Finances as a couple

Izadora

maman wrote: »

But the converse might sound like a meal ticket.;)

I know it always comes down to what each couple are happy with but we worked it out so that even though OH pays more he also has more disposable income than me. Of the extra that he has compared to my wages/travel costs, he pays 3/4 into the 'joint' account and keeps 1/4 to fritter as he pleases, although I still worry that it's unfair to him that he's paying a lot more than me into our shared finances.

BNT

maman wrote: »

But the converse might sound like a meal ticket.;)

It might do, but only in specific and unusual circumstances. For most couples it is normal that incomes are unequal, but I don't think many people would assume that the one on a lower income is just in the marriage for the money..

ViolaLass

BNT wrote: »

It might do, but only in specific and unusual circumstances. For most couples it is normal that incomes are unequal, but I don't think many people would assume that the one on a lower income is just in the marriage for the money..

Indeed.

My OH has done rather well out of me financially but he'd be an idiot to have stuck around for that alone.

fred246

When we got married my wife informed me that I was to be in charge of saving and she would be in charge of spending. That's basically how it works.

Gloomendoom

maman wrote: »

But the converse might sound like a meal ticket.;)

My mother was a stay at home mum (like the majority of her peers). She contributed nothing to the family finances. My father earned all the money to provide for the family as a whole. It wasn't his money and my mother wasn't freeloading.

Poppy3008

We put all our money into a joint account - and spend what we want on what we want. Big things require a discussion (sofas etc) but if I get my hair cut (£80) then it comes from joint account and if he gets his cut (£10) from same! I am certainly better off this way as my OH earns more and I am a spender but its how we have always done it and it works very well for us. I manage all the money - he has no idea wheat we have where and when but that's his choice. I show him and discuss it with him but he quickly says he's not interested. Fine by me! He had £14k debt when we married (and I had a mortgage and no other debt), I helped us get rid of that 14k within a year whereas he saw no problem with this debt. Different views. My sister has no access to her husbands vast wages and whilst she struggles on minimum wage and an allowance from him. No thanks!

FBaby

I manage all the money - he has no idea wheat we have where and when but that's his choice.

So how does he make sure there are funds in the account before he goes and uses his card?

That's the bit I don't understand about joint accounts. Say I want to buy myself some new clothes, but decide to wait and make sure that there is enough at the end of the month and no nasty surprises during that time before going ahead with my trip. Then the day before pay day, I am walking around town during lunch break and see a dress I really really like on sale, so decide to buy it and then decide to buy shoes to go with it. I come home all excited to show my OH and he announces that he too saw saw a great deal on the internet and ordered himself something so we are now in the red!

Is it a case that you would contact your partner before you press the button on the internet or as you are out of shopping? Is it a case that it doesn't matter if you are in the red some months, or everything is paid on the credit card?

The main thing I would hate is to make the choice to really restrict myself some months to put some money away to discover that my OH decided that as there was money left in the account, he would use it to treat himself. I suppose it all comes down to how much you communicate with each other about money and frankly, I wouldn't want to have these conversations all the time, I rather manage my account myself!

Bonfire_Bride

We don't have a joint account and our wages are paid into our individual accounts. BUT, we share everything....some bills come out of his account and others come out of mine. He earns a lot more than I do, but I control all the money and access our accounts daily via online banking (he wouldn't even know his passwords to log in with)

We have NEVER had an argument about money..

michelle09

We have individual current accounts and a joint that we each put money into, but all money is considered as joint in reality. We have a large take home wage disparity (nearly £1k/month) partially because I have two jobs and more experience in my field, and partially because my OH is paying off student loan and high percentage into a pension. I don't hold back finances because most of the take home now is mine, just as I wouldn't expect OH to hold back when we retire based on the fact the income is his.

All purchases more than a couple of quid are run by the other first, so no issue of accounts going red. I take hold of the saving, but once a month make note of what is in each account and add it to our budget so we are both aware exactly what the situation is.

It all depends what works for the couple. To me, keeping track of the overall budget is a must for staying on top of things (especially as we just bought a fixer-upper house in London!), but working out who exactly owes who sounds exhausting. Yes, if we ever got divorced it would be a nightmare to sort, but a) I like to assume we won't, and b) it would be a nightmare regardless!

maman

Gloomendoom wrote: »

My mother was a stay at home mum (like the majority of her peers). She contributed nothing to the family finances. My father earned all the money to provide for the family as a whole. It wasn't his money and my mother wasn't freeloading.

My mother gave up work to have me when she was 24 and never did another day's paid work in her life.


But that was a previous generation where it was expected that a man would provide and a woman would keep house. I'd like to think we've moved on from there. In subsequent generations, women have had far more equal opportunities in education and IMO should be increasingly playing an equal part in society.