Finances as a couple

maman

ali-t wrote: »

Its not a theory, so much as a personal observation based on my own circumstances.

I think there is probably an element of people who've been used to managing their own money wanting to continue with a separate account alongside paying their way on household bills. But that's not the whole picture.


I think it's also about what sort of personality you are. I know I want to be an individual as well as part of a couple/family. Having the freedom to manage my own finances seems to fit well with that mindset.

fred246

I work many hours earning money. My wife is a home maker. I manage all the finances. I give her a credit card for her to spend whatever she wants. I do like to borrow money at 0% so she does have to change credit card occasionally. The last argument we had about money was when she used the wrong credit card. I told her to use the Nationwide one instead of the Halifax. She said "but they are both blue. How can you expect me to remember?".

Gloomendoom

fred246 wrote: »

I told her to use the Nationwide one instead of the Halifax. She said "but they are both blue. How can you expect me to remember?".

My wife has about 50 credit cards. Apparently, each has it's own specific advantages. I have three.

She also seems to switch bank accounts every five minutes and I've been with the same bank for over 30 years.

Possibly one of the reasons we have separate accounts.

GlasweJen

Joint account:
Mortgage
Council tax
Electric bill
Food
Pet expenses

Individual accounts:
Car (his)
Care (mine)
Sheet music (mine I play, he enjoys listening)
Gun pellets (his)
Club memberships
Beauty products
Hair cuts
Clothes

Frogletina

Having had experienced several methods, I agree that no one solution fits all.

In my first marriage, with one child (and no child allowance for the first child at that time) I had no income but was given a housekeeping allowance to pay for all the bills and he spent the rest. The only money I could spend was what I could manage to eke out of that meagre allowance.

When I married for a second time I was in charge of the finances. Money was tight because we had a mortgage but we each had an identical allowance for personal spending, at first it was just £3! When our children were older and I worked, I insisted I paid an exact 50% of the household expenses into a joint account although I was the lower earner.

My final experience was living with someone where again we had a joint account for joint expenses but also our own personal accounts. Thank goodness for that because he was a spender and going into overdraft each month, though he never had any other debts. Despite earning almost identical amounts, he had no savings while I saved all that I could knowing what it was like to have nothing.

Now single again I still divide my money into household and personal expenses.

frogletina

NBLondon

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

OHs' ipad is playing up so he says can he change it. I said as mine was changed from my personal spends account in February {snip}I thought he should pay for it from his personal spends account rather than our joint one. He looked slightly miffed at this though.

I'm puzzled that this needs to be debated? Unless yours is a mini and his a Pro and you use his sometimes and not vice versa?

anto164

Joint account:
Bills
Mortgage
Groceries (basically anything that we buy from supermarket, including toiletries etc, excluding clothes)
Dinners out / lunches out together
Presents for family etc
Savings for Holidays / DIY / Etc, even though we do this in our personal savings accounts, the money is there to share as necessary.

Separate
Mobile phone bills
Car payments (I have a car on PCP, She owns hers)
Gym Membership
Clothes & other self purchases
Hobbies
Presents for each other

me1234

my account - mortgage, all bills, my car insurance and home insurance, and breakdown cover and all leftover money goes into mortgage


her account - all food and general shopping, her car insurance and all leftover money goes into our joint savings account

Faith177

We don't have any joint accounts but I have a household bill account that covers council tax, tv licence, sky, water rates. OH gives me half of that each month

At the moment as OH is out of work due to injuries from a car accident I buy the big weekly shop and he does the top up items during the week where needed and he buys all the animal food (works out about the same spend each)

After that we pretty much get our own things really but if we are doing a weekly shop and he needs deodorant or shower gel I won't make him give me the money and if he is going shopping and I say can you get me xyz he will just get it. We aren't the sort of couple who do you owe me abc we just take it in turns

Our individual debts are paid for by ourselves and any money we have left over is us to do as we please

He buys stuff for the house as much as I do tbh so again this isn't an issue for us but any big purchases we normally just split 50/50 or sort it out later.

Things may change once we get the settlement from his claim as we will be able to clear a lot of debt so will have spare money for once. Though due to his past history and his head injury I will have control of this and it will be in an account only I can get to so I know what is going on. If he needs anything he can just ask and I can get it sorted for him

sdude

Interesting thread.

In our case, married lots of years. we don't have a joint account or joint credit cards - just never got round to it.

All bills (mortgage, council tax) major expenditure (holidays, house repairs, refurb, new furniture, house insurance etc) from my account.
She pays various things - shopping, costs for children, books, petrol, etc.
I pay various things - shopping, costs for children, books petrol, etc.
Basically, with the exception of the bills and major expenditure who ever is deciding on the item will pay.

This works for us, a large part of which is based on me earning more than the mrs.

We have friends who settle the account every month. There's a horrendously complicated (or masterpiece?) spreadsheet on which all spending is logged (including the odd trip to starbucks) and adjusts for difference in earnings. they even adjust petrol on based on factors such as whose friends/family they are visiting.

I think what I'm trying to say, is you can see what others do and use this to have a conversation with your partner, but you have to find the right comprimise between you and your partner. We all do things differently. Personally, I'd rather be shot if there was anything more complicated.