Finances as a couple

freyasmum

The important thing to remember is that every couple is different. More importantly still, is to make sure that you have a full and frank discussion about how the money is going to work for you before you get married - disagreement over money is one of the biggest causes of angst in relationships.

What we do personally is: All of our money is paid into the joint account and we pay a set amount into a separate account for each of us to spend as we please

Joint account pays for all needs - mortgage, utility bills, phone bills (mobile and home), contact lenses, clothes, haircuts, school costs, food. We also include car insurance and anything bought for the house - including our decking. It was his idea and desire to put decking down, but I'd never in a million years say that he'd have to pay for it from his spends account just because it was his idea :eek: Meals out and family trips would come from here, too.

His car needed a service, so it was done from the joint account. Everything that NEEDS to be done, comes from the joint account.

We also have separate accounts for 'fun' money. This is where we would put books, magazines, any fishing gear, separate nights out with friends, etc.

As it happens, my hair is much more expensive than his, but he has his cut much, much more frequently than I do. So it's actually pretty much the same.

I guess it helps that we have enough to cover what we need, so we don't need to consult over something that we need to purchase - though our equal standing in the relationship would mean that we would discuss a larger house purchase - such as the aforementioned TV.

We're also quite similar in nature and neither profligate, which also helps.

Forgive the judgement, OP, but your OH sounds quite selfish if he's happy to have the books, etc, come out of the joint account, but wants you to pay the cost of the family pet from your own spends. It would be different if you'd had the pet before you met.

But then its horses for courses - you only need to read through the thread to see how many varied opinions/ways of doing things there are!

NBLondon

sdude wrote: »

We have friends who settle the account every month. There's a horrendously complicated (or masterpiece?) spreadsheet on which all spending is logged (including the odd trip to starbucks) and adjusts for difference in earnings. they even adjust petrol on based on factors such as whose friends/family they are visiting.

That level of detail is frightening... We keep a rough mental track of whether we've used personal cash on grocery shopping (or bought a large personal item with shopping from the joint account) but only bother to reimburse if it goes over about £15 - normally it evens out over a month anyway. Petrol only comes into play if m'wife needs my car instead of hers (I have rear seats and doors, she doesn't) for a full week or a long trip and in practice she just tops the tank up and tells me when she gives the keys back.

Happier_Me

We do not have separate spends, everything is joint. We have various joint and separate accounts to take advantage of the higher interest rates though.


We manage our money this way for several reasons:

• DH has absolutely no interest in managing his own finances and I enjoy doing it
• We have been together forever and have pooled our money since day one
• Both our parents managed their money this way and I suspect that influenced our approach when we were younger.
• We have similar long term financial goals
• We are both capable of being very wasteful. And we are comfortable reigning each other in when necessary so we don't jeopardise our long term goals
• We earn similar amounts so contribute equally.
• We both feel that we are overall much better off financially running our finances this way. We are on track to retire comfortably at 55 and I don't think we would be in the same position had we managed things separately!

This works well for us and that's the key. There is no right or wrong way, you just need to find your way as a couple.

We have friends who will split the bill between them or work out how much one owes the other for a round of drinks when we go out and I just find the whole idea of doing this exhausting. But it works for them so each to their own!

Slinky

Happier_Me wrote: »

We have friends who will split the bill between them or work out how much one owes the other for a round of drinks when we go out and I just find the whole idea of doing this exhausting. But it works for them so each to their own!

Good God, how petty does that look.