer53

Ben8282 wrote: »

Actually, I don't think the boyfriend was at the lap dancing club at all. The clue is in the OP where it says 'he rang again to be told they had closed the case as assumed he had accepted liability!'.
I believe the card was used in the lap dancing club by a person who had the card and the PIN number in their possession under circumstances which would make the cardholder liable. The response about their having assumed that he had accepted liability fits in with this scenario.
The rest is all cover as your boyfriend does not want to admit what he has done/how foolish he has been.

I read that as the boyfriend accepting liability by admitting he was in the club that night.

glentoran99

Ben8282 wrote: »

Actually, I don't think the boyfriend was at the lap dancing club at all. The clue is in the OP where it says 'he rang again to be told they had closed the case as assumed he had accepted liability!'.
I believe the card was used in the lap dancing club by a person who had the card and the PIN number in their possession under circumstances which would make the cardholder liable. The response about their having assumed that he had accepted liability fits in with this scenario.
The rest is all cover as your boyfriend does not want to admit what he has done/how foolish he has been.

What has he done then if not fabricated the whole story?

PeacefulWaters

Ben8282 wrote: »

Actually, I don't think the boyfriend was at the lap dancing club at all. The clue is in the OP where it says 'he rang again to be told they had closed the case as assumed he had accepted liability!'.
I believe the card was used in the lap dancing club by a person who had the card and the PIN number in their possession under circumstances which would make the cardholder liable. The response about their having assumed that he had accepted liability fits in with this scenario.
The rest is all cover as your boyfriend does not want to admit what he has done/how foolish he has been.

While not impossible, that's one hell of a long shot.

Robin9

Ben8282 wrote: »

Actually, I don't think the boyfriend was at the lap dancing club at all. The clue is in the OP where it says 'he rang again to be told they had closed the case as assumed he had accepted liability!'.
I believe the card was used in the lap dancing club by a person who had the card and the PIN number in their possession under circumstances which would make the cardholder liable. The response about their having assumed that he had accepted liability fits in with this scenario.
The rest is all cover as your boyfriend does not want to admit what he has done/how foolish he has been.

If he did let one of his mates borrow his card and PIN then he is lucky still to have a CC account with any provider.

That may be good for him.

societys_child

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

While not impossible, that's one hell of a long shot.

. . . a fertile imagination lol

MrsTinks

Firstly - can we all remember that MSE is supposed to be constructive and not (too) judgemental?

Secondly - OP - it IS possible that your BF's card was stole. It is possible he had his PIN with the card or it was easy to guess. It could be that they used the "customer not present" option when running the card through (so in essence the same as a phone purchase) and it could be a forged signature (especially if the cards signature was worn/faint/not signed and someone re-signed the card themselves).

What doesn't fly with me personally is the run around with BC saying they have no idea if it was chip and PIN or signature or when etc. My card was recently flagged or fraud too (incorrectly) whilst I was abroad (having informed them of the trip before going). They could bring up every single location, amount, denied, approved and exact times. I find it doubtful they do not know if this transaction was for a PIN or signature - they would have been able to show the signature slip by now (venue would have been made to provide it or a copy in event of alleged fraud). I have no idea if that establishment provides long distance services, it looks like there may be more than one venue so it's possible they are processed under one site even if spend is at another? I don't know though so you'd need to check. Also could be worth googling to see if they have been under investigation before for involvement in fraud... who knows.

Still I find it a little unusual that there is allegedly no effort from BC to work with your OH to investigate this - their fraud teams are usually very proactive and wouldn't just "assume he accepted liability" and as far as I knwo they do send either a letter or email stating if they have reached a conclusion once fraud is alleged.

Also - bit late now - but these places have CCTV up the wahoo... usually in the bar but also other places to protect their staff (not all I acknowledge) and the business from allegations that services have "exceeded" the legal provisions of dancing. Nearly a year on I doubt that they would keep the tapes, but it could be worth looking at that avenue - but be aware there is a chance you might not like what you see... Also if your OH DID go to this place and your view of that is that it's "cheating" then I would say he's VERY unlikely to admit to it.

Heck I'm married and I'd be grumpy if I found out my OH went to a place like this - I'd be furious at the £1800! But I wouldn't have seen it as cheating (well no more than me going to see Chippendales) - I'd be cross at his stupidity at being taken for £1800...Of course if he DID do it he's now so far down the lie he will never be able to turn around and admit if he DID do something stupid...