The Talk! Uni parents.

OldMotherTucker

Guest101 wrote: »

I have claimed to be or have neither, simply stating an opinion (which I made quite clear)


You seem to react in a manner many would regard as immature. Given you claim (and you may well) to have 3 children aged 18-25, I would consider a responsible adult to react differently (but that could be my unreasonable expectations)


If this is your genuine manner, it seems to at least explain why your children all seem to lack maturity (even based solely on what you have written)

My son may have lacked maturity but my girls do not! He probably felt more pressured to have sex because all the males in his life did it before they were 16 not after!! His Dad lost his virginity at 13 in a school playground to a girl whose name he can't even remember! Great sex huh? Really meaningful!!

Guest101

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

My son may have lacked maturity but my girls do not! He probably felt more pressured to have sex because all the males in his life did it before they were 16 not after!! His Dad lost his virginity at 13 in a school playground to a girl whose name he can't even remember! Great sex huh? Really meaningful!!

Sex doesn't have to be meaningful, nor fulfilling, nor anything else. It's sex and can mean many things to many people.


I can barely remember my first sexual partner and that was aged 18. Certainly any previous girlfriends are long gone memory (and notice I didn't feel obliged to bed any of them)

OldMotherTucker

Guest101 wrote: »

Can you explain the below then please:


DD1 aged 21 is engaged and has bought a house with her gorgeous BF/SO/fiance - he's 5 years older than her!! They technically starting dating before they were of that age of 'majoritory' but they didn't get caught:p:p

As that reads as them dating from when she was aged 15..... (given you already said 14 was too young and 16 would be ofcourse legally ok)

My daughter wasn't an adult - she is still a child to me at 21!! She was over 16 and 'legal' but she was still my baby. He was older, way over 18, he had experience!! BUT he's got those old fashioned values about treating women well . . .

Guest101

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

My daughter wasn't an adult - she is still a child to me at 21!! She was over 16 and 'legal' but she was still my baby. He was older, way over 18, he had experience!! BUT he's got those old fashioned values about treating women well . . .

DD1 aged 21 is engaged and has bought a house with her gorgeous BF/SO/fiance - he's 5 years older than her!!They technically starting dating before they were of that age of 'majoritory' - You are saying here that she was under 16 are you not? but they didn't get caught:p:p


Do you think that treating your children as children is perhaps having a detrimental effect on their social development?


Like I said, to me personally, marrying young, before experiences other partners and finding out what you really want (and don't want) will lead to problems. (unfortunately it seems in many cases there are children involved in these relationship breakdowns)

missbiggles1

Is this the daughter who was working for a year before going to university?

baby_lemonade

Blimey, on and on it goes. Time to settle in, with some snacks

silvercar

I thought the thread title was talking to students as they start uni?

Judging by the last page of posts the advice should be to stick to fellow students rather than chasing after girls in school uniform!

pipkin71

Having read the thread OMT, I have to say I am quite surprised that you appear to be absolving your son of any responsibility in the choices he made by placing blame on the girl, her parents and step parents.

OldMotherTucker

Guest101 wrote: »

I would suggest thus:


At 14 she was too young to even be out in the world without you, but some miracle happened on her 15th birthday that, when a 20 year old came along, she decided (with your full consent) to hitch her wagon to his.


I'd suggest that when 40% of all marriages end in divorce, the last thing to be suggesting to your young daughter is to buy a house and start a family. Rather wait until she has fully matured and has experienced all that youth has to offer. Which will likely include many partners, many mistakes and many lessons learned.


I doubt there is an 'optimum age', but my opinion would be to wait until mid to late 20's.

Good job then at 14 BOTH my girls were still at home with me!!


And most youngsters today know that the majority of adults are liars and cheats anyway - that's how 40 % of marriages fail!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

OldMotherTucker

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Is this the daughter who was working for a year before going to university?

DD1 didn't go to Uni - She rejected her offer as she had a sixth form job at New Look. She stayed there and, 4 years on. she's a manager of her own outlet with the same company!

DD2 had to come and work at the pud factory with me for the summer cos there's not a lot else down here!! She's a fresher at Soton doing Adult Nursing!