OS ways and Poor Health

pollyanna_26

It's good to see you Pauline I expect it's warmer where you are than the grey , cold and windy NW coast . Dd also has a history of ptsd along with panic and severe anxiety attacks . I have to say after 20 years of many meds and pretty ineffective mh counselling often cut short too soon the holistic plan devised by our GP is working wonders ,
Mentally she's in a much better place than she's ever been in 33 years .
Having both a pain psych , counsellor , physio and an extra med added to the Propranolol has made such a difference to coping with everything mentally and dealing with pain and the limitations it can impose . The new med combined with challenging the effects of the BPD has been amazing ..


Are you going to be based in Spain for good now ? I know you were back here for a short break .
Take care

polly x

pollyanna_26

No idea what went wrong when I edited my post ! Are you ok Wednesday?
polly x

Wednesday2000

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

No idea what went wrong when I edited my post ! Are you ok Wednesday?
polly x

Yes, it's going quite well.

I was also going to say Polly that when I had treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder the clinical psychologist said that people with that condition often have smaller amygdalas than the rest of the population.

I'm thinking now that it was no big shock that I would have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia too.

https://medium.com/@KevinRedmayne/its-all-in-your-head-borderline-personality-disorder-and-the-brain-c14b66eb0966

For people with Borderline Personality Disorder, the hippocampus is in a state of continuous hyperarousal. Uncoordinated and dysfunctional, it consistently misinterprets threats, and relays faulty messages back to the amygdala.

Tink_04

Hi everyone and thank you so much for the comments and posts - especially Polly who always rememberers I'm so much detail! (I didn't know what day it is)

DH has his op next week and I have managed to use our savings to cover the loss in his wage at this time. It's more important he is back on his feet at the moment.

I do get PIP (lower rate) and I use this for any help etc I need but it's getting expensive now. I have got a new cleaner who is great but is £15 an hour so not cheap! I've ordered an online shop too which is £100!!! We only have a £300 food budget for a month and I'm worried it won't stretch but DH says I won't be going to the shops so it should save money on impulse buys (I'm never out late enough for YS items anyway)

I pay for a pre payment PX yearly so that covers the cost of my medication but I pay privately for other treatments that help me and I used the PIP towards these as they are such a great help to me.

I think I'm just panicking as the kids are getting more expensive and I've used our savings it seems like such a bad time to add more cost to the house. I'm just not coping and the stress and anxiety of everything is making my MS flare up so we need to sort out an easier way to live!

Thank you for all being here I'm juts a bit lost and overwhelmed at the moment. Kids are great but I always have the ongoing guilt that we can't do as much together as a family and Xmas is an expensive time of year. Need to try and find a way to cope as the stress will kill me one day!

Tink xx

117pauline

Good evening

I think that being able to express our difficulties to those who truly empathise and understand what it is like, is truly fundamental to our wellbeing. Often it's just what we need to get back to life and feel supported.

I am another who can only thank Pollyanna for her support. I always get a warm feeling when I read her posts.

So Spain is still warm although the weather is now becoming changeable. My fibro has reared its ugly head as we get more rain and thunderstorms. My friend who I am staying with has joked I could be a weather vane. I have been able to swim every day which has been wonderful but yesterday I did too much in the cold water and I am suffering today.

I will be on my own again from next week until mid March. I am definitely improving but it is so so slow. I still don't like going out but I can do it now, well a little anyway. The heat has definitely helped reduce the fibro symptoms.

I have also started to lose weight which is long overdue. I think it is one of those things that has to be the right time for you to succeed. I hate to admit I had reached 17 stone but since the 1st I have lost quite a lot of weight.

I have IBS and Bile Acid Malabsorption as well. I have decided to follow a diet focusing on reducing "diet" versions of products so no more diet drinks and foods using artificially sweetening or additives.

The change has been marvellous. I used to drink at least two litres of diet drink, now I drink sparkling water and I haven't really missed it all. Focus is now on real food and it has reawakened my interest in cooking too. Also I am concentrating on portion size too.

What is clear is that not one "cure" for any of us. We have to become our own experts so we can make conditions as good as they can be for ourselves. It is fascinating and thought provoking to read of other solutions people have found.

So greetings from Spain, gentle best wishes
Pauline

pollyanna_26

Tink You've got a lot on your mind and it's natural to feel some anxiety and panic . You've got your husband's surgery coming up and he'll need recovery time which means he wont be able to help as much until he's healed . You had no choice but to use the savings but that will worry you as the security of knowing they were there has gone .
However you've done your shopping and should be covered that way . I often see on various threads people who go out for a loaf or bottle of milk and come back will loads of things and have overspent . By doing a big shop you wont fall into that trap .
I know young children can be money pits but it's important to concentrate on absolute needs rather than wants . When mine were young they used to compare themselves to their friends with multi foreign holidays and a never ending stream of the latest gadgets which were replaced by the next latest must have .
The older two were growing up in the eighties and all of a sudden the mortgage interest rate soared out of the blue .I just about managed to keep the roof on but many of their friends whose parents had maxed out numerous credit cards which were a big thing back then and remortgaged fairly new houses for house extensions and a new car each every year found their home repossessed .
There's a lot to be said for teaching children that money doesn't grow on trees . Lots of things can be done for very little cost . Peer pressure can be nasty but a lot of the kids that seem to have everything have parents worrying about the debt they've built up and sooner or later the atmosphere at home is affected .
It's a much tougher world now and the young need to learn to understand life skills to get them through .
Your two sound lovely helping out at home although they're only young . As I've said before they will grow up understanding disability and the challenges that come with it .
As for Christmas you managed last year to have a simple happy time and can do it again .


How many hours does the cleaner work? Does it cover the very difficult stuff . if it's helping try to make it a priority . Watching every penny and rationing "treats " can save a little . The slow cooker should be your friend with the cooler weather on the way .
Concentrate on keeping on top of the important stuff at home . Only iron what's necessary . Get the uniforms hung up and the children in their PJs in the evening . Allow for hot chocolate - Jack Monroe has some good recipes for cheap homemade on her site - snuggle up and spend time together as that's what matters most .


Try to take slow deep breaths when the anxiety kicks in . You'll get through this time . We're here for the good and bad days love .
Is your mum going to be able to help a bit while your husband is recovering?
Don't knock yourself out striving for perfection . Good enough is good enough !


If you can post the physical stuff at home that's difficult let us know and we'll see if we can think of things to help .
Take care love

polly xxxx

Tink_04

Thanks Polly. The cleaner is doing 3 hours a fortnight (but extra at the beginning to do the whole house) she is doing the hard jobs I can't do and I love it! I do t smoke or own expensive shoes so I justify it that way.

The kids I know need very little but it's the pressure of getting 'nice' things for them. It's hard as a lot of my friends are well off (and only have 1 Child) that the kids are dressed really well and it's hard to match that on a good week. I know it's not important but it upsets me.

I love my slow cooker and it helps fill my freezer too. Nothing gets wasted and it can all go in a stew or soup. Having a hot meal when you come home is always amazing.

We have never been abroad with the kids and was over 10 years ago when we went - we juts can't afford it. I feel like I sound so ungrateful but it's nice to 'spill' it all out here.

I have 2 healthy children in a home we own and we are both working. That's so much mor ethnic some I feel I can't complain. Life juts gets on top of you some times. When I'm in the right frame of mind I put the world to rights and laugh about people spending so much money on clothes for kids etc so this is not the norm for me at all.

Onwards and upwards as they say!

Tink

pollyanna_26

Onwards and upwards indeed Tink. I know it's much harder nowadays due to those who spend money like water . Some may have a high income some may be going into debt to try to keep up appearances . As we know here life can change suddenly . Whether though poor health , disability , accident or loss of employment . The wise ones err on the side of learning how to manage when things are tight . The UK is in a pretty dubious state right now and it's important to have survival skills .
Lovely clothes or loads of bling wont keep the roof on and food on the table when times are tough . I would say never compare your life to others . It's all just stuff quickly tired of when the next thing comes along . A lot of the stuff ends up on ebay or in charity shops so if you'd like to pick up a few things when finances are a bit better you can get those things for a fraction of the cost .
You have two lovely children and the love is what matters . In the future they may remember one or two toys from childhood . My son remembers his wooden Brio railway his grandparents bought him and bought his son one .Son is a senior train driver and it's looking as though his son will become the 4th generation mainline driver . The other thing is a cheap thin cardboard road layout from Woolworths . He used to sit the cat in his tonka truck and spend hours on the floor negotiating the roundabouts and roads .
Youngest still has all her books from the Ahlbergs to the Pratchetts .


Your children will remember some things but most of all they will remember cosy nights in the winter , loving parents , watching you cook and learning from you both . Cut yourself some slack love you're doing a great job in difficult circumstances

polly x

pollyanna_26

Spain seems to be a tonic for you Pauline you sound a more positive so it's helping you . Do you get high temperatures where you are ? We both it's the extremes hot and humid or cold and damp that really bring on the flares . This year the large amount of appointments have meant the fibro has been with us a lot .
Maybe we could start our own weather forecasts to compete with the met office .We could make use of our walking weather vanes to earn money!
DD has suffered from IBS since her teens . Nowadays she seldom has problems as she took a hard look at all the food and drinks . She's been veggie for 10 years and that made a big difference . She was on meds for diabetes ( metformin ) for years but no longer needs them . She does take a buffer med to protect her stomach against the meds but generally only the methotrexate will cause problems sometimes and she has an antisickness drug which mostly controls that .


I can't take the credit for this thread . Everyone pitches in and it is the varied experiences we share that mean it will hopefully help someone .
It's not the biggest of threads but I like to be tucked away doing our own thing with like minded people .


I'm hoping to start a new chapter purely so newcomers can follow but have the option to pick their way through this one as they wish .
The new one will need to be linked to this .
As I said in my OP I'm not at all techy . So need to master the art of cut and paste to do it .
I did a test yesterday by bullet pointing a post . It doesn't look as good as the ones Larumbelle used to do here but it's not too bad for a first go .


If I can get dd on board as the queen of tech I'll try it once we reach a nice round number and I've planned a new op .
Does anyone think it's a good idea ?
polly x

pollyanna_26

Let us know how you are candy , hopefully you're sleeping .
polly x