Unwelcome attention from a male flatmate

emsywoo123

GhostBusterDuster wrote: »

You're very welcome Torby, glad I could help

You are awful! Can this guy be banned or something?
Glad the OP situation is working out ok! :T

bestpud

emsywoo123 wrote: »

You are awful! Can this guy be banned or something?
Glad the OP situation is working out ok! :T

Not wanting to inflate a troll or anything, but I have to admit GhostBusterDuster's last post made me smile.

Perhaps I need to review my sense of humour...?

emsywoo123

bestpud wrote: »

Not wanting to inflate a troll or anything, but I have to admit GhostBusterDuster's last post made me smile.

Perhaps I need to review my sense of humour...?

LOL perhaps MSE madness has set in?! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

PasturesNew

pinkshoes wrote: »

Are you sure your daughter isn't just over-reacting to this slightly? This guy just sounds like he's being over-the-top friendly, maybe trying to make her feel at home/welcome and to get rid of any nerves!

He sounds a dirty creep to me. And I am in my 40s. He'd scare me. I don't DO physical contact with strangers! I don't DO "dirty innuendo questions" until a rapport has been established.

Psychobot

In life there will always be people who do not understand where boundaries lie. At university people like to test boundaries. Student life IS different.

Communication helps. The girl should tell the guy she doesn't appreciate his behaviour.

If something kicks off after that, then it will become apparent that there's a real problem.

Thea's_Mummy

This thread has degenerated somewhat ! The word "pervert" shouldn't be bandied around either. I am sure that this was not the kind of advice Torby was looking for. Let's just hope that all goes well for his daughter from now on.

knowledgeman

Thea's_Mummy wrote: »

This thread has degenerated somewhat ! The word "pervert" shouldn't be bandied around either. I am sure that this was not the kind of advice Torby was looking for. Let's just hope that all goes well for his daughter from now on.

Why not

What other possible interpretation could there be for asking a woman he had just met if she was a "naughty" girl, that coupled with the over familiar hug and the early morning wake up attempt

I think its cler this isnt innocent

If it was a friend or familymember of mine the cant would be getting a smack

hogshead

It's a shame people are turning this around from the information that the OP had intended to gain.

Now that his daughter has friends in the accom too it might be wise for her to tell the man in a very polite way that whilst he intended to be very welcoming towards her he did infact make her feel quite the opposite.
The fact that they will be sharing for some considerable time it is best this is done as soon as so he doesn't feel it's acceptable in the future, which it clearly isn't.

It's not fair or just to throw accusations about but people are right to show concern for any longterm incidents which could occur from not nipping this in the bud.

As parents it is expected for us to be concerned for our children regardless of their age. If they are happy, sad, excited, afraid..it effects us no matter & having to make a 4am call is cause for alarm.

I hope all ends well & that she does talk to him about this as it will help him intergrate to the western style of living & what is acceptable socially in society.

Good luck & glad she's settling in OK at last.

Thea's_Mummy

knowledgeman wrote: »

Yes because asking a young woman you've just met if shes "a naughty girl" is just that

I think not

Im using my experience here and stating I believe hes yet another asian pervert who thinks sexual assault is ok

What is your definition of sexual assault ? And please look up the word pervert or perversion in a dictionary. The whole point was that the op's daughter felt threatened by unwelcome attention from a male and also intimidated by his fiancee , given her position within the uni .
I agree that his behaviour was utterly wrong, and I have said in previous posts how my husband would deal with the situation if it were our daughter; Torby was seeking more constructive advice ; and frankly, calling someone an "asian pervert" is not helpful.

knowledgeman

Thea's_Mummy wrote: »

What is your definition of sexual assault ? And please look up the word pervert or perversion in a dictionary. The whole point was that the op's daughter felt threatened by unwelcome attention from a male and also intimidated by his fiancee , given her position within the uni .
I agree that his behaviour was utterly wrong, and I have said in previous posts how my husband would deal with the situation if it were our daughter; Torby was seeking more constructive advice ; and frankly, calling someone an "asian pervert" is not helpful.

Sexual assault is any physical contact of a sexual nature without voluntary consent

Perversion is a term and concept describing those types of human behavior that are perceived to be a serious deviation from what is considered to be orthodox or normal

I personally think given his comments and later over familar hug he both sexually assaulter her albeit minorly and is a pervert

As for the asian aspect, I personally think its entirely relevent given the prehistoric view many asians have of women