Would you marry again if you were widowed?

System

yonn wrote: »

No chance, once is enough

Not a positive experience i take it! :rotfl:

Peter333

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

Well, I might feel like dating after a while, but I definitely wouldn't get married again (once is enough).

yonn wrote: »

No chance, once is enough

I have just quoted 2 here, but I noticed quite a few people have said 'no, once was enough.' I do wonder why....... One person said they were on about the wedding itself, which I found odd, as their original reply implied they meant the marriage, and the whole thread is about marriage.

Really find it a strange thing to say 'once was enough to be married,' with connotations of how they'd like to be alone now. (Not, 'I loved my spouse soooo much' and so on, just 'wouldn't do that again!')

Are they implying it wasn't a nice experience? :huh:

Someone actually posted on here the other day - can't remember who coz the post has been deleted - that they wouldn't never get married again, because they wouldn't want to go through all those years of hassle and bother again, and would like to actually be alone. 3 people thanked the post (before it was deleted.)

Do some people actually think like this? :eek:

If so, why not get out of the marriage sooner?

lisa110rry

I have read all through this thread and was hoping that Fruitcake would have shared his thoughts because he is in a similar, if unusual, position to me of having married his cousin. My husband and I will have our Ruby Wedding Anniversary next year.

My husband has quite a serious heart condition, is nine years older than me and is relatively immobile. In this circumstance, loss is something I do think about.

I would definitely not marry again. I would learn to enjoy my aloneness but would keep in touch with my many friends, male and female. I would be alright.

My mother in law was widowed at 45 and is 90 today, she never dated after the loss of her husband.

catkins

Peter333 wrote: »

That's fair enough, but I think you will be seriously restricting your choices. Most people (over 40,) have children or grandchildren...

Well as I am absolutely certain I wouldn't marry again restricting my choices wouldn't matter!

I know too many people who married someone with children and had problems so I've no wish for that for myself

duchy

I think there's some interesting assumptions, that a subsequent marriage would be exactly the same as a first , when in fact someone married in their teens or early twenties is possibly attracted by different qualities than someone older(and arguably wiser). We don't say we'd never have another best friend if they die or move away, is a partner really that different ?

Someone also said they'd keep my their friends and be content with that, yet many widowed people find friends like to be friends with other couples and once that dynamic changes the friendship does too.

anon123456

I'm finding most of these replies quite sad.

Should I pass away before my wife I would want her to be as happy as is humanly possible.
If that were with another man > Husband then with my blessing

I would hope that would be her opinion as well but not a subject I would raise.

missbiggles1

jackboy1 wrote: »

We've been together since we were both 18 and celebrated 30 years unwed this March. We had this conversation last week while on walking on the beach on holiday with our two dogs and I said that no-one could ever match up to him. He winds me up moaning, not seeing things that need clearing round the house, all the usual little annoyances but I could never find anyone good enough. Told him I'd rather have more dogs than another man.

I got a (third) dog after my husband died.:o

missbiggles1

anon123456 wrote: »

I'm finding most of these replies quite sad.

Should I pass away before my wife I would want her to be as happy as is humanly possible.
If that were with another man > Husband then with my blessing

I would hope that would be her opinion as well but not a subject I would raise.

I don't think anybody's said they wouldn't want their spouse to remarry if they died, they've said they wouldn't do so themselves, which is totally different.

arbroath_lass

Peter333 wrote: »

One person said they were on about the wedding itself, which I found odd, as their original reply implied they meant the marriage, and the whole thread is about marriage.

arbroath_lass wrote: »

I wouldn't marry again, no, I just couldn't be bothered with the palaver! I wouldn't be against having another partner, just not marrying.

I think love is different with each person, you can love as much again but it's not replacing someone. I've never believed in "the one" - that seems the sure-fire route to extinction! There are lots of people we are compatible with.

Not sure why you think my original post was about marriage and not the marriage ceremony. There's actually not enough there, IMO, to decide either way. Certainly no implications.

The OP asked, "Would you marry again if you were widowed?" and my answer was no.

JIL

I had a friend who had been with her husband since she was 16, they were very close. At the age of 45 he died very suddenly. She was absolutely devastated, it was heartbreaking. Two years later she was in another relationship, she said she wanted to love and return that love. She will never ever forget her first husband but realised life was for living, her husband would have wanted her to move on.

I really do not know what I would do in a similar situation.