Finances as a couple

Timpu

Joint accounts work well for us, both salaries go in and the bills go out. Only time money comes up is if either of wants to spend a large amount. Even then, the spend is not necessarily up for debate, it's about making sure the other does not mind the indulgence. Neither of us is bothered who earns more or less.

Slinky

pinkshoes wrote: »

:eek:

You spend well over £1000 on your hair every year??????? Seriously??????

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Do I? I don't bother adding it up, it's not that important.

Robisere

You will have to work it out for yourselves. Experience: of each other, of living together, of coming up against the occasional problem that Life can throw at you - all of these will test you both and result in a system that suits you both. You are both young, we are in our 70's and both had bad previous relationships in which money and sharing was a massive problem.

We started out by agreeing that we would share everything and we did. Starting from scratch, with nothing and two kids in our early 40's, we had some hard times, but we stuck together and we had a joint account from which we both drew. For a big expense, we told each other what we were buying, sat down and worked it out. For shared big purchases, we did the same.

Being young, and growing up in a totally different economic climate, you will find perhaps a different path, but I would still advise a joint account and total honesty with each other. Secrets kept are what can kill a marriage. I don't mean birthday surprises, I mean the spending of money for something and then hiding the fact.

I hope you both have along and happy life together. Learn to trust each other.

Slinky

ska_lover wrote: »

I didn't see where she was asking you for a contribution, so calm down, dear. If she can afford it, why the negativity towards her? I bet her hair is bloomin awesome

Thank you!

It's probably not £120-£150 EVERY 6 weeks. I've just started having an all-over tint to cover the grey, this costs £120 with a cut & finish. When I have highlights as well as the tint, which is about every 3rd visit, it's £150. About every 3rd visit I can get away with just a cut & finish which is £55.

Obviously I could get it cheaper elsewhere, but I have found somebody who consistently does my hair how I like it, she's one of the longest employed staff at the salon and isn't planning on moving on. Previously I kept having a succession of people who would get it how I wanted, then they left and I had to start again with somebody else. I was fed up with getting a wonky fringe when somebody who was scissor happy couldn't cope with my 'widows peak'.

I don't spend vast amounts on makeup/shoes/handbags/clothes/nails. I earn it, I don't want grey hair, I can't take it with me, so I'll spend it.

Slinky

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It isn't the surprise element I was thinking about (I think surprises are overated) it's the fact that you're paying for half of your own present.

If you've been married for any length of time and decided to split a judge would use a starting point of a 50/50 split of any assets anyway, so effectively in your marriage any money you spend on anything at all you're spending half each, whether that's a gas bill or an expensive Christmas present. I think it's just a question of how you view things.

cloudninety

There have been some interesting replies - thanks.

I think in retrospect that I probably didn't word my initial post very well. I meant a situation where all income goes into a joint account and then each partner gets some 'pocket money' and what things that pocket money might be expected to cover. I'm sorry about not being very clear.

Another example of where we differ on this (which I had forgotten about until one of the replies jogged my memory) is that I am keen for us to get a family dog. My partner isn't hugely keen on dogs but was happy for us to get one at some point, however when we were discussing our views on finances he said that he thought I should have to pay for everything dog related from my individual money ('pocket money'/personal spends money) because he isn't fussed about getting a dog. I was surprised by this because I viewed a dog as a family thing and that we would be getting it as a family and if he didn't want to have a dog that we wouldn't then get one.

missbiggles1

Slinky wrote: »

If you've been married for any length of time and decided to split a judge would use a starting point of a 50/50 split of any assets anyway, so effectively in your marriage any money you spend on anything at all you're spending half each, whether that's a gas bill or an expensive Christmas present. I think it's just a question of how you view things.

I believe that, in a marriage, everything is owned equally. The difficulty lies in marrying someone who genuinely believes in the same thing (rather than just paying lip service to the idea) particularly when the belief means they have to go without.

Janey3

The dogs we have had in the past have always been part of the family and as such the expenses for them were paid for out of our joint account. Admittedly the last dog we had, OH didn't really want us to have but in the end he came to love it and was daft as a brush with it! A bit mean imo to say you would have to fund the dog's upkeep from your own spends. There may also be vets bills along the line you will have to find.

Slinky

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I believe that, in a marriage, everything is owned equally. The difficulty lies in marrying someone who genuinely believes in the same thing (rather than just paying lip service to the idea) particularly when the belief means they have to go without.

I would never have married somebody who didn't share my views on money within marriage. Maybe that's why it took me so long to find him.

lika_86

Here's how we do it based on when we were earning similar amounts (we need to rejig soon in terms of exact amounts put into each pot but overall our system works for us):

House bills account - both put in half of the total to cover these:
Rent
Electricity
Gas
Insurance
Netflix
Water
TV subscriptions

'Joint' account - technically in my name but he's a second cardholder - we both put in a set amount each month which rolls over if unused:
Groceries
Meals out
Tickets/entrance fees to events or similar
Spends for the house where we both agree we need it - ie. new clock/new saucepan etc
Train tickets home when we travel up together
Other similar spends

Personal accounts:
Savings/credit card repayments
Clothes/shoes/haircuts
Travel cards (this should probably be from the joint account though)
Phone contracts
Gifts for others
Hobbies
Etc

Holidays and the like used to be paid for jointly and he would just transfer half to me or I'd pay for the accommodation and he'd pay for the meals out etc (we'd generally roughly agree on the total cost). Now I'm earning more I tend to pay for them which has evened things up a bit.